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Open Poetry #12
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The Stairs That I Take
| Open Poetry #12 |
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The Stairs That I Take |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
The stairs that I commenced to take Seem to go forever on But who knew forever was this long? As I feel my heart break I give in to gentle conformity To escape jezebel kisses Full of their hits and misses I am bedeviled in my own parity But the open spaces converge Upon so many tattered remnants Of direction-less tenants Whose too many thoughts tend to surge Betray me not, I ask of faltering foresight Leading me a further distance Climbing with surer insistence Into deeper depths of a blinding height The stairs that I thought I climbed Lead to open doors before me Which close behind in finality Spiraling down through a darkened mind |
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| © Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved | |||
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A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
wow!!! those last few lines sent a chill down my back. lots of applause for this excellent piece. May your dreams always dance to the rhythm of a lover's heartbeat... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
But who knew forever was this long? As I feel my heart break I give in to gentle conformity To escape jezebel kisses Full of their hits and misses I am bedeviled in my own parity ========================= Betray me not, I ask of faltering foresight Leading me a further distance Climbing with surer insistence Into deeper depths of a blinding height The stairs that I thought I climbed Lead to open doors before me Which close behind in finality Spiraling down through a darkened mind =========================== whew...gives new meaning to the word deep. very cool write poet sir ... we are often our own worse enemy, arent we. very intriguing perspective in this cryptic, brooding, melancholy piece (which gives it the intriguing poetic appeal) excellent use of metaphor and imagery as well. "Leading me a further distance Climbing with surer insistence Into deeper depths of a blinding height" very cool ... very deep ... indeed. Heaven bound on wings of love, there's so much that you can rise above. I surrender heart and soul, sacrificed to a higher goal. ~DepechMode~ |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Ahh, thank you for seeing into the depths of me, Whisper and JM. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
pardon Moi' ... but I forgot 2 things ... one to mention your very clever rhyme scheme of both inner rhyme and reverse line pattern rhyme ... and I forgot to put this in my library and besides... this needs ... more reads 'tis too keen to not be seen  (ok I'll stop) *S* Where the touch of the lover ends And the soul of the friend begins There's a need to be separate and a need to be one And a struggle neither wins |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Very interesting......... I liked this  -SEA[This message has been edited by SEA (edited 02-10-2001).] |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Sometimes the choices we make are not of sound purpose but once made there is no erasing them. Excellent poem filled with much depth. I will have to read a couple of more times to fully grasp it I believe but that is a good thing because this one makes you want to come back to it. |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
What a wonderful way to come to work monday morning and see such responses. My day is made *S*...thank you all. |
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