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Open Poetry #12
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Silence of the Stars
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Silence of the Stars |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
You come and go as you traverse the sky Oceans apart still we never shall fall United beyond what passes these eyes For no Earthly sum would we miss it all From beginnings until ending’s sad sound We never asked for anything like this Just to keep heads in air and feet on ground But we betrayed ourselves with a first kiss Someday became one day then just never As the noise grew louder, hands to my ears The pain grew greater as I remembered That the loudest sound was us with you here Your beauty has been compared to the stars, Your absence is the silence that they are |
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| © Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I am liking this, very much....with each read times three, even better.... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
You come and go as you traverse the sky Oceans apart still we never shall fall United beyond what passes these eyes For no Earthly sum would we miss it all From beginnings until ending’s sad sound We never asked for anything like this Just to keep heads in air and feet on ground But we betrayed ourselves with a first kiss Someday became one day then just never ======================== hard to define what is the most impressive part of this poem ... the cadence and flow ... the imagery laced with the emotions ... or the poetic beauty of those last two lines of summation ... then there is that subtle underlying intensity and longing ... written so the reader feels it stir and linger ... Im glad I dont have to pick ... I'll just say ALL of the above ...I can worship them all equally  most impressive writing indeed poet sir...once again. Tomorrow holds only mystery And who's to say what might be But in you I've found a love so strong The sun and the moon look on in jealousy ~VH~ |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
a poem of longing and desire.... nicely written... thanks for the read  |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Thank you all for reading and for such positive feedback. |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
Wow.. the last two lines sumed it up so well! I enjoyed it a lot. "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today" ~Broadway Musical RENT~ *Cassandra Roseen* |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Thanks Dawn, it was with the last 2 lines that I began this one. Glad you liked. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
excellent. . . another reason why the stars shine with such beauty. . . well done. . . ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is a powerfully written poem....a captivating read--you are VERY good, yanno that? " Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." T.S. Eliot |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I must say that each time I read one of your works I am impressed that much more. This falls into the catagory of poetic mastery in so many ways. It is filled with perfection in every area and just as others have said...the last two lines will make this whole piece one to come back to again and again. If you find yourself stranded in a storm ...then reach for my hand and we will play in the puddles together |
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laryalee Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 352Alberta, Canada |
I love this - a grasp of such fullness and feeling! Lary |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Thank you very much serenity, no, i don't know that. Mark your poetry causes me to become silent in thanks. Thank you Laryalee for "grasping" it. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
you will know ... in time ... once you see your gift thru our eyes, poet sir ... your words best prove my point ... "Grant me for once, just one immortal night Whence I can see through thy unfiltered sight" like I said before ... exactly ... and trust me ... your poetry ... is "worthy" *S* |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I very much enjoyed this work, I found it to be very well thought out and with a great perspective.....ethome |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* this is beautiful. Filled with longing and romance. *sigh* how I have missed it here among such wonderful writers are you. The Meadow has kept me very busy I am afraid, but now I can relax and fill myself with wonderful poetry. I am so very glad yours was the first I read. Much love and hugs to you from me. Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. http://www.voy.com/7622/ http://www.powerpoems.com |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
This piece is very beautiful and sad...great writing poetic knight! Nathan |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
This is beautifully done ~ Ruth www.angelfire.com/pa/OriginalMinds/index.html |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
It is a very moving poem, written from your heart, obviously! "I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
So lovely and so sad... why should two hearts that beat as one not know the fulfillment of the love that God has given? persue her! A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails. |
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