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Open Poetry #12
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Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2001-01-25 07:18 PM




We, Us

there is never an I or he
nor is there a you or she
but there is a definite we
therein lies the mystery

love binds our care together

we look neither right nor left
but we feel the heave and heft
and the us that lies within
keeps us from looking again and again

love binds us together

the us of we is marvelous
so much sharing, little fuss
the miles of smiles, the good cheer
knowing what we say, we hear…

love winds us together

if I were to take a step
you would take one too
if I were to skitter in joy
you'd be skittering, too

love is kind, together

if I were to softly cry
you would only hold me closer
if you were to softly sigh
I'd be your angel on your shoulder

love is ours, together

the we of us is circumspect
for our footfalls we expect
to hear one of the other even if we
only live in realm of mystery

we bind our us together


01.25.01



© Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2001-01-25 07:53 PM


Suni,
how beautiful is this? Very beautiful indeed! I especially loved

the we of us is circumspect
for our footfalls we expect
to hear one of the other even if we
only live in realm of mystery

Keth


Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.



Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
2 posted 2001-01-25 07:53 PM


Replacing the "I love you's" with " I love Us"  ..... wonderful write and as it should be in the manner of true love.

If you find yourself stranded in a storm
...then reach for my hand and we will play in the puddles together

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 2001-01-25 08:47 PM


Breathtakingly beautiful, Karilea! Just as love should be!!

Denise

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2001-01-25 08:54 PM


Karilea~
Sighing here at the truth and beauty in this piece.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

5 posted 2001-01-25 10:18 PM


A LOVEly piece, Sunshine.
"We,Us" doesn't seem to be an adequate title, but then this language doesn't have a proper word for what you have written about.

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
6 posted 2001-01-25 10:31 PM


This almost sounds like a new wedding ceremony. Awesome.
I agree the title needs to be bigger, to reflect the magnitude of the poem.
Love it.
Sandra

jonmcm
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 222
England
7 posted 2001-01-25 11:07 PM


A lovely poem Sunshine.

Cheers
Jon

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
8 posted 2001-01-25 11:37 PM


Let me add my praise to the 7 before me - you must already know what an exceptional poem you've written - that of a woman who knows love and knows she is truly loved.
and I agree - these words should be part of wedding vows

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
9 posted 2001-01-26 01:29 AM


This is so lovely...words straight from the heart of love

We all have wings...some of us don't know why


Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
10 posted 2001-01-26 09:24 AM


Kari love, this is outstanding love it really is. Sheer poetry, of course it is you wrote it, so it would be.

and on the understanding of less is more, I say

             I love this

Take care love
                Majestic Marsha
                


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning



Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2001-01-26 09:04 PM


Thank you all...how much I appreciate your looking into this and seeing, of all things....wedding vows....

I guess now I shall have something to offer someone if they should ever say "can you write something for us...?" and I will say "I think I have it...now...."

Kethry, I thank you for your honesty...

Mark...your poetry is so beautiful, I someday hope to match it, at least once...

denise....yes!....

Marge, I heard that sigh....

Krawdad, I know...but what can I do...I go with the moment....

Cat....if you can give me a better title, I will use it....

Thank you Jon....I don't know that I've come across your name before, so, a belated WELCOME to Passions....please, enjoy!....

Mr. Yeats....I would hold most poets here up before me....so that I might strive a little longer, and become stronger, but your words, Sir, are heeded, and heeded well, thank you....

Paula, knowing what you do for those who cannot, it is I who thank you....

Marsha....I shall continue to try, just to please you....



Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




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