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Open Poetry #12
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Are you out there?
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Are you out there? |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace 
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Are you out there? yet another sleepless night I douse out the candle light take myself down to the shore trying to fill up once more sat upon the sand in mourning beacons blaring flashing warning watch the fog bounce off the sea echoes emptiness back to me heard a tear drop on the beach tried to catch it couldn't reach turned around found it mine had been with me all the time then the sea gave up a shell a sign for me? couldn't tell held it warmly to my ear needed it's secrets for to hear picked it up turned it round found it had an empty sound placed it back into the sea another lonely day for me alone now on an empty shore alone again once more placed a note inside a bottle threw it to the waves full throttle inside it took a note placed within all my hope sent out with despair "IS THE ONE I'M SEARCHING FOR OUT THERE?" |
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| © Copyright 2001 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved | |||
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Very rhytmic Slick, hope you find what your looking for. Rich |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
return the shell to ocean's shelf and listen for echo of self... for every teardrop drank by sand is but yourself to understand... there is no "one" who can save you... except yourself in sea of truth. You are incredible. I've got another favorite poet. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Wonderfully rhythmic, plaintive, vivid. Enjoyed the read very much and the hopeful fantasy within it. Did you see the movie, "Message in a Bottle"? I can't help but think of it. Though I don't like how it ended. Your poem stops while there is still hope intact. |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
Rich..... thank you for the read serenity.... I'm so glad you liked it & ty for saying such nice things (giggle) VAS.... thank you I'm glad you liked & yes I saw the movie, sad huh? but I am not as forlorn - I'm hopeful he is out there waiting for me. |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Slick, Nice work, I like this, has a comfortable feel. Good rhyme and the rhythm reflects the hope/dispair. Headed for my library! I can relate to a beach and fog . . . and find it consoling, but then . . . It is in your searching where You'll find you are already there And in looking for your perfection You will find much in your reflection. Krawdad |
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