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Open Poetry #11
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Shocked!
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Shocked! |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
The rose fell to the floor As loneliness echoed through the slamming door My heart squeezed love's pain I was alone and left in the rain My car a spaceship to emptiness Taking me from happiness I was allowed to go anywhere Except here The rain fell with my tears Each tear a memory of the years I can't look back Or the tender moments would react And hold me in the puddles of pain My will was weak and I cried again The headlights blurred my vision I had to make a decision I turned back around and drove fast I wasn't going to give up the past I should have told her how much I loved her How could I have left unsure I was ready and the rain had stopped Jumped from the car and the gate I hopped Busted through the door without a care Shocked! To see her arms around another man in his underwear |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Believe me I'm just as shocked! cool poem Insect |
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kat Member
since 2000-05-20
Posts 387 |
insect: I loved this poem but I sure hope this didn't happen to you. This would be such a painful experience for anyone to live through, so I hope you didn't live it. If you did, I'm very sorry that you did. Happiness will come your way. It just takes time some times.  kat |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Insect, Well written, I hope this has not happened to you. Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love (Daniel J D) |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
Ok now don't jump to conclusions. Maybe he was just visiting and when you burst through the door it scared him and he jumped into her arms. P.S. Hope he wasn't wearing your underwear [This message has been edited by inot2B (edited 11-17-2000).] |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain |
intense and well written. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
 eeeeks!!! So is there going to be a part 2??? You had me so ready for the happy ending...lol great writing~ |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Wait......that ending just messed with my mind.....she was supposed to be staring out the window waiting for him........agh!!!LOL  I sure hope this didn't happen to you, that would be awful to say the least. -SEA by the way, fantastic poem |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
circumstantial evidence haa...as long as she wasnt in hers  ...Enjoyed~Victoria~< !signature--> A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) [This message has been edited by Victoria (edited 11-17-2000).] |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Great poem....hope that this not happened with you.... Charisma |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
I was just thanking her for doing my laundry. All innocence. Parker |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Insect you  Ya had me hooked rite thru the poem and then you surprised me with the ending... I enjoyed this |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
OH YOU!!!!!!!!!Write me |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
Oh please let there be a part 2....I was so surprised by the end..... good work, though Pepper "A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth." Percy Bysshe Shelley |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Insect, I'M SHOCKED TOO!!! WOW!! This gives a whole new meaning to the phase you snooze you lose!!! LW< !signature--> Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats [This message has been edited by Lone Wolf (edited 11-18-2000).] |
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AMaZing Junior Member
since 2000-06-26
Posts 10 |
WOW!! That was Shocking!! Great work again... |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Rosebud1229…Thank you Yea! Most people are shocked! When they find out I have a spaceship…ha! ha! LOL kat…Thank you Purr Purr Happiness has already come my way because of all these replies. Thanks for the smile. Daniel J D…Thank you Not to worry! I picked the nose back up and put it into a vase! Oops! Did I say nose well I meant rose! LOL Inot2B…ROTFLMAO!! I love replies like this! Thanks for the laugh! Snow…Thank you I'm glad that you liked it Butterflies_don't_cry…Thank you Well I'm not sure… maybe in the future sometime. Thanks for dropping in. It's always nice to get a reply from you. SEA…You like how I did that!! Smiling big! Wonderful response! By the way SEA thanks!! LOL Thanks for the smiles and wink too. Victoria…LOL! No she wasn't in hers!! She was wearing nothing!! HA! HA! LOL I'm glad you came by to reply. Charisma…Thank you Don't worry! I'm not lonely as long as I have passion friends like you. Haleyja…Ha! Ha! Love the response! Thanks CocoBaci…Thank you I'm glad that you enjoyed this one. Thanks for the grins and that little devil grin too. Paula Finn…ME!! LOL Thanks Paula Glad you liked it. Peppermint35…Maybe in the future. Thanks Glad it got you. These kinds of poems are fun to write when I get fantastic responses like these. Thanks for the smile friend. Lone Wolf… Zzzzzzzzzzzzz! Thanks for the wake up call! Ha! LOL Nice to have you in my replies friend. Glad you liked my poem. AMaZing…Well what a shock to see you in here friend Where have you been? Glad that you liked it. Thanks for the smiles and wink! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Well you sure shocked a few of us here Insect, LOL! I'm coming in with the benefit of reading your replies, so it seems you didn't take off in a spaceship afterall? Great visual writing here, wonderful story ... very much enjoyed Insect! Best wishes, /Kit |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Kit McCullum…Thank you Kit Theirs no need to blast off I'm having a blast in here thanks to you and everyone else in Passions. |
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