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Open Poetry #10
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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2000-09-24 11:59 AM


Waking

One night in deep of winter slumber
Wrapped in blanket's warm encumber
In my room in shades of umber
Lying still in peaceful pose

In a dream as I was sleeping
Memories were slowly creeping
In my sleep my heart was weeping
Interrupting my repose

From haunting dream and slowly waking
Turning in a silent shaking
Window panes from icy flaking
Crackled as they piled with snows

Through heavy storm the night was glowing
Somehow meant to wake me knowing
That the sight of lovely snowing
Makes me weep as sorrow flows

Twas on a night of winter weather
Downy flakes as light as feather
We lay here in warmth together
Window sills piled up with snows

All the love I well remember
In the cold of mid December
Lost for good the burning ember
Now I bask in afterglows

Why God makes a plan of sorrow
Why do heavy winter snows blow
Yet through pain the nightime sky glows
It's a mystery no one knows

Elizabeth Santos


[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 09-25-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2000-09-24 12:11 PM


Liz, this is utterly beautiful! The flow, the beautiful style you've formatted it in, and the words ... oh the words. So sweetly and tenderly spoken Liz. Your talent is so rich, just wonderful!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

2 posted 2000-09-24 12:46 PM


Such a beautiful poem..love it..
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
3 posted 2000-09-24 12:49 PM


Hi Elizabeth,
This is just so gorgeous, I enjoyed reading every line. Thanks for sharing this one.

Bill

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-09-24 12:59 PM


Elizabeth~
Just the loveliest of verse.
You capture the essence of poetess
with your lovely penning.
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2000-09-24 01:00 PM


Elizabeth,
Very tender and very nice. LOve Sy
PS. A little on the Poe side, but I like Poe.

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
6 posted 2000-09-24 01:04 PM


Liz - if this is not your very best - then I am still to read it - I assure you this one is a treasure for my 'most treasured' box
seraphin
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004
Michigan
7 posted 2000-09-24 01:08 PM


Utterly exquisite.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2000-09-24 05:05 PM


Twas on a night of winter weather
Downy flakes as light as feather
We lay here in warmth together
Window sills piled up with snows

All the love I well remember
In the cold of mid December
Lost for good the burning ember
Now I bask in afterglows

Why God makes a plan of sorrow
Why do heavy winter snows blow
Yet through pain the nightime sky glows
Is a mystery no one knows

===============
OH Lizzie... this is exceptional ...
first of all the ryhme scheme is just AWESOME...
the cadence and flow had such rhythmn it just danced ...
i could eat the unique line rhyme with a spoon..its divine..
the essence is like Sy said  slightly Poeish
its haunting and enchanting with its dark edges laced with the imagery of the snow..
and then the bittersweet emotions..
they touched me so ...
this is simply awe inspiring work...
one of my new favs by you...
take care my sweet sweet poet of grace..
love you
me

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
9 posted 2000-09-24 05:34 PM


Thanks Kit, your words mean so much

Victoria, Thank you for the lovely comment

Bill, Thanks for the "gorgeous"

Marge, Thanks for the words, but more for the hugs

Sy, I'm not a Poe-ette. Tanks for your sweet comments

Wilfred,
You touch my heart

Seraphin, Thanks so much

JM, I'm so happy to see you back here, Your enthusiasm is contagious. You are sorely missed.
Thanks for the sweet remarks

Liz

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2000-09-24 07:34 PM


Total perfection here, Liz...loved the rhyme scheme...I'll print this one, if ya don't mind...
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

11 posted 2000-09-24 07:49 PM


Oh Liz, this is such a beautiful piece. I'm so glad that you've decided to share this with us. I especally love the last stanza:

"Why God makes a plan of sorrow
Why do heavy winter snows blow
Yet through pain the nightime sky glows
Is a mystery no one knows"

So true, my friend.

False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the diffrence.


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
12 posted 2000-09-24 07:53 PM


The reigning rhythym queen still rules....wonderful verse, Liz  
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2000-09-24 07:54 PM


Liz--This poem touches me so with its questions that can't be answered...its pefect rhythm and flow...it it just so well done...Hugs!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

14 posted 2000-09-24 11:01 PM


Wonderful writing, Elizabeth! I love the rhyme scheme too!

Denise

CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA
15 posted 2000-09-24 11:32 PM


Liz...you've done it again...
you'v made me sick at myself for not being able to rhyme.....lol.

wonderfully done...simply beautiful.

chris

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
16 posted 2000-09-25 06:34 AM


serenity, Thank you for wanting to print it

Love Bug, So glad you liked it

Balladeer, Quite a compliment from the Meter Man

Martie, Unanswered questions (Always a good topic) Thanks

Denise. You have inspired me to write with your beautiful sonnet. Thank you so much

chris, I wish I could write free verse. I find that much more difficult. Thank you

Liz

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

17 posted 2000-09-25 12:54 PM


Lovely poem Elizabeth...
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
18 posted 2000-09-26 12:43 PM


Liz - You have an incredibly classic sense of form and rhythm, combined with a wonderfully acute sense of consistency in your stories.  This poem sings.  Is it any wonder that I can never be happy with my own writing?  Here's a hug - oh, that I could wrap arms around you and squeeze ever harder.
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
19 posted 2000-09-26 12:52 PM


Absolutely superb!!!



[This message has been edited by suthern (edited 09-26-2000).]

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
20 posted 2000-09-26 12:56 PM


I think I need to retake your class again. When is the next registration date?  Liz, you pen such superbly beautiful verses and between you and Martie my eyes and my soul are quenched thoroughly in imagery and insight.  Thank you for sharing as YOU.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
21 posted 2000-09-26 02:53 PM


Coco, Thank you so much

Longjohn, I'll take the hug any day of the week. Thanks for the sweet comments

Suthern, Thank you for reading and for your encouragement

Mark, Sorry, I don't teach graduate courses. You are way beyond me. I think Martie's looking for a job, though, and she's much more qualified.
Your responses always warm me

Liz


grandiloquent
Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 104
Midwest America
22 posted 2000-09-26 09:01 PM


God, Elizabeth, this is gorgegous. The feeling, imagery, and layout... FABULOUS.
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