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Open Poetry #8
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I Don't Want To See The Light Of Day Co-Written with Jeffrey Carter
| Open Poetry #8 |
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I Don't Want To See The Light Of Day Co-Written with Jeffrey Carter |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Outside the wolves are howling < !signature-->inside I can hear him prowling packing up his bags to go away never to be seen here another day I don't want to see the light no, I don't want to see the light I don't want to see the light of day I can feel my heart start aching nothing to do to keep it from breaking he is going to walk out that front door how do I pretend I don't love him anymore? I don't want to see the light no, I don't want to see the light I don't want to see the light of day The tears stream down my face tell me how do I replace that which I have foolishly lost no one ever said love came with such a cost I don't want to see the light no, I don't want to see the light I don't want to see the light of day My feelings were tried and true now I'm left here feeling blue nothing but darkness in my sight too soon the sun will break and end this night I don't want to see the light no, I don't want to see the light I don't want to see the light of day I'd like to thank Jeffrey for co-writing another poem with me again. Thanks, my friend!!! We both feel this would make a great song. Let us know what you think.  Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith [This message has been edited by Lone Wolf (edited 06-11-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jennifer L. Garcia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
an acoustic ballad, you could get Madonna to sing it, or better yet P.J Harvey (though she writes her own songs). It would make a wonderful song, but as poet it is just as excellent. fantastic team work to you guys. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. manic street preachers "Culture Alienation Borebom and Despair" "I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing" -faster MSP "And you see, I kind of shiver to conformity Did you see, the way I cower to authority, you see And my life, it's a series of compromises anyway It's a sham, and I'm conditioned to accept it all, you see" six by Paul Draper. ----- |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
beautiful yet sad. i could hear the music in the background. this would make an excellent song. perhaps you could get Celine Dion to sing it. Afterall to me she is the Queen of romantic singing. take care. amy "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends." "Fate exists but it can only take you so far, Because once you're there It's up to you to make it happen." |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
Very lyrical! It would make a fine song. Perhaps single piano, a la Hootie's "Goodbye". That's sort of what it reminded me of. Very nicely done, you two! Trew. I have been to see the world. Tasted life at every turn. And all the time your face came back to haunt me. -Chris DeBurgh |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Brian....Thank you very much from us both. We enjoyed writing it. Amy....Celene....hmmmm, interesting choice. We do think it would be a great song. Thanks!! Trew....wow single piano. Nice take...I could hear that. Thank you!! Jeffrey and I were thinking Garth Brooks with Martina McBride as a duet. Fun to see what everyone else thinks!! |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
A beautifully sad duet...you two have a knack for writing together....I love the outcome when you put your poetic minds together thank you both for this! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This one! wow! Bruce Springsteen could do it proud! Congratulations! Kathleen "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace." Elizabeth Barrett Browning |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Lone Wolf and Jeffrey, I agree with Aimster Celine Dion this would be a HIT and you already have such a fan club right here at passions, you are well on your way, loved it muches... Cerenity |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
B.D.C....You are very welcome and thank you for the kind reply. We enjoy writing together so there could be more!! I.R....Thank you!! The Boss? Hmmmm...... Cerenity....We have a fan club?? LOL....COOL!!! Happy that you liked it. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
First and foremost, I want to thank Lone Wolf for having enough confidence in my abilities to have given me the honor of writing with her. I enjoy writing with you LW Hope we can do it it again soon Now..... It is very, very....errr.....interesting to see all of the different artist you all picked to sing this song for YOU.  I, myself, could almost hear this one being sung by a chourus of them all by the time I finished reading your replies...LOL Did I read this right???? We have a fan club?????? WOW, Cerenity1, Thank you for this wonderful reply. (Psst, The check is in the mail LOL)Thank you all again for all the wonderful replies, And thanks again to LW for allowing me the chance to write with you All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
'Tis the words sweet songs are made from. Great duet LoneWolf and Jeffrey! Wonderful rhythm and perfect sentiments to put a melody to ... I'll be listening for it on the Top 10! Best wishes, /Kit |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow, what a poetic pair you two make. Here's to more duets in rhyme |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
Nice Writing!!!!! Enjoyed the read!!!! |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~LW, Jeffrey,...I'm sorry, but this here poem just breaks my heart. It's so real and it makes me ache with sadness. The story told is a sad one....yet beautifully put together by the two of you. An expression definately worthy of being put to music. You two make a great poetic team. Wow,..this poem just hit me hard...I didn't mean anything bad at all by what I said in the beginning, I just meant that your writing was effective...which is great. I felt it 100%. So well done. *Peace. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
hey you guys....sorry im late to this party but im here to say YOU GUYS THIS IS EXCELLENT!!! WOW..you guys compliment each other SO well theres so much heart and soul in these words super duper my poetic-partner gators keep em coming..make the magic last~~~~ jm And it's good that I'm not angry, I just need to get over, I'm not angry, anymore Cry when you cry, run when you run, love when you love, represent the ashes that you leave behind ~MB20~ "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" ~Lao Tze Tao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Lonewolf got a great song going here. Came off real smooth, good hook, do it and do it to enjoy it. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Jeffrey....Thank you my friend. It is an honor for me to write with you. I enjoy writing with you JC and hope was can do again soon. We are too good to stop now!! Kit....Thank you for the great reply. Hope you hear it some day!! Ruth....you'll definitely see more from us. Fun and challenging to write them. If Jeffrey is up for more, I know I am!! Vandana....Happy you enjoyed the read!! Spit Fire....Thank you for the high compliments. We appreciate that!! Very glad you could feel it....that means we have reached our goal. I agree we make a great team. Thanks to Jeffrey for writing with me again. JM.....THANK YOU!!! Yes we do compliment each other very nicely. Similar styles and all. The magic will not die. Look for more in the future. We really enjoy it. Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
ethome....you snuck right in there on me!! Thank you. Jeffrey and I liked it!! Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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