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Open Poetry #8
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Erosion
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Erosion |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA 
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Erosion The rain clouds surprised us When they rolled in, Drenching us in their heavy drops. Why didn’t we see the rivulets That eliminated bits of our foundation And weakened us at our core? Raging winds blew by, Stirring ancient dust--- Scattered the essential parts That made us who we were. How is it neither of us noticed? Or is that we didn’t care? Pieces of us Washed away With my tears The slow erosion Of what once was And could never be again. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Tara Simms - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Beautiful imagery and comparisons Tara ... wonderful verse! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Tara, I love this poem its so cool... amazing emotional imagery and the title is so cool too so many strong images and metaphors superb writing. take care, jm And it's good that I'm not angry, I just need to get over, I'm not angry, anymore Cry when you cry, run when you run, love when you love, represent the ashes that you leave behind ~MB20~ "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" ~Lao Tze Tao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
wow Tara, I love the imagery, a powerful piece. very well written. This could be my fav. poem from your wonderful pen. The rain clouds surprised us When they rolled in, Drenching us in their heavy drops. Why didn’t we see the rivulets That eliminated bits of our foundation And weakened us at our core? ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. manic street preachers "Culture Alienation Borebom and Despair" "I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing" -faster MSP "And you see, I kind of shiver to conformity Did you see, the way I cower to authority, you see And my life, it's a series of compromises anyway It's a sham, and I'm conditioned to accept it all, you see" six by Paul Draper. ----- |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Thank you for your comments. I would have gotten back sooner but my computer died on me. |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Nicely written. Enjoyed your poem. Hope your 'puter has reincarnated... |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
This is very well done, Tara. -- Written with flourish and full of images ~netswan |
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