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Teen Poetry #3
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layla
Member
since 2000-11-19
Posts 74


0 posted 2001-01-05 02:03 PM


You are far away
too far for my heart to bear
far away you are
how i wish i didn't care
If i looked into your eyes
Theres no doubt that i would  cry
for the love that we both have
for the love we can never try
Theres a glass wall between us
it separates us in every way
i cant even reach out to you
life has just got me so afraid
Maybe if we smashed the glass
and ran away to a whole new life
ya, we'd be together, but look at
the mess we'd leave behind



© Copyright 2001 layla - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-01-05 02:09 PM


Glass wall... great metaphor.  A fragile, invisible barrier that seperates you two.  Your fear for shattering the glass, because you don't want to make a mess, is an odd dilemma.  By a mess, i assume that you mean family and friends hurt by it somehow?  This is the impression that I get.

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
2 posted 2001-01-05 02:28 PM


I saw the same things Allen did, I think this is such a good poem!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

GirlsBestFriend
Member
since 2000-12-27
Posts 71
Planet Earth
3 posted 2001-01-05 02:33 PM


I like it! u have an excellent imagination, layla. keep it up!

~lots of luv


"Isn't it funny how to the world you are nothing? But then to one person..you're the world"

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2001-01-05 05:03 PM


beautiful poem, i love it...sorry to hear about your situation.  things will get better.  positive thinking helps   thanks for the read

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Author Unknown
Member
since 2001-01-05
Posts 57
Linn MO USA
5 posted 2001-01-05 05:09 PM


awesome, the best poems come from the heart and emotional exeriences, loved it totally incredible

*dont let life bring you down dig thru the ditches and deck it in the face and reclaim your place*---Kyle Finn.....2001

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-01-05 09:28 PM


Nice one here. I liked it a lot. You'd leave a mess behind, but you just might be a bit happier regardless.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
7 posted 2001-01-06 12:36 PM


Yes, yes, I agree with Dopey... Great work here  
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
8 posted 2001-01-06 01:54 PM


I will have to disagree with DD's advice...
if you would be leaving a mess just so that you would feel better, isn't that a bit selfish?  I would try to carefully ease it into being, instead of "shattering" the glass try to get through slowly, so that you leave less mess.  Then you can be happy without hurting so many so much.

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

9 posted 2001-01-06 04:18 PM


Nice poem Layla.  I like what allen said... Maybe you can get past this wall with out shattering it and making a mess.  In any case I think you need to conquer this "glass wall" don't just walk a way from it.  Great poem
Jason

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
10 posted 2001-01-06 11:38 PM


I have to agree with Jason here...  I think that you need to investigate why  there is a glass wall here...  you obviously like this guy and by the looks he likes you, but there is something standing in your way...  possibly something that allows great friendship, but not great love...  Find out what this Glass wall is keeping you apart for and then conquer it and find everlasting love and happiness!!

Good Luck

Melz!!


Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
11 posted 2001-01-07 03:44 PM


somehow, someway you have to reach through this wall...
i loved the poem, it was really expressed well
best wishes

~JDR

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde

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