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Teen Poetry #3
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no goodbyes
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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no goodbyes |
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Meladorri Junior Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 14Indianapolis, IN |
sorry I posted twice in a row... i guess I was motivated all of a sudden. well, this isn't very good, it's more of a story than a poem. on top of the world smiling down from my pedestal i saw you smiling back so happy so carefree so blind looking down i saw someone someone else he smiled we talked we laughed you worried I consoled you worried even more a breezy august evening just a year ago i tore us apart i was selfish you were kind we were through a sleepy november morning i heard the news it couldn't be true i lost you forever without a goodbye it couldn't be true but it was i lost you forever without any goodbyes i kiss the flower drop it on your grave whisper "i love you" i wish i would have told you i only realized too late i'll love you always and forever *don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened* |
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| © Copyright 2000 Justine - All Rights Reserved | |||
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AndrewDL Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 24California |
i'm not sure at all if this would be considered a story- but i would guess that all literature tells a story of some sort, no matter how abstract or detailed. i liked this poem even though i'm not one to particularly take free verse to heart. i thought this was great though. three lines of simple, sincere thought per stanza. i think that this is the better of the two poems that you posted consecutively. great work -Andrew Trust too much, and you may be deceived, but trust too little and you will live in torment forever. |
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Crystalina123 Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228 |
I like this poem, not because of it's structure (which is good as well) but because of the message. I don't know if this is true or not, but if it is you have my sincerest appologies. The message of this poem is so true though: Tell someone you love them when you can because you may not be able to later. Crystal |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
This is such a great poem, the message is wonderful. |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Im very sad to hear about this loss, Im sorry you never got to say I love you in a special way, sometimes things dont work out right, keep on a smile, and if you ever wanna talk you can IM me, great poem. Love, ,._-=-~^* Jeremy *^~-=-_., "I will know where I'm headed, cause I'm so tired of the suffering I stand before you, a weakened version of your reflection" ~DMX~ "Prayer III" |
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Meladorri Junior Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 14Indianapolis, IN |
thanks once again for everyone's thoughts. i love this place b/c everyone is so supportive, understanding, and helpful. special thanks to krylic for sending me here.. love ya hon. to crystal: yes, the experience i write about is true. i lost my very good friend/boyfriend to a car accident last november 5. i'm so glad that you found the message in my writing, that's what i had hoped would happen. never, ever, wait to tell someone how you feel, b/c "later" can too easily turn into "never" *don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened* |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
So sad, to lose someone like this. My friends almost lost me a few months ago. But, since I'm such a voiced person, one of them found out and wouldn't leave my side, until they knew I'd lost that thought. If you love someone dont put their name in a heart, put their name in a circle, because a heart can be broken but a circle is continious. |
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JR Junior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 22morris il |
melladori, very intresting topic as well as the way you went about writing it. I'm motivated to hear more of your poems good luck and keep writing. --JR |
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kimmy Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98 |
i am so terribly sorry for your loss..but poetry is a great way to ehow your emotions if you cant figure out anothre to speak of it..but i liked the poem.. |
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