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Teen Poetry #3
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mr0001
Junior Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 39


0 posted 2000-06-12 01:43 AM


you say
  "i love you"
and i say
  "i know"
you say
  "and i'd stop the world for you"
and i say
  "i know"
you say
  "but i'm getting tired"
and i say
  "i know"
you say
  "and i don't know how much longer i can..."
and i say
  "i know"
so you say
  "good-bye"
and i am left speechless.

© Copyright 2000 mr0001 - All Rights Reserved
amazon_lover
Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491
Dublin,Ireland
1 posted 2000-06-12 03:13 PM


Hi mr001
Good one

Sincerely
A_L

mickel2995
Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 48

2 posted 2000-06-12 06:01 PM


This one is a bit confusing, the relevance of loving one person and stopping the world for them is what to saying good bye? would you like to clarify for little me? Micale
Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551
Pennsylvania
3 posted 2000-06-12 10:14 PM


I liked it a lot. The style was really neat. And, if you don't mind, Micale, I'm going to take a shot at explaining it.

Sometimes one person feels like they're doing all the work and it can be hard on them, and even though the other person knows how they feel, they really don't know what to say about it. Then when that person finally does have enough and say goodbye the other person is left with nothing to say because they know they had a chance to stop them and didn't take it, once again they are left speechless. Did I come close?

Great Poem  .

~Susie


 "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Driftwood"


mr0001
Junior Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 39

4 posted 2000-06-13 12:54 PM


thanx for responding  

actually susie, you hit the nail right on the head!! sometimes we can love people but not ever tell them and they just get tired of being the only one talking and they feel like the only one in love...and i know that the poem was a little confusing, micale, but so is love  


 "crazy" is just who you are...amplified.

some people draw the outlines in life, i chose to add the color.

Snickers
Member
since 2000-05-25
Posts 88
East Haddam, CT
5 posted 2000-06-13 07:30 PM


I like it a lot.  And you are right mr, love is confusing.  But ya know what, if it wasn't it'd be boring!  )  You have a great way of writing poetry.  I really like all of your work.  Keep it up!

~<3 Alwayz~
**Nikki**

Novacaine For The Soul
Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122
New Orleans
6 posted 2000-06-14 12:22 PM


dear mister,
     now THIS i like!! *waa haa haa* i may be wrong, but this is absolute poetic genius... flow, rhythm, story line... and so concise... major kudos to you, boy-o... and keep it up... i'm off to read more of your stuff... hope this brilliance wasn't just a one-time thing...

sincerely,
a sad tomato

 you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you...

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