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Open Poetry #9
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Solitaire
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Solitaire |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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Solitaire The window was open and crickets hummed in the warm summer night when he told her, let the words out fast, taking deep breaths at each pause, like he had practiced how to say good bye. Now the light from a full October moon shines and patterns the wall to lace and the branches of the elm tree dance like graceful fingers across her bed. She hears a faint click, click and a steady hum, she knows the sound of solitaire, she is aware of the lonely heartbeat it represents, sometimes the sound of the world crashing is so soft, she thinks. A faint light shows through the crack, her hunched back a silent statement, the computer lights the mood of a hand on the mouse, and she almost says her daughter’s name but the word won’t come, her voice is as helpless and as tired as a limp rag hanging on the line on a windless day. She feels the weight of a question and it hits her and tares at the heart of the mother in her. So the name is spoken with the voice of a cracked heart and then she is looking through and breathing the perfume of her child's dark hair and the mouse is dangling in the stuffed pain of an empty room. [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 08-03-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
"sometimes the sound of the world crashing is so soft, she thinks" And sometimes the sound is so soft, you don't notice it until you've awakened. Martie, this piece's poignant, sad scene and detail made it difficult for me to get through. You write beautifully, my friend. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Your ability to write brings all the emotions of your words to the reader and can be quite vivid and overwhelming. I have been touched by your works before as you know but this one reaches the depths and it tears at me as I share the pain with you. This is what Poetry is and you have created it to perfection.  |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
So very beautiful and so sad. Artfully crafted as always, Martie! Corinne |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ Oh, sweet sister of my heart ... 'She hears a faint click, click and a steady hum, she knows the sound of solitaire, she is aware of the lonely heartbeat it represents, sometimes the sound of the world crashing is so soft, she thinks.' How I ached reading this moment of 'solitaire' ... you touched me tender ! I could hear you whisper her name. Love you~ ~*Marge*~ < !signature--> ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com [This message has been edited by Marge Tindal (edited 08-03-2000).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
So the name is spoken with the voice of a cracked heart and then she is looking through and breathing the perfume of her child's dark hair and the mouse is dangling in the stuffed pain of an empty room. ===================== i am awed and moved wordless by this poem and the poets grace... you KNOW....now so do we... thank you love ya jm There are places inside our souls - that have never been touched. There are places inside our hearts - that need to be loved this much. ~jm~ |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
The ache and the longing never go away. This brought tears, Martie. Excellent writing, of course. HUGS Denise |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Claire--thank you so much for your always sensitive replies. Mark--I am overwhelmed by your words...thank you so much. Corinne--Thank you for the nice compliment/ Marge--It is easy to touch you..you have such a tender heart. Janet--that was not wordless...that was wonderful words that made me smile. Hugs back to you Denise--sorry for the tears. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Martie, there is just nothing to say...This is a stunner...hugs to you through the tears... |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
An excellent profoundly written poem this Martie... regards, sudhir |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Serenity--although I have had similar life experience to the characters in this poem...and thus the feelings are very real...this is not my story. Thanks for the hug. Sudhir--Thank you very much for reading and for your great reply. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
I sit ok I be as envious as hell of your poetry Martie. This is an amazing piece. WOW a scene so vivid and realistic. A fantastic poem. standing ovation. "I am melancholy, flower cutting through stone" manic street preachers |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Don't mind me.....I was just taking another walk through your world.   |
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Mona Lisa Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 100Halifax, Nova Scotia |
You have constructed a wonderfully worded and meaningful poem. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your work. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
*clicking again* smile |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Martie, nobody brings words to life like you do This is poignantly sorrowful, well expressed~ Melissa~ |
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