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Passions in Poetry

They have passed here

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jbowie
Member
since 02-18-2000
Posts 137
BANGOR (that OR) ME


0 posted 03-11-2000 11:41 PM       View Profile for jbowie   Email jbowie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for jbowie

An angry rodent,
eyes darting about, sees,
filthy dirt, grimy
and trod upon
Murky water,
deadly to drink
Sunstroked trees
withering in a barren forest,
peeling bark
Stench-filled air
acid to breath
Humans were here,
they left their mark
© Copyright 2000 James Bowie - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


1 posted 03-11-2000 11:47 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Oh, those dirty rats! Great twist. We do indeed leave our mark, don't we? Excellent.
EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 03-08-2000
Posts 1705
Here, Now, Forever


2 posted 03-12-2000 02:28 AM       View Profile for EagleScorpion   Email EagleScorpion   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for EagleScorpion

Nice piece, fellow rodent
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 03-12-2000 06:48 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Whose worse, the rodents or the humans?...great turnabout, James!

Denise
Nan
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since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


4 posted 03-12-2000 07:02 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Indeed!!!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


5 posted 03-12-2000 07:46 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

They're rats I tell you.
Dirty rotten rats.
Call the exterminator !

Interesting read.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

bboog
Member
since 02-29-2000
Posts 307
Valencia, California


6 posted 03-12-2000 08:00 PM       View Profile for bboog   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit bboog's Home Page   View IP for bboog

I like the idea of this poem, maybe retitle it~ Humans Have Passed Here. Also maybe consider adding asbestos, lead-based paint and a few aluminum cans?
Your call.
bboog
jbowie
Member
since 02-18-2000
Posts 137
BANGOR (that OR) ME


7 posted 03-12-2000 10:30 PM       View Profile for jbowie   Email jbowie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jbowie

Bboog - yeah I should have added a bunch of other junk but was just keeping it simple

and maybe the title could change but I left Humans out of the title cause the point was to make a twist of it.
 
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