Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
There are some things I'm good at. Well, at least there's one or two
And I am very pleased to know the things that I can do
But there's one thing I fail in though I try as hard I can....
I cannot hold a conversation with my fellow man.
I do admire those lucky people who can talk for hours
Of nothing in particular but I don't have those powers.
As much as I may want to, it just doesn't work that way.
When it comes time for me to speak I don't know what to say!
For those who need a helping hand I'd like to be a friend
And offer words of wisdom or have sympathy to lend
But, though the thoughts may be inside, my mouth just doesn't work
And so I come off looking like some cold, unfeeling jerk.
I have a friend named Babbling Bob who's just the opposite.
At any party or event he always is a hit.
He always looks attentive and can talk for hours on end
And everybody that he knows considers him a friend.
I asked him, "Bob, how do you do it? Give me some advice.
I'd like for folks to know I care and think of me as nice.
Is there some wisdom you can share? Some form of sorcery
To help me open up at times when people talk to me?"
"I'll tell you what to do, my friend," he said. "There's nothing to it
And folks will think you're wonderful and love you if you do it.
Although you may consider my advice to be absurd,
All you have to do is just - repeat their last few words!"
Armed with this new ammunition, ready for the fight,
I went to Mavis Feldman's party on that very night.
Within five seconds flat she had me up against the wall,
Just looking for a pair of ears that she could give her all.
"I'll tell you, Mike," she told me, "sometimes life is just a pain.
The way my husband talks to me can drive me quite insane!
Last night he screamed for two hours straight and it was just because
He didn't like his dinner!!"......here she looked at me and paused...
"He didn't like his dinner?" I replied in mock surprise.
"That's right!", she said, "and I get sick of all his silly lies!
He comes in late and wakes me up by making so much noise,
Smells like Chanel and says that he's been drinking with the boys!"
"With the boys?" (I raised an eyebrow here) She smiled. "AHA! You see!"
(.....and blah, blah, blah and on she went while smiling back at me.....
.....then round the turn and back again..the avalanche went on .....)
Until, at last, I heard her say, ".....by that time he was gone!"
"He was gone?" I said. "That's right!" said she. "I thought I would explode!"
(.....then blah, blah, blah and off she sped one more time down the road.....)
For two full hours I stood and smiled and, at the very end,
She shook my hand and kissed my cheek for being such a friend.
All evening long, folks sought me out. I really was a hit.
They marveled at my great advice and chuckled at my wit
While I stood, thinking of small things to change in my golf swing,
With ears poised for each word they said and saying that same thing!
The rest, of course, is history. I never am alone.
There's always someone at the door or calling on the phone
And I fulfill a vital need by doing what I can
To be a friendly audience to my good fellow man.