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Open Poetry #6
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Free Verse?
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Free Verse? |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois 
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Alright, I've never attempted this before, and have no clue if I've even done it. When it comes to my husband I can't ever seem to find words to write him a poem. They just don't come, but this is what did. Please let me know what you think...thanks You have no idea those words you said to me How much they mean How long I've waited to hear them How it has opened up a part of me And made my heart feel light again For the affection was finally behind them How lost my soul was with out those words With a bit of meaning How alive I began to feel Too many times in life it is taken for granted That another knows the depth of your feelings And they go unsaid With low self esteem it is hard for me to know Hard to accept without hearing that you feel that way For whatever reason you decided to reach out To tell me that you had eyes only for me was a blessing A long awaited blessing That you've reached out and taken me in your arms And wrapped me in your love The love my soul has longed for For so many years [This message has been edited by WhtDove (edited 02-07-2000).] |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is beautiful, Rebecca! Simply beautiful! Denise |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Thank you Denise! What I wanna know is if I have actually done what is called free verse. Anyone? |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I like this very much, Dovie... I can really identify with "Hard to accept without hearing" *S* |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
WhtDove, I really don't know about free verse or otherwise. What I do know is that this is beautiful and so very heartfelt.  -SEA |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Thanks you suthern! It's too bad that anyone can relate to that one ya know? Hugs to ya! Thanks! SEA thank you! What a sweet compliment! I appreciate that much. <*\\\>< When you can't make up your mind Which way is right for you, Stop and softly ask yourself, What Would Jesus Do? |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
yes this is free verse and very beautiful...and yes, I think even when you "know" ....hearing is still nice |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
This is so lovely, and I related so well to the "low self esteem" part. That has plagued me all my life. But your poem had such a beautiful ending. Very well written Liz |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
You've expressed your feelings - your emotions - and you've done it nicely - That's what it's all about.. As for the rules of free verse.. Pretty hard to break them when there aren't really any to break... This is wonderful, WhtDove... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
WhiteDove- This is as free as free verse can be. You did it so lovingly. How could it not be? Free verse falls easily from the tongue or the pen. It says what 'conversation' says. Yep ! This is free verse alright ! And I'll bet you're relieved to know you didn't break any rules. NAN SAID SO ! And she knows. And that's a fact. So, it's settled. Awwwwwwww ! Now can I say that this is just so sweet? It is ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Corazon thanks so much! My first attempt and probably my last! Thank you Liz! I've been plagued by the very same thing all my life too. Though it's gotten better but I have to say sometimes ya just need reminded! Thank you very much. Thank you Nan! If I did good then that's wonderful. I wonder what Christopher is gonna say...hahah Be good to me Chris! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Free verse is poetry without form that conveys the heart's emotion..  I made that up! But seriously, this is so good dear...and I'm so happy he finally came around!  |
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Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
Well, not being a "free verse" person, I couldn't tell ya much about that. All I can say is that this is lovely....and I think you did wonderfully. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Angel, this is really beautiful honey!! You did well with free verse!! What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Splended free verse Rebecca. Very beautiful and very meaningful words. So very true to all of us. michael |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Marge your so kind! Thank you, and I'm sorry you must have snuck in there on me on that last one! Yep, I'm relieved I didn't break any rules! LOL Thank you Marge! ROFL Devine! You made that up? Twas a good one at that! Thanks Sharon! I am glad to, I can't tell ya! Sally I am not much of a free verser either. Thanks so much for your wonderful reply! DA many thanks and hugs. Michael thank you! It was from the heart, I had a real big blessing! Happy as a pig wallerin...well you know the rest! haha |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Dovey, this is wonderful. Sometimes being hindered by trying to follow rhyme schemes takes away from the meaning of what one is trying to say. You have simply let your thoughts come out on paper naturally and the result is beautiful! |
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Majestic Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 264houston, tx. |
hehehe..hit the button twice...lol...so i'll say it again...great job! [This message has been edited by Majestic (edited 02-07-2000).] |
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Majestic Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 264houston, tx. |
Ditto on the don't Know anything about free verse...but this was great...makes me wanna try it...lol... "To live is to love; To truly LOVE is to live!" ~kg~ |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Balladeer coming from you I know I did good.  Thank you, I really appreciate that!Majestic go on and give a shot, from what I understand there are no rules to break. So have at it! Thanks! |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Well, Rebecca...I haven't a clue, as you already know, about free verse...but my friends before me do...and they agree it's wonderful free verse....I say it's a wonderful and heartfelt piece!! Beautiful Dove!! |
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tori Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA |
Dove words from the heart ~for someone who claims they could not find the right one's ~I don't think you left one out... a very touching verse be proud.. Bravo Gir..... If with pen in hand I've made you think I've not wasted one drop of ink Vlh. visit my site~ http://www.hsanet.net/user/dkm/hellomy.htm |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Pepper I guess they know better than me Thanks sweetie! Tori you're making me hehe Thanks girlfriend! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
This is beautiful Rebecca and I do hope you give it to him, it says everything it should....smiling for you right now |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
'Becca, wondeful, and as you know, I can relate to the 'low self-esteem' part. Great first free verse poem, you did it and said it all so wonderfully! *hugs* Just be glad I'm not your child! *evil grin* |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Simply beautiful. Beauty is simplicity and your writing brings this out. Besides the poem, I'm very happy you've heard the words that affirm your prayers. |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
What a gift you have given in this heart filled poem. Very touching There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead. Drive it like you stole it. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I almost feel like taking a bow...you've all made me so happy! Thanks...oops I guess that should be a curtsie... Thank you! Ruth I don't know about giving this one, though I did frame the other one for him. I will think about that! Thank you all you're wondeful! <*\\\>< When you can't make up your mind Which way is right for you, Stop and softly ask yourself, What Would Jesus Do? |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Bang-Up job! Bow or curtsie, doesn't matter!  We should be thanking YOU! |
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Alias Junior Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 30 |
Encore! great poem WhtDove, your poetry about your husband is brilliant... |
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Evad Junior Member
since 2000-02-08
Posts 12 |
WhtDove: Most excellent! The free-flowing effortless display of words is most touching. It plucked a heart string. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I enjoy reading the feelings from your heart spoken in such sincerity. I share your joy that your husband has seen your beauty and offers you his admiration and appreciation. Very lovely. James |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Rebecca - now aren't you just a hoot? Low self esteem? I would never in a lifetime have guessed that you have reason for low self esteem. You are so talented, and you have your priorities so straight - how could you not be perfect in all the ways that mean anything at all? Have you been reading those %*&^$#*-able women's magazines?? Only in there will you learn that you are too fat-too thin, too weak-too strong, too young-too old, too sensitive-too much a b***c, too good-too mean, too... well, you get the idea. Ask anybody in here who has read your words of poetry and encouragement, and they will tell you this, "Rebecca, you are TOO MUCH!!!!" We all see you, and we all rejoice that your husband has found the words he likely struggled to find his whole life - he loves you. He reminds of Toby Keith's song, "Me, too." Toerag, I think the Mamas and Papas sang it, too! lol |
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