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First__Knight
Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678


0 posted 2000-01-08 10:06 PM



My Mothers Promise
~First Knight~


The birds sang today
and I wonder if you heard,
Or even if you thought of me,
and will keep your word.

I never asked for much,
or even really could.
How could I have know,
if you understood.

You hide from me each day,
and even in the night.
You smiled once or twice,
but did that make it right?

My heart is often weeping,
and bleeds out on the ground.
My love runs out and over,
Hear its crying sound?

Love I have to much,
more than just my share,
I wonder if in time,
it will still be there.

I can still remember,
what you said to me,
"Son I will be back,
Just you wait and see."

Thirty-one years have passed
and not one single sign.
Mother I don't get it,
"Can't you see it's time?"
< !signature-->

 Being in love with someone is more than just saying "I love you"






[This message has been edited by First__Knight (edited 01-12-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 First__Knight - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2000-01-08 10:20 PM


Bless you for this sweet endeavour.
I can feel your hurt, First_Knight.

Sometimes, just sometimes ...
things are better left unsaid.
~Marge~

Eloise
Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096
Wyoming
2 posted 2000-01-08 10:29 PM


I just want to reach out and give you a big hug First Knight.  Very heart wrenching poem for a mother to read.  
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 2000-01-08 10:32 PM


Easy to feel the emotion in this one, Knight. Good work here.
First__Knight
Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678

4 posted 2000-01-08 10:35 PM


Thank you so much Marge...I have not seen you in a while.  Miss your work  

Eloise- Thank you I could use it...Have not felt like myself the last few days

Balladeer-Thank you very much< !signature-->

 Being in love with someone is more than just saying "I love you"




[This message has been edited by First__Knight (edited 01-08-2000).]

whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
Australia
5 posted 2000-01-08 10:38 PM


I feel for you First Knight such a sad poem  

Hugs

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
6 posted 2000-01-09 08:55 AM


David,
    I wanted to wait till today to reply to this one when I had more time. It really made me sad   I know how you are hurting and I wish I could just reach out and hug you. I know you're sad, I know right now things haven't been the best, but they will get better and you have a pair of adopted parents that love you dearly. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers right now.
Hugs,
Ruth

First__Knight
Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678

7 posted 2000-01-10 12:00 PM


Thank you Whiskey.

Ruth-Your word bring comfort in the darkess days...and your hug would be welcome and needed

 Being in love with someone is more than just saying "I love you"



devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
8 posted 2000-01-10 06:49 AM


I feel your pain at reading this, it's so devestating when you want to have that one sign so badly that you get so confused.  My heart goes out to you, I hope things get better soon....HUGS*

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
9 posted 2000-01-10 07:05 AM


First Knight
I recently saw a man inteviewed who had visited prisons throughout the world, and interviewed those who had been tortured, because he wondered why some came out of the experience well adjusted and others didn't.
Among those who did not fare well, he found that their greatest suffering was not the beatings, the torture, the lack of freedom, the solitary confinement, the poor food, the health problems, or the psycological torture. The greates pain was that no one cared if this was happening to them. The bottom line was that rejection is the most painful kind of suffering, and I believe that is true. And knowing this has helped me put certain things into perspective for myself. Sometimes it's not the person, but the rejection itself that hurts. Perhaps you don't know the why of it all. It would help to know that. I am sorry for your pain
Liz

First__Knight
Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678

10 posted 2000-01-10 10:17 PM


Thank you so much Divina,

Liz your words and understanding bring comfort and perspective

 Being in love with someone is more than just saying "I love you"



Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

11 posted 2000-01-10 11:06 PM


First Knight, I'm very sorry for your heartwrenching experience. It must be devastating to go through life feeling that you have been abandoned by your mother. I can't even imagine it. Perhaps this will help...perhaps when she had to give you up she had every intention of changing things,making things right (whatever the situation was) and perhaps in her own view she failed and felt that she wasn't worthy to come back to claim you. Perhaps in her mind she felt that you would be better off with your adoptive parents than you would have been with her. Perhaps the depth of her pain in missing you is as deep as the pain you have in missing her. Just possibilities that may give you a broader perspective on this gutwrenching situation. Perhaps her heart is bleeding, too. Perhaps she is afraid you wouldn't want her to come back after all this time. Do you have any way to track her down? Getting some answers would certainly go along way in helping you to heal. I'll keep you in my prayers, David.

 Denise


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2000-01-11 01:43 AM


Feeling for you too First Knight and hoping for a brighter day ahead.  What Denise said makes sense to me.  Hugs.

 In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)

Marta
Junior Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 18

13 posted 2000-01-11 06:28 AM


I understand how you feel; my step-daughter was abandoned by her mother when she was nine. It gave her a deep feeling of insecurity, a terrible fear of rejection in her other relationships. She was fortunate to meet some good people along the way and also, a good husband.  The love of her husband made her heal and now she has established contact with her mom. Little by little, old wounds will no longer hurt.
I hope this helps.  Very nice poem; we are just a click away.

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
14 posted 2000-01-11 08:28 PM


Knight:  Like Ruth, wish I could hug you..

HUGS

 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.


Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
15 posted 2000-01-11 11:50 PM


First_Knight-My heart goes out to you and hugs too.  A sad poem.
First__Knight
Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678

16 posted 2000-01-12 06:18 AM


Thank you all for you gentle words of caring  

 Drive it like you stole it...LOL


Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
17 posted 2000-01-12 07:06 AM


Wow...This is powerful and sad.  Indeed, it's time.  Very moving piece.

Michael

First__Knight
Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678

18 posted 2000-01-16 11:17 PM


Thank you very much Michael  
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
19 posted 2000-01-16 11:20 PM


Wow, hurtful it is when one loses a parent! Great writing of the emotions here!

 <*\\\><
Where there is faith,
there is love.
Where there is love,
there is peace.
Where there is peace,
there is GOD.
Where there is GOD,
there is no need.

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