navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #5 » Weird
Open Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Weird Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Helpless
New Member
since 1999-12-29
Posts 5


0 posted 1999-12-29 09:39 PM


             Weird
"Weird" the words muttered out of a mouth;
Whispers they say you can't hear,
But really you hear with each ear;
You think try something new will they really care?
But then they judge you by the look of your hair,
They stare and stare,
You cry and wish they didn't care;
Now I lay and cry myself to sleep,
And none cares if I weep;
I stand and look at the moon,
Wishing I would go there soon;
People point and laugh I feel less and not sure of my looks,
I hide in my books;
Hoping none will see,
And make fun of me;
The teasing and tormenting hurts,
Man I feel like dirt;
"It looks fine" they reply,
Then i begin to cry;
Self-worth i have none,
I wish I could run;
Don't hide from your fears,
"Im not" I said in tears;
Be happy not sad,
You really don't look that bad;
A brothers touch,
Helps so much;
I wish he would come to school with me,
A gentle kiss on the cheek,
Maybe I can get through the week;
There to comfort,
There to care,
He doesn't care about my hair;
I love him more then you will know,
And this love will always grow;
He says "Anymore trouble I will beat them up."
I say k I'll see what is up,
He is there through out the tough,
I know the road ahead is rough;
A month isn't that bad,
But I still feel sad;
Big bro thanks for all you do,
How can I repay you?;
You've done so much,                      
With your gentle touch;
Brian this poem is some for you,
And for others too;
A lesson to be learned,
Now it is your turn;
Help someone that needs it,
Help them so they can beat it!!!

**A gentle touch helps soooo much!!!**
  


[This message has been edited by Helpless (edited 12-31-1999).]

© Copyright 1999 Helpless - All Rights Reserved
Astraea
Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now
1 posted 1999-12-29 09:41 PM


Very nice.  I wish I had a brother like that.  Welcome to Passions.  It's a lovely poem.

~Astraea

 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."


Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

2 posted 1999-12-29 09:49 PM


Welcome to Passions, Helpless! Brothers are wonderful, aren't they?!  

 Denise



Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
3 posted 1999-12-29 09:53 PM


Oh, I was once there - peers in school are more deeply cruel, I think, than anyone else in the rest of your life.  I suffered more at the hand of my classmates, as a young girl, than I ever have since, at the hands of anyone.  Try to remember that better times are coming, for sure.  And I too, am grateful for your loving brother!  I wish I had had one!

It's a wonderful thing that you are writing - painting feelings with words on the canvas of the mind is such a healing and creative thing!



 ...Living is ever like crossing rivers; finding a new life on each shore ... RJG

Eloise
Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096
Wyoming
4 posted 1999-12-29 09:54 PM


Welcome to Passions, Helpless. Brothers are great. Sounds like he's in your corner.  
winterinblue
Junior Member
since 1999-12-29
Posts 32

6 posted 1999-12-29 10:38 PM


Keep writing, my friend, keep writing.  (Lower case is better on the net, so people won't think you're shouting, unless you ARE shouting, and in your case, you have every right to!!)

I will be watching for more of your work, and hope to see you share some more with us!




 "Through everything, remain your own good friend; and so crucially, paint it all with words!"

whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
Australia
7 posted 1999-12-29 11:05 PM


Great poem , Brother's can be great nice thankyou to him, Welcome  

(fix some spelling, not meaning to pick)


Paul Hoekman
Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>
9 posted 1999-12-30 12:04 PM


  Wow you brought me back to those awkward days in High School which we all go through,
My brother and I were also close.
             No offense,
                 Maybe a hat,
                      Paul

Songbird
Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184
Missouri
10 posted 1999-12-30 12:23 PM


Hi, I would like to say that I enjoyed your poem, and let you in on a secret. Highschool years are the good and the bad and the ugly. One of the good things about them is that they pass, the bad thing about them is the cast system that everyone is a part of, which can give you some ugly memories. Of course it isn't all bad, there will be special memories that will always be with you. I always enjoy going back to Highschool reunions seeing how some of the most popular and esteemed people turned out and most of all spending time with the underdogs who had to work harder but basically turned out more balanced than the rest. God bless you, and have a wonderful new year.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
11 posted 1999-12-30 01:38 AM


Welcome to passions  

One suggestion...lose the caps. On the net caps are used for shouting. Don't shout out your poetry, let it shout for itself through the words you write  

Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
12 posted 1999-12-30 06:34 AM


Welcome to passions, this is a great poem, but I must agre with the others, drop the caps

 ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #5 » Weird

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary