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Passions in Poetry

Kids Hall Of Farts or Your Kid's Funniest Moment!

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Mysteria
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0 posted 10-14-2001 06:58 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Below is a link to Serenity's latest poem about a funny incident with her son.  Let's all put down our children's funniest moments to share with each other.  Let's face it we can all do with some laughs right about now.  Here is the link to Karen's son's "moment of fame".
http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum51/HTML/001411.html#14

SEA
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1 posted 10-14-2001 07:34 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

(thank God my mom does not come here.....the things she would tell you about me)

my son has been such a blessing in my life....he is wonderful.

When he was one, I got together with Jon. Our very first weekend together, I took TC with me. Well,on the way home I had bought him some cookies, for the ride home( I lived 3 hours away from Jon in the begining ) so we are almost back to my house, when in the back seat I hear him gagging (he had recently found his gag reflex and LOVED to feel it) I checked and knew he was sticking his fingers in his throat and was like knock it off T!! Jon freaked out and was pulling over in the mean time, not knowing about the gag reflex thing....he thought I was a monster mom at first....I was laughing so hard at him for looking at me like he was, I could barely laugh the words out. Then when it dawned on him and he remembered his daughters doing the same thing, he started laughing too. For a minute there though, can you imagine what he must have been thinking about me?! Too funny......T just laughed and did it again, making that loud gag sound then laugh like hell.....what is that?! My nephews did it too....   yuck LOL
Mysteria
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2 posted 10-14-2001 08:12 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

My favorite one of all was catching my son in Safeway with his friend buying a small box of White Owl cigars at age 9.  I took both he and his friend home, phoned his friend's Mom and told her what I was going to do, and made them both smoke the whole box of those cigars.  I told them any time they wanted to smoke it was okay they didn't have to sneak, just ask, but to do it at home!  My son and Brad do not smoke to this day.  Those two kids puked their insides out, and missed school the next day, but the lesson was worth it!  We still laugh about this one today, all of us.

Titia Geertman
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3 posted 10-14-2001 08:41 PM       View Profile for Titia Geertman   Email Titia Geertman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Titia Geertman's Home Page   View IP for Titia Geertman

You have your Santa at Christmas, we have our Sinterklaas at the 5th of december.
We kept our kids believing in him as long as we could, but thought it best to tell the thruth to Iske May at age 7, before she would hear at school that he was a 'fake'.

"Oh", she said, "I knew that for a long time already". And to my question why she didn't tell us, she replied: " Well you see, I felt so sorry for you, for you both seemed to enjoy it so much and I wouldn't spoil that"

So for two years she had played the game along, pretending to believe, because she thought we would be disappointed.

And my youngest, Lynn Karijn, was three years old when I got my hair done at the hairdressers at the other side of the village we lived in. She got bored and wanted to go home. I told her No, she was too little to cross the village by herself.
I gave her permission to cross the street to visit an old neighbour and wait for me there.
When I went there to pick her up, she hadn't shown up at all. I rushed home and there she was and all she said was: "See, I told you I could do it".

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

Nan
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4 posted 10-14-2001 09:16 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Cassandra was still 4 - One night she was sitting on the couch when she suddenly shuddered from head to toe, and complained that her nose was in terrible pain.  I looked, saw nothing out of the ordinary, had her blow her nose to assure myself that her air passages were clear, and thought all was well...

After another couple of minutes she continued to complain that her nose REALLY hurt... She's not one to complain, so it made no sense... until something BRIGHT GREEN began to ooze from her left nostril.... YIKES.. There had to be SOMETHING in there - but I couldn't see it - So I tried the blowing thing again - but this time I blocked her right nostril to give her more blowing power.  

Well guess what - We suddenly saw a green JELLY BEAN do a projectile trajectory right across the room.... EEEEEWWWWWWW.. Poor kid - She had that thing so far up her nose, it was out of visible sight.  That had to hurt!!

So now, the two of us have a song we sing together regularly - "Nani said not to put beans in your nose... Beans in your nose... BEANS in your nose..."

Except now that she's six, we've added another verse this week - when she got her fingers stuck in the holes of my wrought iron table... We greased up her little fingers and finally maneuvered them out... She wriggled free when I told her we were going to look really silly walking into the hospital with a table hanging off of her hand... "Nani said not to put beans in your nose... fingers in the table... (next verse pending)...   
serenity blaze
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5 posted 10-14-2001 09:47 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

There are so many, but here is one that involves my son before he was even born.
I was pretty sure I was carrying a boy but was convinced the day of the ultrasound. Not because I knew what I was looking at either.
As the picture developed on the screen, my boyfriend (who boasts , shall we say, a "noble" nose) proclaimed excitedly, "It's got my nose!!!" To which the nurse dryly replied, "Honey, that's NOT his nose!"  
SEA
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6 posted 10-14-2001 10:26 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

hey Nan.....I did red battleship pieces up my nose to make it look like I had a bloody nose.... I never heard my mom so bad before that (I was 5 or 6 )  
Elizabeth Santos
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7 posted 10-15-2001 12:12 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

I've got a story to beat them all. I may have already told this one about my son, Mark, when he was 5 years old.With 4 little ones, the two older boys had to be self sufficient. They got their own bath, and I always said, if you're late for school and don't have time for a bath, at least change your underwear every day. Well, I had the bad habit of leaving duster spray and dust rags on the stairwell with the intention of taking them up next time I climbed the stairs.So one day Mark didn't have time for a bath, and being too lazy to go upstairs and get clean underwear, he put on an old dust rag. I was totally unaware until that night when I got him ready for his bath. I almost fainted at the sight. It was an old pair of underwear, slit up both sides to the waistband, elastic around the legs torn away and hanging below the knees. It looked like a poorly fashioned loin cloth, covering very little and drenched with "Old English" furniture polish, and black dirt. I strongly reprimanded him, but he didn't see any problem with it. I said, somebody could have somehow seen it, if you had been in an accident or something. He assured me that nobody saw it.........except the doctor.
I said WHAT DOCTOR!!! That was the day of his first school physical. I didn't show my face around the school for a long time.
When my husband came home that night, I was still in tears. He picked up the dust rag out of the garbage can and laughed his head off. Guess I don't have a very good sense of humor
Liz
serenity blaze
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8 posted 10-15-2001 01:09 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

LOL@LIZ....and I swore I'd never ever try to play "one-up" with you, but I think this story is at least on a par.

My niece and my nephew...and this gets into delicate areas, BUT...my niece had arrived at puberty, along with that "monthly reminder." (Hoping everyone follows along here...   )

After a few months, "we" (my sister and I) noticed that she seemed to be going through an extraordinary amount of sanitary napkins.
So concerned, we asked if there was trouble. But she replied no, just that she thought WE had been using them. (NO.)  

The mystery was solved one laundry day, when I was removing the socks from nephew's shoes--there, in each tennis shoe? YEP. A Stayfresh Sanitary Napkin!

When questioned later? My eight year old nephew replied: "I thought they were ODOR EATERS!!!"

SpitFire
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9 posted 10-15-2001 09:54 AM       View Profile for SpitFire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SpitFire

~Seren,...when my brother was little he thought that people put them in the armpits of their shirts, as,...sweat absorbers?, or something. Yes, we found them there. Rofl at your story.
Mysteria
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10 posted 10-15-2001 03:30 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Okay you have not FORCED me to tell this story now.  This is a story of Willow's daughter (she was 7 or 8 at this time), and I shall phone her later and remind her LOL.  On her Daddy's birthday, she came home from school and went looking in drawers for balloons to surprise him with as he came home from work.  Rummaging around she found one (not a pretty color) but it would do, so she she kept looking in her Mom and Dad's bedroom for more of them.  She proceeded to sit there I guess and blow them all up, and tied them to the picket fence with string.  Well, when her Dad came home all the neighbours that had seen this where there to greet him in howling laughter, as she had blown up - yup - you guessed it - all the condoms she could find in the house!  Well I thought it was funny when she phoned and told me this story.

~I always have time to listen to someone talking from their heart~

Elizabeth Santos
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11 posted 10-15-2001 06:06 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Serenity HILARIOUS! You got me beat!THat's a great story. It kind of reminds me of when Christina was little and I had put a box of pads in my cart. She asked what they were for and when I shushed her, she kept asking  louder and louder, repeating the brand name. I got her back a few years later. Too embarrased to buy "the other kind", I had to go with her to the drug store and buy them for her. But while she was up at the counter among several customers, I called her name, threw the box up the aisle to her and said "Catch!", which she did, and stood there holding it with everyone looking on a little shocked.We laughed the whole day.

I liked the armpit idea. Very original mind

But Mysteria, I have to tell you, yours takes the cake!. I'm sitting here in tears laughing at both your stories! What a riot!
Kids do make life fun, but how embarrassed can you get? Condoms decorating your yard!

Thanks for sharing.
Liz
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12 posted 10-16-2001 11:43 AM       View Profile for Startime   Email Startime   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Startime's Home Page   View IP for Startime

*giggling* Okay after laughing so hard I kept forgetting what I was going to say I will try and add one about my youngest. When she was 2 we went camping. She saw sitting on the table a cup filled with yellow stuff. Being thirsty she picked it up and downed the whole thing. Yep, you guessed it, it was soap. I have always wondered if her taste buds were working. That cup was full to the top. LOL She was blowing bubbles all day and quite delighted with herself.
Charisma
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13 posted 10-20-2001 04:10 PM       View Profile for Charisma   Email Charisma   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Charisma's Home Page   View IP for Charisma

ohhhhhhhh my, stomach hurts from laughing what a stories. kids aren't they marvelous  

My son was about 4 and going to kindergarten, he had a lot of friends and the teacher saw him with some in the corner. She was curious as these children had a "I have something here" look. She heard my son saying to another one...I have a "tientje" this means 10 guildens in dutch.  his words frightened the teacher and she becomes mad at us his parents for such irresponseble conduct. She ask him: Jozua do you have a "Tientje" there....he smiled proudly at her and said....yes I have one miss.....she reached out her hand and said, please give it to me, so I will save that for you, till your mom comes to pick you up. And with a sad face my son reached his hand up to place a marble in her hand worth 10 points  ...... and yep kids calling that a "tientje" too. .....She was perplex and ashamed at the same time for her thoughts, but we had a good laugh hearing this story.
Isis
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14 posted 10-23-2001 10:56 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

*still laughing*  mine can't compete really.. but it got a good laugh at the time.

Dylan is in Grade 1 they are learning to count to 100.  Anything over is virtually unknown and 1000 is simple incomprehensible.

So as some of you would know they started out with 150 Poke'mon.  You can buy posters with all 150 named and numbered.
Dylan was counting them off to me..
eg. 101 Is Clefairy
    102 is Clefable etc.
We were going well until he got to 111 and 112.

112 was pronounced 'Eleveny-two!'  I laughed so much and rang my parents to share the funny with them, which miffed Dylan to the max.  He thought I was making fun of him!!

Isis
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15 posted 10-24-2001 10:56 AM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Well, I don't have any kids of my own, but there are two from others that come to mind.

One of my friends is a single father, who punished his very stubborn 3 year old with standing in the corner. When I was staying with him, I was given authority to send her to the corner if she broke house rules, which was often. One night, he and I were doing some outlet wiring on a difficult, thin wall. I said, 'We might be able to run it through the corner.' All of a sudden, his little girl starts crying and wailing, heading for....the corner. Pavlov would be proud.

The other memory deals with a little boy who liked to...um...sleep with the neighbor's daughter, who was a few days younger than he. This girl's perplexed mother called the son's mother about this..since they shouldn't have to deal with this so early...with 4 year olds. So the boy's mother stops him when he comes inside and tells him that sleeping on the ground with the neighbor's daughter is not good. He gets a thoughtful, serious expression on his face and agrees. He heads to his room and comes back shortly with a sleeping bag, and heads outside. His mother soon gets another phone call. Heh...bet my mom was hoping for another ten years before she needed to deal with that situation.  

Alicat, the persnikitty
SEA
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16 posted 10-24-2001 11:35 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

shame on you kitty kitty  
serenity blaze
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17 posted 10-26-2001 11:34 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

When my son turned 11, we took him out to dinner...not a very fancy place, but NICE...he looked so handsome in his suit and all grown up. His manners throughout were immaculate and I was just glowing with motherly pride. At the end of the evening, as is the custom of some restaurants, they brought him a personal birthday cake, with a single candle on it. My eyes welled up with tears of joy, as all the patrons smiled with me and sang "Happy Birthday" to my oh-so-grown up son. And then? In front of everyone? He proceeded to make a wish and blew out the candle---WITH HIS NOSE!!!

(I am only grateful it was not the cold and flu season...sigh...)
Mysteria
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18 posted 10-27-2001 02:56 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Yuck, yuck, yuck! Serenity, that was absolutely gross! Please, please don't tell me you ate that cake?  LMBO - Okay you win, you win that is one hilarious kid you have there.   I had some stories about Tori but they pale in comparison to these ones! Great fun!

~*~  Carpe' Diem  ~*~

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19 posted 10-30-2001 04:17 AM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Alicat, wonderful second story haha. I liked it a lot.

All the stories were a good laugh
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