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 On being told she was pregnant the blond
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Passions in Poetry

On being told she was pregnant the blonde lady said....

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RainbowGirl
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since 07-31-99
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0 posted 07-03-2000 06:15 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Ohhhhh, I do hope it's mine !!!

Sorry, I've been thinking about that one all day, don't blondes have it tough!!!
MagnoliaBlue
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since 05-12-2000
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1 posted 07-03-2000 06:51 PM       View Profile for MagnoliaBlue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MagnoliaBlue

ROTF....
They sure do!

MBlue  


~My Skipper Jim
I love you!
Your Lady June~
Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley


2 posted 07-03-2000 08:12 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

*sigh*.....it's the price we pay for being so wonderful!              
Severn
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since 07-17-99
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3 posted 07-04-2000 12:42 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

I have a terrible blonde joke that can never ever be posted...

sigh...

oh well...

lol!

This is good!

K
Nan
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4 posted 07-04-2000 08:14 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

...But it's soooo nice to be able to blame it on "having a blonde day"...
Elizabeth
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5 posted 07-04-2000 12:41 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
So she could see what was on the other side.

What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all walked into a bar. They noticed a mirror on the wall and asked the bartender what it was for. The bartender told them it was a magic mirror which would reward you if you told it the truth and suck you up if you told it a lie. So the brunette walked up to the mirror and said, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." The mirror gave her millions of dollars and a new house. Then the redhead went up to the mirror and said, "I think I'm the most intelligent woman in the world." The mirror gave her millions of dollars and a new car. And then, the blonde went up to the mirror and said, "I think-"

and the mirror sucked her up!!!!!!

hehehehehehe

Elizabeth


I'm grabbing my hat and coat
I'm leaving the cat a note
Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town!




[This message has been edited by Elizabeth (edited 07-06-2000).]
Jeffrey Carter
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6 posted 07-04-2000 05:03 PM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Ok, My turn LOL

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever     
Poet deVine
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7 posted 07-04-2000 05:12 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

What do you call a man with a golden retriever that he calls a 'smart blonde'? Alone!
Severn
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since 07-17-99
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8 posted 07-04-2000 06:43 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Raucous laughter from this corner of the world....

K
Ron
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9 posted 07-04-2000 08:40 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

Mmmm. I was always told blonde jokes were invented so brunettes could feel better about themselves...
JP
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10 posted 07-05-2000 02:27 PM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

It's funny that there are soooo many disparaging jokes about blondes, yet the best selling shade of hair coloring is blonde (do we derride that which we strive to attain?)



Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP

"Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway
RainbowGirl
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11 posted 07-05-2000 09:45 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Thanks for the smiles everyone..

Sharon I adored your reply...LOL

Ron: yep, sometimes that may well be true but it wasn't the fact that a blonde said it but the absurdity of it that made me laugh, regardless of hair colour..

Severn: Oh go on, I love jokes and sharing laughter...I often think I'm weird as I read something and laugh to myself and I promise it will only be shared with the world...

Damn, how come I can't see the replies??? and my memory just isn't so good these days, and that's not brunette, blonde or grey, it's flipping age..

HUGS all
Jeffrey Carter
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12 posted 07-06-2000 01:00 AM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Is that what my problem has been all these years?

Guess I need to go to the salon and dye my dogs hair brunette!  

WhtDove
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13 posted 07-06-2000 10:34 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

LMAO! Elizabeth I hadn't heard that one before! What a way to start the day!


What do you call two blondes side by side?

A wind tunnel  
Elizabeth
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14 posted 07-06-2000 01:16 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Yeah, I like 'em too, WhtDove....

Elizabeth


I'm grabbing my hat and coat
I'm leaving the cat a note
Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town!

LoveBug
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15 posted 07-06-2000 09:09 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

LOL!!!

What do you call a blond with two brain cells? Pregnant!

There was a blond, a brunette, and a redhead running from the police. They ran down an alley and hid in potato sacks. The police came and tapped at the sack with the redhead. The redhead started to meow, so they thought it was a sack full of kittens. Then the police tapped at the sack with the brunette, and she barked, so the police thought it was full of puppies. They tapped at the sack with the blond, and she yelled "Potatoes! Potatoes!"

There was a blond, a redhead, and a brunette that had to go in front of a firing squad for crimes they had committed. The redhead was first. They asked her if she had any last words, and she said "LOOK! A TORNADO!!!"
Everyone turned around and looked, but there was no tornado. When they turned around, the redhead was gone. Then it was the brunette's turn. Her "last words" were "LOOK! A TIDAL WAVE!". Everyone turned to see the tidal wave, and there was no wave, of course. And so the brunette escaped. Then it was the blond's turn. When they asked if she had any last words, she yelled "FIRE!"


HEHEHEHHEHEHE!  

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea
Elizabeth
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16 posted 07-07-2000 01:06 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

ROFL at those, LoveBug!

Elizabeth

I'm grabbing my hat and coat
I'm leaving the cat a note
Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town!


Denise
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17 posted 07-07-2000 07:53 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Funny stuff!  

Denise
ESP
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18 posted 07-08-2000 04:29 AM       View Profile for ESP   Email ESP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ESP

LOL!!!
Thanks for the laugh, all!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie


"Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."
Severn
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19 posted 07-08-2000 06:04 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Honestly Cindy - there is no way I could...
it is terrible.

But I do have an acceptable one:

Ok, a blonde is walking blondily along, as they do, when she comes across a brunette walking along some railroad tracks, looking most absorbed as she counts to herself '21, 21, 21, 21, 21' in a sing song manner...and the blonde thinks 'oh wow, what fun...titter titter...teehee...' So she jumps behind the brunette and there they both are...'21, 21, 21, 21' etc. Now, as this is a joke, there must of course be a punchline, and here they are on railway tracks and lo and behold...'chugga chugga' my my - there's a train...the brunette carries on unconcernedly '21, 21, 21, 21' while the blonde is too busy realising she actually had a thought a minute ago to even notice. Well, at the last second the brunette throws herself out of harms away while the last we hear of our blonde is '21, 2...splat...'
The brunette dusts herself off, and steps calmly back on to the tracks and begins to chant anew: '22, 22, 22, 22...'




wayoutwalt
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20 posted 07-08-2000 06:09 AM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

rainbowgirl heheheh yu hi love em all shades of hue...severn toooooo funny oman
RainbowGirl
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21 posted 07-08-2000 06:50 AM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

ROFL...Talk about crying with laughter...   

Severn, I've never heard that one before...Love it.. ps:  Can you mail it to me?...*g*

OK, I'll have to see which other ones are on the clean side and post them..

Keep them coming cause I'm enjoying the laughs...

HUGS

WhtDove
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22 posted 07-09-2000 11:07 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

A blond woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Brandi again prays...  
God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck.

Once again, she prays...
"My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car.
My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself...
"Brandi, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."
RainbowGirl
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23 posted 07-09-2000 03:28 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Dovey: Loved it  

HUSG
WhtDove
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24 posted 07-10-2000 12:57 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

SGUH!  (back) at ya! get it? heheeheh
 
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