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Passions in Poetry

What can I say...Blondes are so much fun...hehehe

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Gossamerwings
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since 07-18-2000
Posts 210


0 posted 07-30-2000 03:03 PM       View Profile for Gossamerwings   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Gossamerwings

     One day a blonde, red-head, and a brunette were driving through the desert when all of a sudden their car broke down. They decided they would all walk to civilization. The red-head said, "I'm going to take water so if I get thirsty I can drink it." Then the brunette said, "I'm going to take some food so if I get hungry I can eat." And then the blonde said "I'm going to take the car door, so if I get hot, I can roll the window down!"
****************************
     A blonde was riding in the back of a pick-up truck when the truck went off the road and went into a pond. Some neighbors came out to see what happened and waited for the blonde to come out of the water. When she finally did, the neighbors asked her what took her so long. She replied, "I couldn't get the tail-gate unlocked."
*****************************
     A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
     Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said "No. A bet's a bet."
     So the redhead said "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
     The blonde replied "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
************************
     On a flight from New York to Paris, soon after take-off the pilot announces: "I'm sorry, but we have lost one of our engines. Subsequently, we will arive in Paris approximately half an hour late."
A few minutes later, he comes on again:
"Hate to disappoint you folks, but another engine is down. Don't panic - we've still got two going, but now we'll be about 2 hours late."
After another few minutes, he comes on again:
"Look, I am really sorry about this, but somehow we have lost our third engine. Still nothing serious to worry about, but we will be about five hours late to Paris."
After hearing this, the blonde turns to the guy sitting next to him and remarks,
"If we lose the other one, we'll be up here all night."
**************
      One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggled and replied, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
****************

      A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she'd like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she'd like to have it cut into: six or twelve.
"Oh, goodness, six please," said the blonde. "I don't think I could ever eat twelve!"

    



Gossamerwings ;)
Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


1 posted 07-30-2000 03:18 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Ode to Being Blonde
(An autobiographical account)

It matters not how smart you are
For if you are a blonde
Dead batteries in a new car
Will render senses gone.

Of course the doors are locked up tight
Forget remote control
The hood won't open, such a plight
To jump this jag and roll

Oh, such a quand'ry, what to do?
The dealer said to me ~
Did the thought occur to you
To op'n it with the key?

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


2 posted 07-30-2000 05:41 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

LMBO!  Some I've heard, and some I haven't.
Thanks for the giggles  
Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 04-08-2000
Posts 2424
State of constant confusion!


3 posted 07-31-2000 01:19 AM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

     Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of
     them decides to call 911:
      Blonde:   We need help. We're three blondes changing
                a light bulb.
      Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
      Blonde:   Yes.
      Operator: The power in the house in on?
      Blonde:   Of course.
      Operator: And the switch is on?
      Blonde:   Yes, yes.
      Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
      Blonde:   No, it's working fine.
      Operator: Then what's the problem?
      Blonde:   We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and
                we all fell and hurt ourselves.

**************************************************
Q:   What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
     A:   Last years hide and go seek winner.



[This message has been edited by Jeffrey Carter (edited 07-31-2000).]
Gossamerwings
Member
since 07-18-2000
Posts 210


4 posted 07-31-2000 02:39 AM       View Profile for Gossamerwings   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Gossamerwings

Thanks Jeffrey,I enjoyed the laughs!
      


Gossamerwings ;)
Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


5 posted 08-01-2000 04:47 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

...and of course there's the blonde who walked past the YMCA and said "Look! They spelled Macy's wrong!"

....or the blonde who sold her car for gas money!


....or the blonde who got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's!
 
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