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Critical Analysis #2
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huddersfield
Junior Member
since 2003-12-29
Posts 25
huddersfield, England

0 posted 2004-08-24 02:27 PM



Tangled thoughts,
Mish mashed in a puzzle
Compact so tight.
That, as hard as I try,
The solution seems to be
Drawn into the centre
By an iron grip,
That grasps with the strength
Of a thousand asps,
With a bite to match,
And a venom that intoxicates
The senses with a plethora of
Misjudgements, which guide my hand
In tasks to no avail…


Ive managed to write this so far, but i always seem to get stuck with how to end them... When i re read it over n over, it appears that it may not need anything more... maybe just editing a bit...

Any help please

Thanks in advance

Glynn


© Copyright 2004 Glynn Denniss - All Rights Reserved
epoet
Member
since 2000-05-11
Posts 291
grand rapid,MI, usa
1 posted 2004-09-09 09:43 AM


Nice job.  I like the descriptions alot.  good imagery.  I don't think this needs much more work.  
epoet
Member
since 2000-05-11
Posts 291
grand rapid,MI, usa
2 posted 2004-09-09 09:44 AM


Nice job.  I like the descriptions alot.  good imagery.  I don't think this needs much more work.  
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