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Open Poetry #4
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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704


0 posted 1999-11-21 07:59 PM


Music mine
swirls me
in my yesterday
and tomorrow now
lies mere a memory

...you are the
ghosted past...

lucid days
an ever-time
of lived caress
a twirl
of shaking shadows
from clouds long passed

cold sunlit warmth
field-caught in
harvest gold
scents the breath
in you
sweet lover lost

days to come
away far I face
for I whisper-waltz
the paths
of known dance
and sway there safe

my wrinkled feet
whirl not the
dusted floor but
grace a river's flow
and yester-breeze
paints light in
war-time eyes

so bright

...sweet lover lost
turn slow twirl with me...

KM 19.11.99

© Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 1999-11-21 08:41 PM


Oh, my! I wish I could write free verse like this! Excellent, Severn!

Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
2 posted 1999-11-21 08:46 PM


Exquisite!

------------------
A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
3 posted 1999-11-21 08:49 PM


Oh severn, this is wonderful

In graceful dance
I see you swirl
twirling
spinning
falling
once more
into loves sweet arms

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

4 posted 1999-11-21 11:43 PM


So lovely, Severn! Simply beautiful!

------------------
Denise


poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
5 posted 1999-11-22 01:08 AM


Exquisitely beautiful when you write through tears, my dear. You are certainly good at free verse, I agree...keep writing!

------------------
~~ Lift your head high - spread your "words" and fly - - poetFemmeFatale


DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

6 posted 1999-11-22 06:36 AM


Beautiful indeed my friend.

------------------
Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©
-------------------------------------------------------
"Either kill me or take me as I am,
because I'll be damned if I ever change..."

Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade
(Marquis de Sade)



Spring Heeled Jim
Junior Member
since 1999-11-22
Posts 19
Paris, Texas
7 posted 1999-11-22 06:49 AM


Gobsmacking

------------------
On tops all I need
I got rythm when I bleed

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

8 posted 1999-11-22 09:19 PM


By the way - this just isn't about me! Not only can I not dance at all but I am under 25!!! LOL.

PdV - goodness, what a lovely thing for you to say! I wish I could write structured verse!

Pepper - high praise from you my friend.

Ruth -
Love belongs
to more than dance
it wears the face
of honest twirls
and swirls a merry space
of trusting truth
spinning
falling
there I go
and will walk soon
when the dance
has slowed...
Thanks dear friend

Denise - Simply lovley words

pFF - ever a gracious reply. Thanks

Dream - my friend - good to 'hear' your voice.

SHJ - well, keep coming to netpoets and you'll find your mouth is always full!
LOL - thankyou!


mirjam
Member
since 1999-11-24
Posts 246
Auckland, New Zealand
9 posted 1999-11-27 07:54 PM


Wow severn what a poem! The vessel indeed -
your talent is a passion that comes straight
from your heart and soul and i absolutely
love the way your words twirl around each
other - although you may think dancing has
been lost here your poem dances - the words
dance, your heart still dances. I especially loved stanza 4 and 5 - "field caught in harvest gold" i mean severn those
words together - this poem touched me as all your poems do.

Ohme
Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816
Texas
10 posted 1999-11-27 09:00 PM


I wish I could do this. LOL Free verse is difficult for me.

------------------
Yesterday is history, tomorrow just a mystery. And if today is good to me how could I ask for more?

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
11 posted 1999-11-27 10:54 PM


I agree, Severn. Your style is very enviable. Very good work.
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
12 posted 1999-11-27 10:57 PM


Beautiful style, beautiful poem, exquisite really

------------------
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there IS to celebrate.
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)



Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

13 posted 1999-11-28 05:10 AM


Oh Wow!
Yet more blushings...
Mirjam - Go look at your own verse my talented friend!!!
Ohme - well, we all have our unique styles. Thanks!
Balladeer - you honour me.
Isis - high praise my friend, high praise.

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
14 posted 1999-11-28 11:58 AM


Severn: Absolutely beautiful...*sigh*

HUGS

------------------
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it...

Seaangel
Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 167
Auckland, New Zealand
15 posted 1999-11-28 05:37 PM


evoking the wartime nature of love, perhaps?
I keep seeing an image of two lovers dancing on a dusty floor in a circle of light. lovely.

caroline
Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm
16 posted 1999-11-28 06:09 PM


Severn, every time I think you've outdone yourself, you do it again

Truly an exquisite piece of writing.

------------------
It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain


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