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Teen Poetry #2
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begining
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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begining |
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NaTaLy Junior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 43brooklyn,ny,usa |
standing there on the mouth of a vast open road not daring to look back, i chuckle to myself not daring to look back, at the shadow of a young girl standing there all alone helpless, abandoned. the road ahead is icey and frigid but i lust for it with every aspect of my beeing, i lust for it. eager to begin my journey and i, stripped of all that once i valued, am armed with only a pair of eyes made of stone. nat<~~~~funny girl |
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| © Copyright 2000 nataly mor - All Rights Reserved | |||
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NaTaLy Junior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 43brooklyn,ny,usa |
alot of people have different opinions of this poem,i'd like to know wat u think |
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Rodeo Jones Junior Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 18San Jose, CA, USA |
I think that your poem is a little bit unstructured, but I don't think that's much of an issue. I really like the description in this poem, it's something I think all of us can relate to (if you disregard the "young girl" part). It's also very exact, and I think that's a very nice quality of the poem is well. The one thing I really didn't like about this poem is that you entered it in white and I had to hilite it to read it.  |
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Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
Save the little mispellings [only one or two, though], it's very clear and to the point. Me liked it very much. I can relate to it. Lovely. ~Astraea "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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April Resi Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 119Alabama |
I liked it! I think everyone can relate to it in their own way. It had a strange flow to it, but I liked it, maybe because of that.  shruggs I dunno...it was good though!April |
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April Resi Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 119Alabama |
I liked it! I think everyone can relate to it in their own way. It had a strange flow to it, but I liked it, maybe because of that. shruggs I dunno...it was good though!April ...in your eyes, I see my future in an instant, And there it goes, I think I found my best friend... |
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Star Fairy 2 Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260cerritos, california, usa |
This is someone everyone can relate to, ending an era in their life to begin a new one... or at least i can.. you expressed the emotions beautifully... good job! keep it up Don't Fall.. Rise in Love -------823------- |
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