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Teen Poetry #2
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Rodeo Jones
Junior Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 18
San Jose, CA, USA

0 posted 2000-01-01 11:38 PM


Sleep nagging at my eyelids
    Eluded once again by love's evanescence
Body craving what the mind forbids
    Momentary bouts of luminescence

Silent suffering from within my cerebrum
    Lonely with what cannot be defined
Obliquely spinning in my personal conundrum
    Glancing at a youth, that at one point shined

Today is drowning in plans for tomorrow
    Righteously spent on fated torment
Blindly passing in selfish sorrow
    Through the shrouds of adolescence I already resent

Who does share in my eternal dull pain
    Another failed lover, blinded by dust
From the brown barren fields which ne'er see rain
    Of the lightness of feeling, some call trust


© Copyright 2000 Rodeo Jones - All Rights Reserved
Rodeo Jones
Junior Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 18
San Jose, CA, USA
1 posted 2000-01-01 11:46 PM


Hey people.  I wrote this poem, and I'd really like some replies.  I posted a few poems on the open forum about a month ago and got about 1 reply.  I was not very happy about this.  But as you saw by the poem, my interests are not rooted strongly in any one thing, and I usually only write poetry when I feel really strongly about something.

Since I haven't posted on this forum before and missed the masssive introduction on forum #1, I'll just go ahead and introduce myself.  My name is Underdog (really!!!), and the nick Rodeo Jones comes from the band Sunny Day Real Estate.  I'm 16 and a San Jose Cali. resident of 6 months.  My poems usually confront the hopelessness of my volatile love life (nonexistent), or just all around depressing topics in general.  Oh, and on a more serious note, I like Provolone Cheese.

;-)

Reply Pleaaaase!!!!

Rodeo Jones

Astraea
Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now
2 posted 2000-01-02 01:07 AM


Sorry about the so few replies sometimes.  I promise to reply to anything that catches my attention.  And this definitely did.  For one, I can connect with it, it struck me inside.  And, overall, a very lovely work.  I look forward to more.

~Astraea

 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."


eagle
Junior Member
since 1999-10-20
Posts 39
singapore
3 posted 2000-01-02 03:12 AM


Yep, I agree with Astraea. Keep it coming.  
shell-grunge
Junior Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 17

4 posted 2000-01-02 08:41 PM


you rock!
i love the style. i love the expression. i interprited it in my own (not sure if it was supposed to appeal that way) way but yeah i can relate. very true

SO TRUE

your gifted
shell

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
5 posted 2000-01-02 09:19 PM


Exellent work!  I too can relate to this.  You have a good command on words and the form flows well.  You have talent, do keep it up! Sometimes it takes a while for the newbies here to get replies, as sad as that is.  But keep it up anyways!  Great job!  

 *Krista Knutson*

~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack,
Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare,
Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water,
Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha



Isabelle
Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176
Indiana
6 posted 2000-01-02 10:42 PM


This is a touching and very good poem. It caught my attention. Welcome to Passions and I hope to see more of your writing here.

Isabelle =)

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2000-01-02 11:55 PM


Welcome to Passions. Open is difficult to break into. There is a special option with the new software that alerts members of new posts. This helps very much. There are so many authors that it is difficult to read everyone. Once you read a poet and enjoy your work you look for them.

You are very talented and I am sure you will quickly gather a following. I enjoyed this piece. Well written.

Star Fairy 2
Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa
8 posted 2000-01-03 01:23 PM


This was very nice, keep up the good work!!!

 Don't Fall.. Rise in Love
-------823-------


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