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Passions in Poetry

Moon

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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


0 posted 08-13-99 12:11 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Severn

She paints

slow shifting shadows
my room: her canvas
White fingers probe
through glass

empathy in her strokes

'I am alone
in this huge sky,
circling,
no friendly stars

come close to visit me'

Could I embrace her
those vulnerable rays
I should fly to her,
return to motherly breast

.

She fades

to unsympathetic light
her humility
renewed with morning,
she sketched only by grace

of an arrogant sun

------------------
'Only the shallow know themselves.' Oscar Wilde.
© Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 06-30-99
Posts 443
USA


1 posted 08-13-99 12:24 AM       View Profile for Artur Hawkwing   Email Artur Hawkwing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artur Hawkwing

You know, I found this posted at the same time I replied to your comment. This one is nicely made as a fragment of one's mind, the artistic side, and I like how painting can be so colorful. Few have expressed the colorfulness as well as you. It's very shallow indeed, might I add, but with intricate designs of its own.

I really liked the lines:
       'I am alone
       in this huge sky,
       circling,
       no friendly stars'

It was a friendly reminder of every night as a little boy when I stayed awake to look out the window at the stars circling the sky.

Good one!
Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 06-30-99
Posts 443
USA


2 posted 08-13-99 12:30 AM       View Profile for Artur Hawkwing   Email Artur Hawkwing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artur Hawkwing

I looked at the title then forgot what it was about ~slaps forehead~... oh, so the moon's what's doing the painting, with the light entering the room and encasting shadows. I am so sorry for misinterpreting... ah, you are a clever one, Severn!

May this one last.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


3 posted 08-13-99 12:38 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Thanks again! (I'm saying that to you a lot aren't I?! That first reply - though inaccurate to the intended context (smile) - is actually a fresh way of looking at my poem - cheers!
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


4 posted 08-13-99 12:54 AM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Very beautiful, Severn, I enjoyed this.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"If I could be an angel, I'd make your every wish come true. But I am only human, just a woman lovin' you..." Trisha Yearwood
Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 06-30-99
Posts 443
USA


5 posted 08-13-99 02:34 AM       View Profile for Artur Hawkwing   Email Artur Hawkwing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artur Hawkwing

... and so quoth Severn, "is a fresh way of looking at my poem." And amen.

I could consider "thanks" a fresh approach - thank you very much.
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


6 posted 08-13-99 09:48 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Aaahh...what wonderfully beautiful imagery you have going on here! I read this several times to see all the beauty in it....exquisite, as is most all your work. (a sigh & smile)

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


7 posted 08-16-99 09:54 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

I just read these responses! Thanks Pff - your support brightens my day. And thankyou too, Alwye
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 1285
Honea Path, SC USA


8 posted 08-16-99 10:34 PM       View Profile for Tara Simms   Email Tara Simms   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tara Simms's Home Page   View IP for Tara Simms

never before have i seen the moon as an artist and it's light as the paint. thank you!
Haskins
Member
since 06-26-99
Posts 86
Dallas, TX


9 posted 08-16-99 10:39 PM       View Profile for Haskins   Email Haskins   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Haskins's Home Page   View IP for Haskins

A clever balancing act of the concrete and the abstract.

------------------
William Haskins AKA The Mad Monk
http://www.ionstorm.com/public/haskins/inner_sanctum.htm

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


10 posted 08-16-99 10:42 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Severn,
You certainly have a way with words.
It's one I will remember. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


11 posted 08-16-99 11:01 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Thanks! I have a grin from ear to ear. I never viewed my poetry as gifting anyone with anything before; I feel really humbled.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


12 posted 08-17-99 10:46 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Very lovely - extended metaphor, personification, lots of imagery packed into this poem - 'Tis a great one - Thumbs up!!
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


13 posted 08-18-99 01:27 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Nan - coming from a poet like you, that is high praise! Thanks.
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


14 posted 10-20-1999 02:58 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Wow...very insightful piece here K!
Hmmm...I wonder what else this applies too...remind me to ask you about this one!
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


15 posted 10-21-1999 02:02 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

OK - ask me!
 
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