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Moon
| Open Poetry #1 |
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Moon |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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She paints slow shifting shadows my room: her canvas White fingers probe through glass empathy in her strokes 'I am alone in this huge sky, circling, no friendly stars come close to visit me' Could I embrace her those vulnerable rays I should fly to her, return to motherly breast . She fades to unsympathetic light her humility renewed with morning, she sketched only by grace of an arrogant sun ------------------ 'Only the shallow know themselves.' Oscar Wilde. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
You know, I found this posted at the same time I replied to your comment. This one is nicely made as a fragment of one's mind, the artistic side, and I like how painting can be so colorful. Few have expressed the colorfulness as well as you. It's very shallow indeed, might I add, but with intricate designs of its own. I really liked the lines: 'I am alone in this huge sky, circling, no friendly stars' It was a friendly reminder of every night as a little boy when I stayed awake to look out the window at the stars circling the sky. Good one! |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
I looked at the title then forgot what it was about ~slaps forehead~... oh, so the moon's what's doing the painting, with the light entering the room and encasting shadows. I am so sorry for misinterpreting... ah, you are a clever one, Severn!  May this one last. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Thanks again! (I'm saying that to you a lot aren't I?! That first reply - though inaccurate to the intended context (smile) - is actually a fresh way of looking at my poem - cheers! |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Very beautiful, Severn, I enjoyed this. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* "If I could be an angel, I'd make your every wish come true. But I am only human, just a woman lovin' you..." Trisha Yearwood |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
... and so quoth Severn, "is a fresh way of looking at my poem." And amen. I could consider "thanks" a fresh approach - thank you very much. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Aaahh...what wonderfully beautiful imagery you have going on here! I read this several times to see all the beauty in it....exquisite, as is most all your work. (a sigh & smile) ------------------ - poet FemmeFatale "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I just read these responses! Thanks Pff - your support brightens my day. And thankyou too, Alwye |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
never before have i seen the moon as an artist and it's light as the paint. thank you! |
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Haskins Member
since 1999-06-26
Posts 85Dallas, TX |
A clever balancing act of the concrete and the abstract. ------------------ William Haskins AKA The Mad Monk http://www.ionstorm.com/public/haskins/inner_sanctum.htm |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Severn, You certainly have a way with words. It's one I will remember. Thank you for sharing it with us. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Thanks! I have a grin from ear to ear. I never viewed my poetry as gifting anyone with anything before; I feel really humbled. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Very lovely - extended metaphor, personification, lots of imagery packed into this poem - 'Tis a great one - Thumbs up!! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Nan - coming from a poet like you, that is high praise! Thanks. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Wow...very insightful piece here K! Hmmm...I wonder what else this applies too...remind me to ask you about this one!  |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
OK - ask me! |
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