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Passions in Poetry

Fan Mail - Followup - for Genea

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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


0 posted 08-07-99 09:01 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for LngJhnAg

Hello, Mr/Ms/(whatever) Genea,
Today is your lucky day/night/(no idea).
You've won a boat/car/TV set/(something grand),
All we need from you is your Magazine stamp.

Now, find the key/stamp/ruboff/(et al.)
And don't forget the hidden decal.
Please include one/two/(make it many)
Mag stamps. (You'll still not win a penny).

I know you've seen lots of other junk mail,
But this I promise you, without fail,
Though you haven't a snowball's chance to win,
I'll still write you again/again/(again).

Your friend,

Ed

attached note states...

Send Mr/Ms/(whatever) five more
Of these friendly letters before
We warn her she'd better subscribe
Or she won't be my friend for life.

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 08-07-99).]
© Copyright 1999 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


1 posted 08-07-99 09:22 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

All that fine print fails to say
That if you answer Ed today
Riches aren't gonna come your way
But magazines will
And all their bills
Hope these satisfy for thrills!
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


2 posted 08-07-99 09:30 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Dear Ms/Mr/(whatever) Suthern

This is ED, and I saw that and.... you can just kiss goodbye your 1 chance in 270,000,000.

Your friend(whatever).... Ed

lol - good response, lil Belle
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


3 posted 08-07-99 09:52 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Congratulations! You're a winner!
(If we should happen to pick your name)
So read this crap, be sure to enter,
That's how ya play the game.

Our clearinghouse has chosen you,
You are one of very few,
You may be our next millionaire,
Just paste those stamps "here and there."

While others promise riches,
And some offer cars and things,
With us we only guarantee,
These rotten magazines.

Five bucks here-ten bucks there,
Family Circle or Pho-togra-phy,
We'll send you a real fine gift,
One you'll never need!
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


4 posted 08-07-99 10:00 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

LJA: Just as you can kiss you money goodbye when you respond! LOL

Toerag: Great response!!! LOL. I can find enough excuses to ignore my chore list without stacks of magazines gathering dust! LOL.

One persistent telemarketer
Kept saying "but they're free!"
I said fine... in that case,
Send them to the library. *G*
tori
Senior Member
since 06-18-99
Posts 521
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA


5 posted 08-07-99 12:23 PM       View Profile for tori   Email tori   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tori's Home Page   View IP for tori

This reminds me also of the come get your prize!!!

Hello I'm Mr Withers
I've new's to make you smile
*You'll laugh till you cry*

I drew your name out of the hat
sit and read awhile
*that big dunce one in the sky*

It seems you are the winner.....
*said with devious glee*

Of a hot tub built for two
* blow up pool with hand mixer attached*

Just come see what we offer,
*Dung! Dung! Dung!*

and take the free prize home with you.
*he need's more room in trunk of his car*

Here's just a brief description of what you are to see
*one room shack leaning*

A wonderful house that over looks the hill's of west virginnie
*only four wheel drive's can make it through the clay*

This land is so beautiful
*If your blind as bat with bifocals*

It will take your breath away
*stench of stagnating swamp*

And all we ask of you, is to come see right away
*drive 8 hours for nothing, spend the day, bring check book listen to bull-shi_, bend over and smile!*

Anyone can apply
* we consider all idiots*

It will be worth the trip
* cause you aint seen anything like this mess*

Respond with no delay..
* its arrodeing off the mountain*

And noting lost for coming, you'll take the hot tub home today..
*holes and all. I'll still get a laugh*

Sincerely Mr Withers,
PS Hope to see you soon
* with that big dunce hat on*

Reply:
Hello there Mr Withers
So Glad you made my day
I can not wait to get there and I'll leave with no delay
The hot tub sounds delightful to wash my cares away
They've just foreclosed and taken my car I need a place to stay
I'm glad all is considered I've no credit left in sight
It really sounds so right, me and my six children
will come to stay the night
I seen on your advertisement
refreshments will be served
Will be there by dinner
go on with the Hors d'Oeuvers

Sinecrly,
Another Idiot



[This message has been edited by tori (edited 08-07-99).]
Genea
Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 325
USA


6 posted 08-07-99 11:37 PM       View Profile for Genea   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Genea

LngJhnAg,

I just walked in the door after attending a [yawn] boring dinner.....loved this that u wrote in response! Thanks for a great laugh!

~Genea

p.s. To everyone else......i got a kick out of ur responses as well. Thanks for taking time to add ur humor too!

~G
 
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