My heart has always been torn
for my will drives me to watch for all others.
Choices deemed by my heart as desired
have been decided,
though my heart is forsaken,
in favor of another.
Her feelings are and have always been
more important to me than my own.
Her love is given to a dark stranger
but one who I must not trespass, for it is he she loves.
Sadness I see yet happiness she preaches,
Happiness being the only thing I want for her,
even if her happiness is not found in my arms
Once again I cage my heart and draw back...
A stab to my heart once more brought by my own hand...
Cupid grabs my hand,
But in fear,
I let go so that I may save another
From love lost, yet not deserving.
Friends try to sway me from my unselfish foolishness
But forces far from my control
Push my wants behind
My heart cries for a long sought satisfaction
But I have long learned to throw a deaf ear
To my hearts love-hungry wailing.
Happiness in the hearts of all others but my own
Has been a curse put upon me.
In sadness I look into myself,
punishment enough tormentor.
Your decisions though seeming to be righteous,
Have left me empty from that which can make me whole...complete
Slowly I fade as Loneliness reaches from the darkness once again
to hold me in her cold arms...
I, her favorite captive.
[This message has been edited by guiltborn (edited 07-27-99).]