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Passions in Poetry

Still Dancing

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Kelly
Member
since 07-03-99
Posts 153


0 posted 07-05-99 03:09 PM       View Profile for Kelly   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Kelly

/

[This message has been edited by Kelly (edited 08-22-99).]
© Copyright 1999 Kelly - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


1 posted 07-05-99 05:56 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

A question we all ask at one time or another. Nice job.
r. baker33
Member
since 07-03-99
Posts 55
glen easton wv


2 posted 07-05-99 06:30 PM       View Profile for r. baker33   Email r. baker33   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit r. baker33's Home Page   View IP for r. baker33

Kelly liked your poem.I think we all "dance"
with decisions we make in our lives. Good
poem.

You wanted to read more about the living
creation. Look it up,and read on.


rbaker33
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


3 posted 07-05-99 06:30 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I really liked the idea on this one...always a day late and a dollar short about sums up my life...LOL
I think I would change the form a bit and a few words to:

I fight with natural instints.
Small battles I so often lose.
I wonder, did I change destiny
with decisions I came to choose.
All dressed up at the great party
and still dancing with my fate.
Did you hear the clock strike final?
Am I again too late?

Just an idea, but it seems to flow a bit more smoothly like this.
Overall, nice!
Craig
Senior Member
since 06-10-99
Posts 882


4 posted 07-05-99 07:23 PM       View Profile for Craig   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Craig

Kelly

I really liked this one just the way it is, it flowed well when I read it the first time and got better on subsequent readings.

Well done and keep up the good work
Kelly
Member
since 07-03-99
Posts 153


5 posted 07-06-99 03:59 AM       View Profile for Kelly   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kelly

Thank you all for you kind remarks.
I'm sure it's obvious that I know nothing about poetry. This is one of my first attempts at writing.
Thank you hoot owl for your help. It is appreciated. I know I can't write but I'm having a good time trying.
 
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