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Passions in Poetry

A young writers works...please respond

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Ashlie693
Junior Member
since 07-08-99
Posts 25


0 posted 09-18-99 07:21 PM       View Profile for Ashlie693   Email Ashlie693   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ashlie693

HELLO ALL. I AM 14 AND JUST WANTED TO SEE WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF MY WRITINGS...I MAY BE YOUNG BUT FROM WHAT U READ YOU WILL SEE I HAVE BEEN THOUGH A LOT!

Footsteps
Footsteps...
I hear them, the steps getting closer to my bedroom door.
I await those footsteps nearing my bed, the moment I will be with you again.
They are there, but I think only because of the longing in my heart
Your voice...
I wake up to hear you, calling out for me
You are telling me you love me
And that you will ease all of this pain you have caused
Your voice is there, but I think only because I loved those beautiful words of love you spoke to me.

Your smell...
Thoughts of you run through my mind, your scent tickles my nose, sitting alone in my room.
Your smell is here, but I think only because I long to be close enough to you to have that scent on my own body once again.

Your touch...
The only thing I no longer wake up to.
The only thing I cannot feel without you here.
The electricity that goes throughout my body when you touch me, can no longer be felt.
Your touch is no longer here, and I hope that someday I will be able to not have to imagine all these other things, and once again you will be in my arms.

Why I loved your eyes
You always wondered why I loved your eyes so much....
They sparkled like a starry night. The kind of night that you return to childhood just for a few moments, and wish on a star that the one you love, will be the one you love for all eternity.

They were bluer than the bluest ocean. The ocean that held as many secrets underneath as you do. So many unsolved mysteries...so much to wonder about.

They were your other mouth. The mouth that didnt speak with words, but just a gaze that seemed to last forever. It said much more than your lips would ever have to.

And that, my love, is why I loved your eyes so much.

It will NEVER happen to me!
"Sure he can come over,
He'll sneak through my window," I said
"No one will even notice."
I wish I had used my head
Did I get caught? No..
But I did pay a big fee
It wasnt the ten I payed for the beer
But..it was my virginity.

Its not as bad if your in love
But I didnt know the guy
That was something for my husband
Now I feel like I am going to die

I didnt think I was too drunk
I thought my friends would help me
But I did drink too much and they werent my real friends,
And now pregnant I may be.

Theres only a small chance,
But the fear in my heart is great
He told me I wanted it,
My friends said I said NO, they call it rape

I cant have a baby
For I am still one
But for now, I must act like an adult
Even though, I am so young

IT
IT is a liar. Trapping people of all ages into its cunning trap.

IT is a hammer. Breaking the hearts of our loved ones, who can only pray that we can someday see what they do.

IT is a crook. Robbing us of the right to make the right decisions, breaking apart familys, and taking our minds away.

IT is sly. Working its way slowly into our lives, until we center ourselves around it.

IT is among us. Every day, we see posters, magazine ads, signs, commercials, promoting it.

IT is EVIL. Only causing hurt and pain, only out to destroy.

IT is Alcohol.

Goodbye
Best Friends Forever
We always would say
Those words echo in my head
And I see where we are today

You neglected the trust
Broke the bond that we had
Made me feel second best
Unappreciated, and sad

I didnt want to accept it
That we were growing apart
Then one day it hit me
And it broke my heart

Never do we know
How the words we speak can hurt
The heartless words you spoke
Made me feel like worthless dirt

Will time heal this pain
I really dont know
But for know Id like to let you know
Im going to take it slow

I dont care to see you right now
Or talk on the phone
Maybe I need to see
What its like to face life alone

The trust here is gone
When will it return
Maybe never, I fear
But maybe this is how we learn

A piece of my heart is broken
And it needs time to mend
The only thing left to be said today
Is goodbye, my friend

Neverending Pain
How can you act as if nothings wrong?
We've been through so much, its been way too long
My heart is just SICK, of loving so much
And giving and giving,then loosing your touch
My mind cant forget, about all of our days
But it also can't forget, your neverending ways
You tell me you love me, you tell me you care
But then when you get "some", you suddenly aren't there
I never get mad, but sometimes I cry
I love you so much, but I cant understand WHY
Why do you have, this GRIP so tight around me
That I can't break looose, I can't get free
The look on your face,
Will have me coming back for years
Despite how you hurt me
And all of my tears

those are just a few..please respond!!!


© Copyright 1999 Ashlie693 - All Rights Reserved
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


1 posted 09-18-99 07:24 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

I feel the pain of your verse. You would receive more response were they posted individually, but the pain and nostalgia I feel compelled me to respond. Very nice work.

------------------
Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvilŠ

Paul Allen Lupien
Member
since 09-09-99
Posts 116
Ferndale,Mi.USA


2 posted 09-18-99 07:49 PM       View Profile for Paul Allen Lupien   Email Paul Allen Lupien   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paul Allen Lupien

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind what-so-ever,that you have the special gifts of a natural writer.Keep writing,keep reading,keep growing...never give up your gifts.They are too valuable.

Impressed,

PAL

------------------
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


3 posted 09-18-99 08:38 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Nice job, but watch how it flows, the rhythm of the verse, it should be lilting, almost like a song. But like said above, read, practise, experiment you will only get better, there is a gift there waiting to grow.

------------------
Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels.
~Isis~


Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


4 posted 09-18-99 08:56 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

Always hold these writings close to your heart, for they are your true beginning. Someday as I am sure a lot of the poets here do, you will read these verses and see how much you have grown.
Julie
Senior Member
since 08-20-99
Posts 742
Houston, TX


5 posted 09-18-99 11:11 PM       View Profile for Julie   Email Julie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Julie

I still have poetry I write from when
I was as young as ten. Keep Writing.
When the rest of the world doesn't
work, you will at least have this.

Move your eyes away from this man,
Still young...become all you can.
Don't waste your life on a broken heart,
give yourself a new start.

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
..."to thine own self be true."
>William Shakespeare


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