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Open Poetry #2
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Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston

0 posted 1999-09-13 02:58 AM


Life without love

Once there was a lady who lived just down my street
she was cold and very bitter to everyone she’d meet.
I used to wonder about her and what made her this way
until I mentioned her name to my grandmother one day.

Miss lily is a lost soul my grandma said to me
let me tell you about her story and perhaps then you will see.
Why she doesn’t speak to people and spends her time alone
why she never has a visitor to the house she calls a home.

When Miss Lily was years younger she was quite a pretty girl
with eyes of cornflower blue and a head of auburn curls.
When she would go out on the town the boys would stop and stare,
but there was only one man about whom Miss Lily cared.

He was the son of the local owner of tavern in our town
and though his mother was very sweet it was said she got around.
The townsfolk talked about her and the men she entertained
she had gotten herself in trouble and the rumors still remained.

Now miss lily’s father was a judge and quite an important man
and having his daughter marry wealthy was his only plan.
When he learned about her love affair with the boy across the tracks
he shipped her off to boarding school and wouldn’t bring her back.

For a year Miss Lily was away and the rumors flew around
had she spent too much time alone with the boy from cross the town?
Had her father sent her off to hide the fact she was with child?
When I asked grandma were the rumors true, she looked at me and smiled.

No Lucie the stories were a lie Miss Lily was my best friend
letters for him she sent to me and his to her I’d send.
Miss Lily was in love with him and he in love with her
and no one could have guessed the end or how it would occur.

When Lily came back from school that fall and met up with her beau
her father, he had followed them and Miss Lily didn’t know.
When he confronted them together soon pushes came to shove
her father shot him on the spot and killed Miss Lily’s love.

She never did recover her love just died with him
she closed herself up in that house and never loved again.
Her father went to prison for the deed that he had done
he wrote a letter telling her.. her lover was his son.

© Copyright 1999 Lucille Dobbins - All Rights Reserved
~one voice~
Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664
Billings, MT USA
1 posted 1999-09-13 03:38 AM


Lucie, this is an excellent story! You tell it so very well! The end is a little disturbing, but I still love how you constructed this piece! One more to add to my favorites!

------------------
~onevoice~

"Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior."


Billy
Junior Member
since 1999-09-05
Posts 25

2 posted 1999-09-13 03:41 AM


What a great poem. I loved the surprise ending.
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

3 posted 1999-09-13 03:45 AM


I'm glad that your writer's block is gone, my dear. This verse is just one reason why.

------------------
Pain is life, life is short, I will endure.
DreamEvil©



Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
4 posted 1999-09-13 04:32 AM


Very good piece!! Was sad, but good!!

Justbleu

------------------
"Never let anyone keep you from your dreams, follow your heart, be true to yourself, and if that special someone does to, go ahead, walk together side by side as one!!


[This message has been edited by Justbleu (edited 09-13-99).]

U K Hero
Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266
England
5 posted 1999-09-13 05:16 AM


You certainly deserve a comment here it brought a tear to my eye, well done…
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
6 posted 1999-09-13 05:42 AM


Oh, brother! Excellent yarn-spinning, Lucie.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
7 posted 1999-09-13 08:29 AM


What an interesting read!

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"The role of the writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anais Nin

Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
8 posted 1999-09-13 09:40 AM


I'm glad you all liked it.. geesh my mind is twisted..hahhahahahah
DBeth
Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 110
providence,ky.42450
9 posted 1999-09-13 12:31 PM


Excellent poem,and very nicely written.

DBeth

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roxane
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505
us
10 posted 1999-09-13 02:20 PM


WOW the ending is such a suprise. my eyes actually got wide. there are so many things to this poem. at first i think miss lily is unfortunate for having lost her love, then i see that she is just abashed by that fact that she was in love with her half brother. at first i see her father as a cruel, unloving man, then as a protector of some sort. this was soooooo great
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