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Loved to Death
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Loved to Death |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania 
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"Honey, do you know where my razor is?" "No, I don't, Dear. I haven't seen it." "What have I told you about keeping track of my things? Now get over here and find it before I come over there and slap that precious smile off your face." "But I have cookies in the oven." "I don't care about your cookies. I want my God-forsaken razor." "Just hold on a minute." "No!" "Have you been drinking again?" "That's none of your business." "Yes, it is. I'm your wife and I care about you very..." "No you don't. You don't care about me or the kids. All you care about is your career!" "You know that is not true. I work hard to keep this family together and you know it!" He raised his hand to me and slapped me across the face with all the force of a locomotive train. He punched me in the eye, giving me a pretty bad bruise. I went flailing to the floor. He raised one of his Doc Marten's and it came crashing into my side. I moaned in pain. The scariest part was not the fact that my husband of twelve years was hurting me so bad, it wasn't the first time. The worst part, by far, was the look in his eyes. He had a fire burning deep within them. Not a fire of love or passion, but a fire of hate dancing in those dark eyes. Then those cold, dark eyes turned warm once again, and his sweet smile returned. "Oh, baby, did I hurt you, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I hit you. Are you all right?" "Yes, I'm fine" But I wasn't, and I knew it. My side hurt bad. I knew he really hurt me this time and I think he did too. "Good. You know you can't tell anyone about this, right? They'll take you away from me, and they'll take Marc and Bri away from us, too. We'd never be able to see them. That's not what you want, is it?" I struggled to get back on my feet. My side ached, but I managed. "No, of course not. You guys are my life." "That's my girl. I'm going out with the guys. Be home by two." He walked out that door once again and it slammed behind it. Yes, the kids. At least they weren't here this time. Marc was at the park playing basketball and Brianna was at her tap lesson. I don't know how they would have handled seeing their father hurt their mother like that again. Just then, there was a knock at the door. I wiped away my remaining tears and answered it. Standing before me was my neighbor and best friend, Cynthia Jones. "Oh my God, Jules, did that monster hit you again?" she asked. "No, I was ummmm...standing on a chair trying to reach something in cabinet and fell, that's all." I quickly responded. "Jules, your five ten. You can reach anything in any one of your cabinets." "Yes, but he didn't mean it." I started crying hysterically and taking sharp breaths because of the pain in my side. "You need to get to the hospital" she insisted. "I'm fine. Come on, let go sit in the kitchen and talk." "Jules, is something burning? The smoke alarm is going off." "Oh no! My cookies!," I exclaimed. "Would those be your 'World Famous' chocolate chunk cookies?" she inquired. "They were chocolate chunk cookies. Now they look like charcoal chunks. They were supposed to be for the PTA bakesale tomorrow." Cindy and I were both active members in our children's PTA group. "Come on, I'll help you make more." "What time is it?" "8:15, why?" "Want to go for a ride? I have to pick up Bri from dance." "Sure" "Do me a favor first. Page Marc, 555-7045 so he knows I want him home. I don't like him at the park after dark." "Okay, ready to go now?" "Yup, let's get going" We got to Lil' Stars Tap Dance School and Bri was sitting on the stairs waiting for us. I ran up and gave her a hug just like always. "Daddy hit you again, didn't he?" she asked. "No, of course not, where did you get a silly idea like that. Mommy slipped off a chair." "No you didn't, Mommy. Please don't lie to me. I really don't like when people do that." She looked up at me with those side green eyes and I couldn't bare to lie to her. "Yes, but he didn't mean it. He's very sorry." She was so very smart for being just six years old. "You should go to the hopsital, Mommy." "Don't be silly, Dear. I'm fine. No need for the hospital. Let's go home." "Is daddy there?" "No" "Okay, let's go." "Hello, Mrs. Jones," she said when she entered the car. "Hi, sweetheart. How was tap?" Cindy asked her. "Great, we learned a new routine today!" she exclaimed. "Where's Bridgette?" "At home waiting. She wants you to sleep over if it's okay with your mom." "Oh, Please Mommy. It is Friday and there's no school tomorrow. I have all my homework done." she begged. "All right, as long as Mrs. Jones doesn't mind." "Of course not, don't be silly. Bri is an angel. I don't even know she's around half the time." By this time, we had arrived back at the house. "Go on and pack your things, and don't go to bed too late. You have your singing lesson at 8:00 sharp." "I know Mom." She got her stuff together and ran over to kiss me good-bye. "Do you have your toothbrush?" "Yes, Mom." "Do you have Curly Q?" "Yes" Curly Q was this scruffy old teddy bear she had since she was just a little thing. She slept with it every night or she would have terrible nightmares. She would never tell me about what, but I could imagine. "Okay, have a good night. I love you." "Love you to Mom. And please don't let daddy hurt you anymore" That brought a tear to my eye as I opened the front door to my house. When I walked in I saw Marc sitting in front of the television. "Did you do your homework young man?" "No, not yet. It's Friday, can't I please watch television? I'll do my homework Sunday." "I guess it's all right, as long as you're in bed by twelve." "Okay. Mom. Did Dad hit you again?" "Yes, but he didn't mean it." "I think I'll go upstairs and do my homework now." He ran off right after that. I don't blame him, really, even though I wanted him to stay and talk to me more than anything just to talk to me. It gets so lonely here at night and when Joel returns home later tonight he will be even more drunk, and that scares me. Nevertheless, I don't have anything better to do so I will just leave myself alone with my thoughts until he gets home. Maybe Joel's right. Maybe I do deserve it. Maybe if I were a good wife and kept track of his things like he tells me to, he wouldn't have to hurt me like he does. Maybe... Maybe I am too good for him. Maybe I don't deserve to be hurt like that and maybe he' just always was an alcoholic who you can't trust. But an alcoholic that I love. But what about Marc and Bri? Do they deserve to see their mother hurt like this? No. Maybe we should leave, just for a little while and let Joel see what life would be like without us. Maybe for once in my life I should stand up for what I care about. Yes. I decided the children and I needed a break from Joel. He never hit either one of them, but what's to stop him? I'm not about to sit around and let that happen. The pain in my side was getting worse so I went to the kitchen to get something for the pain. I went back and laid on my couch. Before I knew it I was dozing off... Bang! The abrupt slamming of our front door woke me up immediately. I don't think I ever completely 'sleep' anymore. Just kind of close my eyes and rest. Marc says he could drop a pin in his bedroom and it would wake me up. "I'm going upstairs and going to get some thleep. Don't bother me," Joel slurred as he stumbled through the door obviously sloshed. "We have to talk," I answered abruptly. "We don't gotta talk bout nothin." "Yes, we do. I'm taking the kids and going to my parents house just for a little while. Just until you can straighten yourself out. You scare me Joel, you really do. You're not the way you used to be." "What are you talking about? Have you gone crazy? You're not going anywhere. You're not leaving me and there is no way you are taking the kids. Do you understand that? Not a chance I'm going to let you tell the cops about this." "Cops? Who said anything about bringing the police into this? I just thought you needed some time to..." "Well, I don't!" "I think it's best if we leave for a little while. Not for good." "Don't you ever listen to anything I ever say?". That look was back in his eyes now as he once again brought his fist across my face harder than he ever had before. "Please don't do this Marc is right upstairs," I pleaded. I knew it was no use. He can't even here me when he's like that. He just went on slapping me around until finally I fell to the ground and he began to kick me. He kicked the same point in my side he had earlier and I was in the most pain I've been in in my entire life. It was almost unbearable but I wouldn't so much as scream, for Marc's sake. "You deserved it. You did this to yourself." And with that he was out the door. I couldn't bare to get up but as soon as Joel left I heard footsteps quickly coming down the stairs. It was Mark. "Mom, are you all right? Can you hear me?" he asked. I was semi-conscious and tried to answer but I don't know how much he understood. He ran to the kitchen and dialed 911. I was so very proud of him for being so calm. They said an ambulance was on their way. That's the last thing I remember. The last thing I remembered thinking was wondering what would happen to Marc and Bri. "Hello, my name is Marc Johnson. For four years of my life, from the age of eight to the age of twelve, I saw my father brutally abuse my mother. My mother was the most beautiful, outgoing and friendly person you could ever want to meet. She was an active member of our church's youth group and my school's PTA. She loved my sister and I unconditionally and never asked for anything in return. She never deserved to be hurt like that. My father never so much as laid a finger on my sister or I. Mom wouldn't let him. One night she finally decided she had had enough and when he returned home drunk from the bar, once again, she told him she was taking Brianna and I and leaving for a little while. My father wouldn't have that so he attacked her again. My mother, Julianna Marie Johnson died the next day at Orange Grove County Medical Center of internal bleeding. I watched him kill her. I called 911. I watched her die. My father spent three months in jail and was released on bail. Now I travel throughout the country speaking to groups such as yours warning people of the dangers of spousal abuse. It can be hard to see, take it from me but if you so much as suspect someone hurting someone that you love, please get help as soon as you can. You can save a life, I wish I had. Thank you." Facts: ~A woman is beaten every 15 seconds. ~Domestic Violence is the leading cause of injury to women ages 15 through 44 in the United States- more than car accidents, muggings, and rapings COMBINED. ~Battered women are more likely to suffer miscarriages and give birth to babies severely underweight. ~63% of young men between the ages of 11 and 20 who are serving time for homicide have killed their mother's abuser. ~In a recent study conducted by John Hopkins University, nearly 4 in 10 of the 3,400 women surveyed in Emergency Rooms say they have been either physically or emotionally abused. ~Women aren't the only victims. In 1985, 12% of men and 11.6% of women admitted to hitting, slapping, or kicking their partners. How You Can Help: Help the Victims ~Susie < !signature--> "Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?" ~Cinderella [This message has been edited by Angel (edited 08-12-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Susan Acacio - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
A good story, Susie.. very good. Well written, and the character Julianna was written very well. And your point is well taken, spousal abuse, and alcoholism is an ugly thing. Great message and story  Abrahm Simons "Keep on dreamin' boy 'cause when you stop dreaming it's time to die" - Blind Melon |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Perhaps I read it too slow, or saw too much in it, but you've struck a nerve, and now I have to go find a Kleenex. I pray this wasn't from your life... and if it was, you're in my prayers... |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Abe, Thanks I'm so glad you liked it . It took me forever.Sunshine, Awwww, I'm so happy it had an effect on you. But no, not at all out of my life, thank God, it's completely fictional. ~Susie "Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?" ~Cinderella |
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BreyerRose Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 55Easton, Pa USA |
You have just touched my life in ways you may never know. Tears in my eyes, Thank you for the reality. Hugs and Kisses, Paula |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
BreyerRose~ I'm glad the story touched you so much. I started off writing this story for a contest and decided to research some stats. I knew they were bad, but what I found was incredible. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks again. ~Susie "Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?" ~Cinderella |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Angel... wow. I read this not long after you posted it. I waited to reply, because I wanted to see how some time and a re-read would affect me. The sorrow was just as strong the second time. You managed to provoke powerful emotions here. Good job, that's what a writer does. Chris |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Chris, Thank you so much. There are some really great prose writers here, but you're my personal favorite. I love your stories so a compliment like this really amazed me. I'm so glad you liked it. ~Susie "Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?" ~Cinderella |
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StarrGazer Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679Texas |
tears in my eyes too... glad this was entirely fictional, but even after knowing that it still gets to me ... one of those stories you read and it haunts you I suppose, either way great writing !! |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Angel~~~wow good work!! as i read this poem i think back in my past of my family. and think why didnt i ever call the police, maybe i was scared of what would happen to me. but now i am sorry because what if someone would have died. thank you for sharing this story. ~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~ |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
StarrGazer, I'm glad you liked it. It took me forever to write . Thanks again.ERIN, I'm sorry to hear about your family situation. I never realized how big of a problem it really was. It can definitely be a scary situation. Thanks ~Susie "Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?" ~Cinderella |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Angel, this is such a powerful story that hit home with me in a way. I have a friend that is suffering abuse from her husband. She called me one night after he was put in jail and asked if I could come and help her pack her things so she could leave and go back to her home town. I was shocked to hear that this wasn't the first he'd hit her, and I was even more horrified to hear that she feared his Mom and Sister as well. She was terrified to be alone. So, I helped her pack everything we could fit in her truck, brought her to my house for a few days then she headed out on her long journey more than half way across the states. She was to call me when she arrived at her destination............. She showed up at my door almost two weeks later with her husband looking for her gas can she'd left behind. She needed to do yard work. That's ALL she had to say! I spoke with her later that day and she didn't have too much to say to me. I don't know if it was embarassment or fear. At any rate, I'm worried about her. Maybe I'll send her this poem along with the link that you've included. It just might stike the right nerve in her. Thank you so much for sharing...and I'm sorry I rambled for soooo long! I needed to vent I guess! And by the way....this was a very touching piece you've penned here!  ~Sheri |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Ouch this hurts... Angel (Susie), this is a very well written work... higlighting another menace in this human "cultured" society.... Thanks for the endeavour... and for sharing this piece... My regards, sudhir |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Irie, I'm sorry someone so close to you went through such a terrible experience  . I will always be more than happy to listen to you vent. Glad you enjoyed it .Sudhir, Thank you very much. It is a terrible thing, but the problem only seems to be getting worse instead of better. Thank you all again. ~Susie "Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?" ~Cinderella |
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One Who Understands Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 251Cedar Rapids, Iowa |
I think that it is wonderful that you have used your unfortunate past towards good. You have moved me so much. |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
One Who Understands, Thank you very much for your kind comment but this is, in fact, not part of my past. Totally fictional .~Susie "Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?" ~Cinderella |
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