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Untitled - Challenge Response
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Untitled - Challenge Response |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN 
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This was written rather quickly.. and my non-fiction writing is quite horrible.. but here as a response to Christopher's challenge is a quick summary of four of the most important years of my life It was a day four years ago that my life began to change, a day when the whole family combined in strength and I fled in weakness. I don’t even remember the day, all I remember was it was sunny outside. It may have been cold, it may have been warm but it was sunny. I was closeted in my room, sprawled upon my bed with a controller in my hand captivated by some electronic reverie when my dad knocked upon my door and called me out for a talk. Talk? My family doesn’t talk, I thought. It just isn’t natural, we all eat separately and live separately though we live under one roof. I followed my dad out of my room and into the dining room. A bright, cheery room with banks of windows on two sides, and a sliding glass door on the third. My brother, mom and dad were already sitting around the table. My mom and dad were sitting together and though the light was streaming in, I felt a knot settle in my stomach; something was wrong. I was right. My mom began to speak and the words I cannot remember but her message was clear. My mom had cancer. What? Mom is immortal. I heard wrong. Impossible. I was dazed. I remember my brother or I interrupting my mom and his yelling at us and starting to cry. All I can remember of my feelings is nothing. I didn’t feel anything, I tried to, but as I went back to my room and my game I didn’t feel anything. I was cold and dead on the inside but that was how I was before. I spent the next year in isolation, I lost nearly all my friends, though they were not true friends just people I would play games and do stuff with. I stayed in my room mostly and played video games and read books. I was cold all over, I still did not feel anything about anyone. I didn’t talk but hid within myself and behind a mask. It was a year after my initial isolation that my mom’s cancer was held in check and I met he who I call my first friend. A bold, outgoing young man with strong opinions to contrast my shyness. We had sleepovers almost every weekend. We played video games, watched movies, and held long in depth conversations on religion and plenty of other topics. Over the course of that second year I began to find confidence in myself. I grew stronger and found a voice and used it without fear. The last half of the third year brought the return of my mom’s cancer. It also brought me one of my truest and greatest friends. Many of you here know her as Alwye or her real name, Krista. We became fast friends and from her I learned strength of the heart. And she was the first one to warm this heart with real love. The relationship didn’t survive in the end, but the friendship did and survives to this day. My mom’s still in treatment for her cancer. It’s moved to her liver now as it was originally breast cancer. After four years my heart feels frozen, I have a group of friends who I really care for and who care for me, but my family doesn’t move me… what’s wrong with me? Abrahm Simons "You... You are so special You have the talent To make me feel like Dirt" - Alice in Chains, "Dirt" |
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| © Copyright 2000 Abrahm Simons - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
oohh Abe.. I'd heard something about that, but I wasn't sure exactly what it was that was happening... There is absolutely nothing wrong with you... You are Abe, and that's good enough for you to be a wonderful person. And a wonderful person is who you are. my prayers are with your family. ~hugs~ Cassie< !signature--> "Even a fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying." Harry Anderson, "Night Court" *Cassandra Roseen* [This message has been edited by Dawn Eclipse (edited 05-20-2000).] |
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Ardonida Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 76 |
Hi there, This piece touched me so deeply, and on a personal level. I myself suffer from cancer (if you read "My daughter") One thing I feel for is loosing close friends. I went thru depression and drinking. When I pulled myself together, I lost those friends. Now I have my child, and my husband, and hand picked friends, and just like you "warmed up" again. Be strong, and good health to yur family. _Life is your teacher. What you do with the knowladge your test. A. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Abe, there is nothing wrong with you. Our bodies and hearts retreat from accepting reality sometimes. Everyone does it. I admire your strength and your willingness to share this with us. I also admire you as a person. You are faithful here at Passions.. a gem...a rare young man with an equally rare heart. Give yourself a break...  |
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WolfsMate Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 121New York |
I've seen many families go through this. There is nothing wrong with you. It's called denial, and we all do it at one time or another. A sick or injuried parent is one of the hardest things to deal with or accept. These are the people we have depended on all our lives. My heart goes out to you , you're dealing with a terrible event in your life. {{{HUGS}}} "You never have to worry...Never fear for I am near" |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Oh Abe...it broke my heart to read this. And in the same instant I am honored to be named in this moving piece. You have such phenomenal strength, such love within your heart, and I am extremely lucky to have you as my friend. I will love you and cherish our friendship till the end of time. Keep that strength up and remember that you can come to me, no matter what befalls you. *Krista Knutson* ~We are only truly lost when we have lost ourselves~ |
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Ruby dagger Member
since 1999-08-01
Posts 76Wyoming, MN, U.S.A |
Abe, it breaks my heart all over again to read this. There is nothing wrong with you. I don't want you to think that there is. Anyone else in your place would be dong the same thing. I will always be there for you. Luv ya Kelly Love breaths when you're out of breath, Love sits by the bedside when you're near to death, and Love still feels it when the feelings gone, Love lives on and on. Love is the right place. -Bryan White |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Thank you all for replying  Cassie - Thank you for your support and your prayers, they are truly appreciated Adronida - Thank you for the well wishes and support Ms. DeVine - Divine words from the DeVine one.. Thank you so much WolfsMate - Thank you for the support Krista - What can I say? Thank you so much for your words. I don't know where my "phenomenal strength" would be without you and my other friends like Kelly and Cassie). My thanks goes out to you, my dearest friend. Kelly - Thank you for your words Thank you for being one of those to help me from the dark. < !signature-->Abrahm Simons "A dream unthreatened by the morning light Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night" - Pink Floyd, "Learning To Fly" [This message has been edited by Dusk Treader (edited 05-21-2000).] |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
I find myself doing the same, turning to friends rather than family. My reason is that with family I feel I have to be strong for them with friend I can be myself. Friends are an important part of life and when we have ones such as yours it's a blessing. From the sounds of your writing....you already knew this though  |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Well for someone who claims not to write non-fiction well Abe, you were sure able to show emotion with this. I applaud the strengtth you see as a weakness and am thankful for the friends you've found. Keep them. Chris |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Abe, When I read this my first thought to your question was, Denial. But then when I read it again, I saw the word "family", not just your Mom. So, I'm not sure what to think. I feel for you and I'm glad that you have friends to turn to in the time of need. As Chris says, "Keep them" I pray that your heart will melt and that you can find closeness to your family. Best wishes to you Abe. And if you need yet another friend, I'm here! *Hugs* |
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lorilockheart Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 206Alabama |
I don't know what to say except that this is a touching story. You seem to do just fine on nonfiction. Remarkable actually. I have not spent much time in the prose dept. so far, but am looking forward to it. I am going to try my hand at it again. Thanks for your comments. Greatly appreciated! Lori ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance - I hope you dance. song by LeeAnn Womack ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
powerfull piece of writing here..you very effectivley covered a lot of time briefly but wrote well all the needed info and emotions. there is "nothing wrong" with you. we all have our own coping tool and defense mechanisms to help us deal with our pain, and our losses. you do the best you can with what you are given. I hope for happier times for you, and speaking from my own experiences... please dont waste what time you have with your mom...you will not want to look back and think of this time with regret. take care, jm Some things cannot be explained by verses that rhyme, They are not measured by the commitment of time. Some emotions run too deep to be described by words, Forgiveness and understanding-remain the most beautiful words ever heard. ~Janet Marie~ "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" ~Lao Tze Tao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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