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nothing from an empty heart doth come
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nothing from an empty heart doth come |
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Maya the Brokenhearted Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 66 |
The conversation between us halted as it had become stilted and pained with the birth pangs of your need. And I, yet unwilling to bend, smoothed it with a joke and a laugh, as you sat there in silence with a hint of a smile crossing your lips. Your coldness, born of love and need for me, leaves me shaken and fearful for the future. As your demands become stronger and greater, your loneliness more pronounced, my terror heightens into all encompassing panic as I realize what it is you want from me. And with the reality of the need, comes the reality of my inability to be the one you want, my inability to just toss my life to the wind so I can ride the waves of your love for me. Maybe I can't believe a love this deep, and unfailing, and self-sacrificing can be real? Maybe I can't give myself wholly to anyone? Maybe I am as shallow and unloving as I attempt to portray to the world. Only God knows who and what I am, and what my heart really holds. The phone rang, insistant and persistant, breaking my reverie into my intimate self as your voice fell clear and sweet on my ears. The pain so evident in your tone, as you asked me what was to become of us. As you asked, hesitatingly, what more could I have done to help you, to prove to you, to show you? And mine answered back, low and sad, nothing..nothing more..it was and is all me, all my fault. And as we said goodbye, perhaps for the last time, my heart fell dark and quiet and not a tear fell. Nothing was left in the aftermath of loving you, nothing but my empty heart. I had come full circle back to the starting point before us, and let you go, from duty, mercy or just fear..I'll never know, but I had finally set my Butterfly free. Shall we live to breathe again? Or simply just exsist in this limbo we dare to call life! ~Maya 2/20/00 |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Maya...whoa.....far too often have I been burned, as a myriad of scars will testify; although, in all truth, I identify more with the ex in this one, as I have always been one to give too much too soon....perhaps one day I will learn moderation, but until then, ever will I play with fire. Maya, I am indeed fortunate to have XAngel (Heather) as a friend...she's the one that directed me here, where I could find your latest. And I'm very glad she did. Very heartrending yet cold, filled with the vicious cycle of love not loved. And, as they do say, if you love, set your love free. If it returns, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, hunt the mother down... Alicat, the Persnikitty  |
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mbugua New Member
since 2000-05-02
Posts 6 |
i must say i am in total envy of anyone so willing to let something go when it may have worked out in the course of time. (i suppose sooner or later i shall grow up). i feel this may last with you longer than you expect. you have a talent. |
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Maya the Brokenhearted Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 66 |
Ali..I think I am the one to do the burning here! Thanks for your comments and nice to meet you...I have always read your poetry. And X is a good friend, sort of the alter to my ego if ya know what I mean?  mbug...it prolly will last..the dang butterfly was waiting for me. It never flew away like I told it to... thanks for the replies guys ~M |
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WolfsMate Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 121New York |
I've been in this situation a time or too. Well done piece. "You never have to worry...Never fear for I am near" |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
That story is one that so many of us have to bear, more than we should. but it helps to know that no matter what happens, we will always have friends to stand behind us. Great Job on your story. "Even a fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying." Harry Anderson, "Night Court" *Cassandra Roseen* |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Nice work Maya. A few spelling blemishes, but otherwise an excellent piece. Regards, Sudhir In any moment of decision, The best thing you can do is the right thing, The next-best thing is the wrong thing, And the worst thing you can do is nothing. - Theodore Roosevelt |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Sounds like nothing but raw honesty here. This was a very sad but powerful piece.I enjoyed it, but didn't enjoy thinking that this is the state of someone's life right now. Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau" |
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