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LoveBug
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since 2000-01-08
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0 posted 2000-01-16 05:28 PM



I see him walking. I am caught in, I have no choice. I hear his accented voice, so different and so beautiful. I watch his walk… and I see his eyes. Those beautiful eyes. I would give my heart, my mind, my soul... my life for just a glimpse from those eyes.  

But that will never be.

That voice is talking to someone else. He walks beside of her, instead of me. His eyes look into hers. Not mine. It eats me up inside, it kills my soul. No, I won’t do anything to them. He looks so happy. He is smiling at her, and she smiles back. She must have something special to have his love. To hear his voice. To have those eyes look into hers. I wonder what it is...

I wish I had it.

Oh God, now they are kissing. I can’t take it anymore. I leave.

I lie down, and pray for sleep. Only in my dreams does he look into my eyes. Only then does he hold MY hand, talk to ME, and kiss ME. Only then am I happy. I live for my dreams. But now, I can’t sleep. My mind is racing. I know I should be happy for him, and nothing else. And I am happy for him. I would never interfere with anything that gave him happiness. Hell, I’m happy that I get to see him, that I’ve even known him. I’m happy that I get to touch him, even if it’s an accident in a crowded hallway. I’m happy that I hear his voice, even if he isn’t talking to me. I’m even happy that I get to see those blue eyes, even if they aren’t looking into mine.

But still... I wish for more.

I wish that he would walk up to me, look into my eyes, take my hand, and say “I love you”... and not have to worry about waking up. I get on my knees and pray for this, as I do every night. And every night, I get a glimpse of life with him... but then I wake up. Maybe someday, my prayers will be answered...

Or maybe I just won’t wake up.


 "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world"

© Copyright 2000 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved
Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102
Texas
1 posted 2000-01-16 08:45 PM


I have said that last line to myslef too many times to count.

 "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot


Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-01-16 10:45 PM


And yet we wake yet again to another day of pain. This pain lets us know that we are alive and to live is to hope. To hope is to dream and to dream is to live; Tis a cycle.

You must be sure that what you are dreaming of is the reality of whom you seek and not your dream projected upon the face.

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
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since 2000-01-08
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3 posted 2000-01-17 02:23 PM


Yes, but the dream is just as disirable as the real thing.. if not more.

 "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world"

Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
4 posted 2000-01-19 04:17 AM


Agreed, and to quote a song:

"...although I would like a world of change,
it helps me to appreciate those nights and those dreams.
But my friend, I'd sacrifice all those nights
If I could make the earth and my dreams the same..."

Creed -Higher-

A song I've listened to over and over, as it's echoed me many a time in the past.

I empathize!< !signature-->

 "O human race, born to fly upward, wherefore at a little wind dost thou so fall?"
Dante Alighieri


[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 01-19-2000).]

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