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Critical Analysis #1
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Littlewings
Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 62


0 posted 1999-11-22 11:34 AM


In a dreamy sleep , I saw my love.
We kissed a thousand sweet kisses and a million delicate moments passed in seconds.
I woke up soon after the dream to find my room as itself , adorned in pink and quite normal.But he was not there. He was only a dream.
I m going to wait for him to call , drenched in love and enlightenment , because maybe he had the same dream.For one moment in my sleep he was more than my friend. And in that hazy dreamy moment , I was more than just Erin , for once.

But for now I will just have to keep dreaming.
and live for the rainy night.

© Copyright 1999 Littlewings - All Rights Reserved
roxane
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505
us
1 posted 1999-11-22 04:27 PM


erin- this is so good. i've been waiting for you to post. i really liked it. i hope that you'll get some good responses.
Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
2 posted 1999-11-22 05:21 PM


Erin, The unusual format and the repetition of the word "dream/ing/y" quite a lulling effect, and I loved the line "I was more than just Erin, for once" - so longing and wistful.

Above all though I liked the short last line which, after the long drawn out dreamy lines above, was unexpected and thought provoking - thank you.

Philip

[This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 11-22-1999).]

starboards
Member
since 1999-10-14
Posts 467
longwood, florida
3 posted 1999-11-23 10:32 PM


Erin,
I liked this poem because it was dreamy but in a "happy" way, i'm not used to that! great job! keep postin', ya hear???

------------------
"If you love something let it go...if it comes back to you it is yours...if it doesnt then it never was"

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