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Julisha66
New Member

since 1999-09-17

Posts 5
Clarkrange, Tennessee USA

0 posted 1999-10-13 08:45 PM

It seems like only yesterday that we were
blessed with our first born son.

As we look back in time through all the
memories and the photographs we have
collected we wonder, how could it happen so fast?

Our little boy is growing up.

We have proudly watched you through
many milestones, from your first words
to your first job. Through each milestone
we realize our little boy is growing up.

Graduation time is here and we are extremely
proud of your many accomplishments. For the first time we realize our little boy has grown up.

We love you and wish for you a very rewarding
life filled with love, happiness and success.
Enjoy your future!!!

please help I need to know if I should put this in my sons high school yearbook.

------------------
Julie Hayes

merlynh
Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 411
deer park, wa

1 posted 1999-10-13 10:52 PM

Yes. I think so I would if I was you it says alot about your son and has a good message of how you feel. Others should read it. But what do I know? I like to play around with writing but I've been doing it for a long while. This is pretty good.

But? I think I would reword some things like, "little boy." Try replacing it with:

Sixth line:
"Our little boy is growing up." With:

"You were going up."

Tenth line:
"we realize our little boy is growing up." With:
"we realize you were growing up"

Twelve line:
"proud of your many accomplishments. For the first time we realize our little boy has grown up." With:

"proud of your many accomplishments. For the first time we realize how proud we are of the man you have become."

Try this and see if it helps. A man doesn't like to be refered to as a little boy. Only when he was a little boy. Rewritten he will be proud of it always even when he's fifty. I know I would be. A few years of now I'll be that old.

Julisha66
New Member

since 1999-09-17

Posts 5
Clarkrange, Tennessee USA

2 posted 1999-10-14 01:03 AM

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and for helping me out with this.

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