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Critical Analysis #1
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Alain DeLaCendres
Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 119
Ohio

0 posted 1999-08-01 12:31 PM


Jim said once that it was like rain,
but I didn’t believe him.
I’m not sure why not,
I just didn’t.
But then Jim is one of those guys
that even his mother
would look out the window
if he told her that sun was up.
So I guess he’s just
a liar...

Or is he the only one
in the whole world
who tells the truth?

------------------
Tout s'en va, tout passe, l'eau coule, et le couer oublie.

© Copyright 1999 Alain DeLaCendres - All Rights Reserved
elvira
Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936
California
1 posted 1999-08-17 01:37 AM


i am not "qualified" to comment on free verse, but maybe someone else will give it a try?
did you mean "wouldn't look out the window" in line 7?

JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
2 posted 1999-08-17 05:21 PM


Short, sweet, and pignant (poignant? pissant? what IS that word anyway?)

BTW, Elvira, Line 7 was perfect.

------------------
Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP



Alain DeLaCendres
Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 119
Ohio
3 posted 1999-08-17 10:14 PM


Thank you both, and JP is right, line 7 is how I meant it to be..read it again elvira, maybe it'll make sense..or maybe I didn't convey my message good enough..Thanks.

------------------
Tout s'en va, tout passe, l'eau coule, et le couer oublie.

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