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Open Poetry #49
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Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050


0 posted 2015-03-01 04:04 PM


 photo 18_FamilyTree_zpsigvtdef6.jpg


The universe is just a thought trying
to make sense

All the matter that is gray
simply
wants to know

Every time it makes a star,
awareness
then evolves

A galaxy is, memory
swirling in the mind

People wonder why
we’re lost

When we don’t know
where
we are going

People say to go back
home

When we don’t know
where
that can be

The lingering of time can
make it
seem
like there is sequence

Sure the sun comes out
each day
but one day,
it will not

Entirety has always been
a pile
of ambiguity

The only thing that’s
even
is that everything is
odd

Nature is, unnatural
in
its purest form

There is not, a reason
to call anything,
a norm

I sit beneath the woods
and watch
the shadow of a branch

Slowly make its way
to me
and sit upon
my lap

It tells me when the tree
of life
is rid
of all its bark

That is where the normal
is,
soft
inside the dark

That is when that simple
thought
finally
gets it right

That is when totality,
finally
sees the light


© Copyright 2015 Richy - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2015-03-01 04:35 PM


quote:

It tells me when the tree
of life
is rid
of all its bark

That is where the normal
is,
soft
inside the dark



I disagree that the soft insides of that tree is normal. I believe the bark, hardened to withstand the seasons and the extreme weather is just as vital as that "inside the dark.

There were a couple of more things that I took exception to, but the poem was good, and I don't care to pile on.

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

2 posted 2015-03-01 04:43 PM



thanks for taking the time to come by and leave a comment Jerry its always appreciated..

"the tree of life"

represents life in its entirety.. when, ALL, is gone there will be nothing left but, dark

thanks again my friend

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
3 posted 2015-03-01 06:37 PM


Oh so good to find you still here this sunday.  I'm thinking, isn't the bark somewhat petrified, and doesn't it break away in small pieces?  I think that warm and familiar place is truly found in the dark and it is smooth and soft beneath the surface. The romantic in me likes to think it is from whence we came when love and life was new and our hearts were young. There is always so much to find underneath and tucked away in your poetry and it is warm and wonderful.  As always, you keep it real.
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
4 posted 2015-03-01 10:57 PM


For it is in dying that we truly live. We are spiritual beings having a human experience not human beings having a spiritual experience.
This poem really spoke to me. ~L

[This message has been edited by Lori Grosser Rhoden (03-02-2015 05:23 AM).]

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
5 posted 2015-03-02 10:58 PM


I enjoyed the metaphysical feel in this one.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

jjote
Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2015-03-05 08:58 AM


the purpose of life is death, and the purpose of death is life.

We toil while we live expecting the end some time, but when it's over, we hope to see another life beyond.

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

7 posted 2015-03-05 05:29 PM



Thanks so much everybody for all of your time and comments I really appreciate it.

You're the best  

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
8 posted 2015-03-06 03:45 AM


I really enjoyed this, thanks for sharing!

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe
                        — W. E. Channing

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

9 posted 2015-03-11 07:42 AM


this was incredibly imaginative, and beautiful....

That is where the normal
is,
soft
inside the dark

That is when that simple
thought
finally
gets it right

That is when totality,
finally
sees the light

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

10 posted 2015-03-11 07:43 AM


This was incredibly beautiful and imaginative....well done, very much enjoyed!


Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

11 posted 2015-03-11 04:58 PM



Thank you Tracie and Lee for stopping by.. always nice to see you here


Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
12 posted 2015-03-16 12:37 PM


"T he only thing that's even
is that everything is odd."      Agreed

                              Ida

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