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Open Poetry #48
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Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida

0 posted 2012-02-24 10:46 AM


today is a hole to crawl into,
a black writhing visceral mouth.
she can taste the edge with her tongue tip
hovering the corner with her teeth;
it is puckered lifelessness.

she knows she started it; a xanthian princess,
and more than a swallower of validation.
she is soft and cold flesh
to wrap around the wrechedness;
an equal in days of misery
if not the quantity, of pills it takes
to pale the skin to lazuline.

tragedy has a particular texture
when it is carelessly flung, rope-like
across the pearlescence of her throat;
that shallow vein
that indent she fills with wishes.
as if someone could lick it away with the
roughness of their tongue, somehow
sustain nourishment from mindlessness.

© Copyright 2012 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2012-02-24 11:25 AM


Okay. So your day isn't going so great, Nicole. Had to look up lazuline.

Reading this almost gave me shivers, and that never happens, I've a thick skin. Your descriptive passages were nightmarish and totally upsetting.

The thing is, I have had days where I wrote the same type of poetical incubusish screams . . .

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
2 posted 2012-02-24 01:24 PM


We're prisoners in our own heads, sometimes, I reckon.  It burns.  Writing helps, though.  Stuffs it all into words on a page, and that confines it and makes it managable.  Thanks, Jerry  
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
3 posted 2012-02-25 12:35 PM


Like a black hole in space
These kinds of days are days when even light cannot escape
from the forces of darks gravity.

"she is soft and cold flesh"

Is this a trait of a "xanthian princess"?

"if not the quantity, of pills it takes
to pale the skin to lazuline."

Are the "pills" the pea under the many mattresses, that the princess feels, like in the tale? that cause her (your) discomfort?

"as if someone could lick it away with the
roughness of their tongue"

The tongue of the prince that is testing the princess for reality?

A mystery here, I like it..

Good poetry, as allways from you.

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
4 posted 2012-02-25 01:51 PM


My birthday wishes to you in Annoucrments taste diabeticly sweet after reading your poem.  Nicole, I am not good at writing literary style comments.  I just know what I like and what I don't like.  I love this poem.  I love how you use words - so beautifully fuse them together.  I appreciate how you break the lines in your poems.  You craft your poems well ... and I like where they take me.  Your poems fascinate me.  We are so different and often I want to have written what you wrote.  That happened with this poem - I want to have written it.

Thank you for writing and sharing.

Oh ... and ... Happy Birthday.

Alison

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
5 posted 2012-02-25 04:59 PM


Hi Ford   Your insight is astonishing.  (Or I'm really obvious... lol)  There is a lot to it, that I don't feel comfortable spelling out in the open - but, I will say that I deal with anxiety, and this poem is a struggle through that.

Alison - your birthday wishes, were perfect, and they made me feel special and thought of; and that is a gift that I cherish.  I sincerely thank you for that.  

You are good at you, and that, I feel is a much truer and rarer trait than many in this world possess.  I admire that, and your genuine and heartfelt comments.

I would love to know why you see us so differently...  

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
6 posted 2012-02-25 07:10 PM


I thought the entire poem wonderful but especially like the last verse... and more especially the last 3 lines. You start strong and just get better and better. *S*
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
7 posted 2012-02-26 01:01 AM


A Pisces. I should have known. Takes one to know one. Even when your poetry is dark it still shines with your unique talent, Nicole.
                               Ida

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
8 posted 2012-02-26 06:19 AM


Ms N....the title says it all?

Eventually we just ignore the pea and decide we like wetting the bed.


Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
9 posted 2012-02-26 08:46 AM


R, thanks miss

Ida, (laughing) i know right? A sign that shows two fish swimming in opposite directions, and tied together suits my duality just right. Looks like i have awesome company.

D, you have the misfortune of listening to the worst of me.  I don't have any spare sheets, they are all being used as capes.

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
10 posted 2012-02-26 11:55 AM


Hi Nicole ~ it's not that I think we are different ( I didn't word that very clearly in my last comment).  Our writing style is very different, I believe.  It's like looking at the bottom of two lakes ... One lake is clear.  You can see the bottom and all that swims by.  The other lake is more murky - a bit darker, and much more intriguing.  That's you and the other is me.  Both lakes, but so different.  Now I need coffee ... it is far too early to be thinking this hard.  Love whst you and share.

xoxo
A

[This message has been edited by Alison (02-26-2012 12:38 PM).]

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
11 posted 2012-02-26 03:34 PM


loved the poem and all comments,


yann

ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
12 posted 2012-02-27 01:07 AM


So well done, Nicole, enjoyed. Oh, and Happy Birthday!
Ms. E

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
13 posted 2012-02-29 02:04 AM


"tragedy has a particular texture
when it is carelessly flung, rope-like
across the pearlescence of her throat;"

Wow!
You sure can make a person think.
Great title, fit the conflict.
Love the way you write.

(PS Happy birthday!!)
(Sorry I missed the party!)

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

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