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Open Poetry #46
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Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2010-07-14 08:29 PM


I could feel myself
like a band of soldiers walking through the trenches,
staring into crickets of the night,
the silent ears of my path

Wondering to myself, where does it end?
How do I find her amongst the woods
amongst the scandalous wolves,
where do I search?

I stand on the fall of my thoughts,
thinking of what to do,
how can I find a woman that
is so intricately true, I could write the words of her mouth
onto my blue tennis shoes.

I want to know how this works,
how can I find the one that sneezes
and innocence become a virtue.

I want her to sneeze,
just so I can feel something, something other than this,
a branch at the top of the tallest tree,
I want to wake with her, to wake and tease,
feel the gentle pockets of her skin
onto mine, onto my heart,
just so I can feel myself again.

© Copyright 2010 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved
easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
1 posted 2010-07-15 01:05 PM


There are several standout lines and images here: staring into the crickets' song, being the tallest tree branch (alone at the top), searching for a beloved among the "wolves", etc. Also, it is true that a sneeze can sometimes denote the beginnings of sexual arousal:

I want to know how this works,
how can I find the one that sneezes
and innocence become a virtue.


A very forthright stanza!

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
2 posted 2010-07-16 10:15 AM


Thanks, easy.  Sometimes being atop the loneliest branch has a certain charm to it.  Take care

Tomer

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
3 posted 2010-07-16 08:11 PM


darn, you certainly have some great phrasing~~
"I stand on the fall of my thoughts,
thinking of what to do,"

M


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