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Passions in Poetry

The Beast Below

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Kit McCallum
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Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


0 posted 06-12-2010 12:09 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Kit McCallum

The Beast Below


Hiding just beneath the surface,
Simmering beyond our view,
Lies a cruel and heartless creature
Known to those unlucky few.

Origins are vast and many,
Born from death or loss in kind,
Loyal to its owner’s heartache,
Nurtured by their ties that bind.

Fostered by “if only’s” sorrow,
Haunted by “what ifs” and “whys”,
Nourished by the endless mem’ries
Where it grows beneath their cries.

Fleeting moments drown its hunger
When the pain has been withdrawn,
Momentarily forgotten,
Though the beast is never gone.

Dark and callous, there it lingers
Feeding off its vessel’s grief,
Poised to pounce at any instant
Should the owner find relief.


/Kit McCallum
© Copyright 2010 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


1 posted 06-12-2010 12:16 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

This can cross many reasons, seasons and sounds, our Kit. Personally, I can place this poem at my husband's feet and say, walk carefully, as he treads the floorboards of chemo treatment. It's a tenuous time, but we know he will come out of it better, healthier, and dare I say a changed man. Thank you for this.



Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 05-20-2010
Posts 1325
Mi now


2 posted 06-12-2010 12:25 PM       View Profile for Amaryllis   Email Amaryllis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Amaryllis

This is amazing, so very well written, I really enjoyed.. thank you for sharing it!
~Amaryllis
Richy
Member Elite
since 05-03-2003
Posts 2775


3 posted 06-12-2010 01:40 PM       View Profile for Richy   Email Richy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Richy


Dear Kit,

Your rhymers are impeccable, not a single, dot dah dot dah out of place. Even shortening memories, to mem'ries to make the sylable count fit.

Everytime you treat us to one of your beautiful poems, they become workshops for all to learn by, and for future students of the writing arts to marvel, and study over.

And not just the technical perfection either at all, the content is so rich and meaningful, nothing forced whatsoever just to make it work, and fit. You have that rare talent to find the words, out of all them out there, to seem like they were born to stand together, side by side, in this arrangement, to not only tell their story, but to, sing it, melodiously as well.

I started out writing rhyme exclusively, and always loved the challenge that you have so perfected in works of art like this, but, I crossed over, to the dark side, of freestyle, with all of its own unique advantages.

When I read a poem like this, it just takes me back to my roots, and reminds me how fun the puzzle of writing can be with rhyme.

To write something so substantial and harmonius both at the same time.

Wonderful, wonderful piece of work here that you should be so proud of.

I will always remember this haven as the place where I really got my scribblin chops, reading great rhyming poets, like you, and Balladeer, and Toe, and Long John and many, many others, as well as all the other wonderful writers here who write in their own exclusinve style.

Thank you for being such a big part of this place. We all owe you and many others so much for always being here, and providing us with this great little place that has stood the test of time, when so many other things we used to count on, have fallen by the wayside.

Sorry for the novel

By the way, your profile picture looks amazing!

Richard xx
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


4 posted 06-12-2010 04:59 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I guess everbody has a beast...mine has revealed herself to many, on many occasions.

I've always read scripture metaphorically, so your poem here is special to me, as it's always been my belief that Armageddon is a personal trial,and the idea of "the beast in the temple" is very much as you describe here as we wrestle with our primal fears and resulting emotional reaction through the mind.

I've considered that to slay the beast would be a self violent act, so perhaps maybe I can tame her a bit, as I learn to forgive myself as I come to understand myself, extending forgiveness to others, since I am ever in need of forgiveness myself, knowing full well that some people may never forgive me is truly punishment enough for someone like me, as my emotions are so very close to the surface I stopped trying to hide them because that was pure futility. And I too, apologize for the novel and the run-on sentence.

Talent, beauty and brains! Nature is indeed the ultimate artist when it produces the likes of YOU.

Your writing is ever immaculate, Kit.

Much love to you.   
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


5 posted 06-12-2010 07:23 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Kit~Since all the superlatives have been used..
may I just ditto Richy..

You have a unique style and grace all your own.

Beautifully penned.

Hugs~Nancy
Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 02-28-2008
Posts 1585
Oklahoma USA


6 posted 06-12-2010 09:23 PM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

I have always enjoyed reading your work Kit. This is beautiful as always.
crosscountry83
Member
since 07-30-2009
Posts 335


7 posted 06-12-2010 09:27 PM       View Profile for crosscountry83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for crosscountry83

Everyone has already said most of everything; Your words expand the substance of an experience to anyone. It reads unbelievably eloquently as well. Thanks for posting this for us to read.

Rileigh
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


8 posted 06-12-2010 09:59 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Quite a write, Kit. This poem could apply to many things, from disease to the oil spill crisis happening now, which was actually my guess at the beginning.

As always, the style is impeccibly KIT...which means perfection in my book. Well done, as always....
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


9 posted 06-12-2010 11:57 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

I was thinking regret... a beast that often lies hidden and feeds on the "what ifs" of our lives. I bow to you and yours.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


10 posted 06-12-2010 11:58 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

.. and I think ... this is how I would love to write ... then I simply get caught in the words and how they touch me.

That is what poetry is all about (to me).

A
LindsayP
Member Elite
since 07-28-2007
Posts 3420
Australia, Victoria


11 posted 06-13-2010 09:57 PM       View Profile for LindsayP   Email LindsayP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LindsayP


Dear Kit I'm another one who would like to
say ditto to Richy's wise words for you

have written it in impeccable style.
A real delight to read. God bless and take care.

Lindsay
Kit McCallum
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since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


12 posted 06-14-2010 07:25 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Thank you soooooo very much everyone.  

I wanted to let you know that I was talking to a friend last week, who encouraged me to get back to my writing and I can’t thank him enough. I started writing on my lunch hours again like I used to do in the old days, and it felt good to get some of my thoughts out ... it’s been a while.

I simply cannot thank you "each" of you enough for all of the lovely comments you wrote above.  My goodness, I don’t know what to say.

Each comment was so wonderful to hear and so very encouraging.  Reading these helped me to return to another writing project I’ve had on the go for some time now and it felt delightful over the weekend to be working on it again.  I’m not sure I would have had the courage to pick up the pen and tackle it again, if I hadn’t received such wonderful comments from everyone here.  

Thank you again so much everyone.  You are an amazing group of people and I do love you dearly.  

With much appreciation,
/Kit
Richy
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since 05-03-2003
Posts 2775


13 posted 06-14-2010 04:45 PM       View Profile for Richy   Email Richy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Richy


"You are an amazing group of people and I do love you dearly."

Same here Kit, from all of us!!!

  
SlowlyFallAway
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since 08-29-2008
Posts 279
North Carolina


14 posted 06-15-2010 03:11 AM       View Profile for SlowlyFallAway   Email SlowlyFallAway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SlowlyFallAway

"Fostered by “if only’s” sorrow,
Haunted by “what ifs” and “whys”"

Loved it with a passion.
Good job :-)

(Hindsight is 20/20)
Mysteria
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since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


15 posted 07-04-2010 05:47 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Well all that could be said has been said, so this is to be felt.
vandana
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Member Patricius
since 10-22-1999
Posts 10748
USA


16 posted 07-05-2010 12:09 PM       View Profile for vandana   Email vandana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for vandana

enjoyed
Eldest
Member
since 06-15-2010
Posts 177
Alabama


17 posted 07-05-2010 06:11 PM       View Profile for Eldest   Email Eldest   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Eldest

I have no "if only's" but I know this beast very, very well
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8010
So. El Monte, California


18 posted 07-11-2010 04:48 AM       View Profile for Marchmadness   Email Marchmadness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marchmadness

Very well done, Kit. Your wisdom is showing.
                                      Ida
brian thomas madden
Junior Member
since 07-08-2010
Posts 32
Ireland (between an ocean and


19 posted 07-12-2010 06:24 PM       View Profile for brian thomas madden   Email brian thomas madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit brian thomas madden's Home Page   View IP for brian thomas madden

"Dark and callous, there it lingers
Feeding off its vessel’s grief,
Poised to pounce at any instant
Should the owner find relief."

powerful writing Kit. Enjoyed the poem.
Lisann
Member
since 01-31-2001
Posts 359


20 posted 08-09-2010 12:58 AM       View Profile for Lisann   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lisann

I have truly missed your writing Kit and very happy to see you back.  Looking forward to more from you as your inspiring pieces have got me through some dark days. Thank you once again my friend
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


21 posted 08-09-2010 01:07 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

wow

powerful piece and a long time coming

great to see you back here again
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


22 posted 01-11-2011 02:04 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

This poem deserves a second, third and more read.

A
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