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Open Poetry #47
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Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2011-05-26 03:42 PM


She understood the crux of her heart
Like the standing room was waiting
But her seat never seemed to come

Her heart was so cold
I could feel the winds of the land
Onto the winter landscape

There was no doubting
That she was like the long pearls of sawdust
Rusting along, fields and rivers

Rippled shirt and white washed jeans
Pleasant all along the rivers scene

Watching the room,
The lonely strides of November
Onto her stomach,
Her vanilla trumpet

The crux of her heart
Never seemed so quiet.

[This message has been edited by Tomer (05-26-2011 09:08 PM).]

© Copyright 2011 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved
faithmairee
Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA
1 posted 2011-05-26 07:52 PM


this is really great...i enjoyed it a lot

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
2 posted 2011-05-26 10:47 PM


Thanks, Faith..happy you enjoyed

Cheers

easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
3 posted 2011-05-27 02:14 PM


Interesting, somewhat inscrutable, and... interesting.

"Vanilla trumpet" is a nice descriptive turn of phrase (for what it surely is describing here).

I am trying to remember if I have ever seen a snowbound riverbank with rusty tracks in November IRL... Your carefully chosen words have brought a picture of such to mind.  

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
4 posted 2011-05-28 10:20 AM


Easy, this was something that just kind of freely flowed from my head...possibly why its hard to decipher.  I hope the images came to life for you, though.

Cheers

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2011-06-01 07:06 PM


A pleasure to read...James
Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
6 posted 2011-06-10 12:18 PM


Thanks,. James...always appreciate the support.  Take care, friend

Cheers

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