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D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx

0 posted 2009-07-12 02:53 PM


Trapped In Linen Sheets

A)
I lie in the mattress of swimming delusions
Screaming nails bear haunted retribution
Scarlet Letter Walking Wounded wounds
Impregnating sword piercing point rounds.

Swallowing suffocation reigning quicksand
Sandstorm time skeletal bleach blade sand
Leach bed filtered cesspool quagmire drain
Swirling nightmare sweating fury cane rain.

Time�s whipped wail quivers sorrow harrow
Furrows dicing seeds depressions vile horror.
Blasting peace, sharp shattered piece body bag
Bleeding recycled repetitive refrain torn rag.

B)
Box spring black hole coffin gravity time bomb
Motel room termination retirement rant tomb
Determinate lines struggle reality comprehension
Striking fiber fabric heartbeat core beat retention.

Epitaph Truth buried naked grave prefabrications
Washington Lies in regurgitated communication
Haunted Holocaust Abu Ghraib secret justifications
Position Crucifixion moralization in Scaled Justice.

American Inquisition Judeo Christian Bible redefinition
National Security Patriot Act warrant less definition
Loss of Due Process, Habeas Corpus, Civil Liberties
Guantanamo Geronimo interned Military Tribunal Liberty.

C)
Constitutional bleeding amputation White House tort
Severed sliced off arms - Congress and Supreme Court,
Lady Liberty crushed, Katrina hurricane bulldoze remains,
President John Yoo bushwhack attacked eminent domain.

Terminated for Poetry Freedom and Democracy dwelling
Vibrating ban censorship Free Speech mandated pure hell
Forced PTSD retirement destructive living suicide Uni-Verse
TFP-PTSD HooverNomic survival linen sheet prayer verse.

D)
God Bless Made in America tear laden pillow headstones
Scarlet Letter Liberal label persecution verbal stoning.
Pit bull mongrel water boarding Conservative Christians,
Ethnic cleansing economic separation of different Christ�s.

God, who is this jesuS of political Hate�s blade of division�s sword,
Who slays Us with hiS wrath vile venom Hate against Love words.
Like �In God We Trust� that �We the people� are blessed equality
That America Scales of Biblical Justice, becomes Injustice hostility.

One awakes trapped in reality�s Guantanamo interned Freedom rights
With a Free Press Patriot Act White House controlled chokehold might.
CorPolitical Country Club Think Tank Tory Royal elite fraternity blight
Fashion model of political Lords, who look down on commoner�s plight.

E)
Has America�s Terminated for Poetry Dead Poets Society body bags,
Become Constitutional coffins of torn linen sheets Bill of Rights rags?
Rest in Peace Scales of Supreme Court Justice - Military Tribunal President,
America�s �At Will� Executive Privilege Autocratic Diplomacy residency,
Plantation mansion Master of Home Sweet Home civilian enslaved edicts.
Thou shall torture thy fellow neighbor Liberal label.
Thou shall kill those against Conglomeration.
Thou shall support Corporate Blackwater militias.
Thou shall not have Human and Civil Rights opposition.
Thou shall not gamble, drink, smoke, create art in America.
Taliban-America United States of Conservatism oppression,
In the compost pyre of the Constitution redefinition,
One sleeps in the linen coffin box �We the people� dream,
Awaiting Lady Liberty Phoenix of America�s Artmosphere
With Angels of the Uni-Verse of Civil Liberties, Free Speech spirit
Spread the wings of America�s future.

David Lester Young 07/12/09 � all rights owned by author
De-Terminated poet, somewhere in America not on company time



© Copyright 2009 David Lester Young - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2009-07-12 10:30 PM


Now I know what you have been doing since your last appearance at pip! ~ You were writing this!!! My goodness, this must have taken forever to write! You cover one heckuvvalot of territory! It boggles the mind! ~ at least it does mine with its limited faculties!

Do you feel better getting all that off your chest! lol


EA

D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
2 posted 2009-07-13 12:34 PM


Earth Angel, yes this is long, and thank you for your comment.

It is a rant poem. where one gets a lot of their mind to fell better afterwards.

Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2009-07-13 12:39 PM


I love the title (grins) but got a little bogged down with the poetry.

Alison

OldPoet
Member
since 2009-06-30
Posts 112
The Left Coast
4 posted 2009-07-13 02:31 AM


Angel? Limited faculties? I think not.

And dear Alison who immediately lowered the level.  

You know guys, it's time to be honest about these things. Poetry is really not one big tent that anyone who is upset with their boyfriend or wife or government can just dump their thoughts without rhyme or reason. Some pimple-faced kid gets dissed by the girl across the aisle and jumps on line to vomit his feelings on some forum as "poetry." There simply no standards on the internet and that's why this guy feels perfectly comfortable posting his long, incomprehensible rant here. This is not poetry and should be firmly but politely rejected. I'm a published poet and believe me if I attempted to include drivel like this in the published version I would never see my stuff in print. With all due respect to D. Lester Young, I advise him to leave his political rants on Huffington Post or Fox News - whatever.

"And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns,
And so it goes" - Billy Joel

OldPoet
Member
since 2009-06-30
Posts 112
The Left Coast
5 posted 2009-07-13 02:44 AM


I have to add this in case my previous point was missed. Political drivel like this posted under the guise as "poetry" dishonors some great poets. These include the classic masters like Pablo Neruda, Emily Dickinson, William Butler Yeats, and Sylvia Plath. But they don't post here so let me mention JB Stillwater, Katriona, and Alison (ok, ok, so I'm prejudiced.) They DO post here and this political inanity disses them big time. So please Admin types, kick this stuff off of this otherwise pristine receptacle of real poetry.

And that, as Edith Ann was wont to say, is my Passion in Poetry!!!!

John

"And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns,
And so it goes" - Billy Joel

D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
6 posted 2009-07-13 05:55 AM


Old Poet thank you for your honest opinion, but since you are somewhat an authority what Poetry is, and what is allowed to be posted. I remind you that I was Terminated for Poetry in Alabama, because I dared question, what was being done in Washington.

So Old Poet, you will label and ban me on the Internet for ranting my Uni-Verse that Lies in Washington. As a Vietnam Vet, I earned the right of Free Speech that some say I cannot vent as Supreme Court Civilian Judges.

Since Mercedes Benz banned me from writing any Poetry in my own home, I guess they also did not know, what Poetry was. Sir, one of you is wrong.

Old Poet, I can you see you in a Painting Gallery determinating, what art is in America. I can also see you, deciding what Americans are allowed to see, hear, and smell, even in their own homes.

Old Poet, I could have used a honest critique but you in total dismissed the whole poem, because the subject was disturbing. And yes the Truth in America today is disturbing, when we have politicians hiding their own covert illegal actions.

I apologize that I did not meet your expectations of your select Country Club Poetry membership. I congratulate you for speaking out in Free Speech.

I just wonder how you feel about a corporation telling an employee that they cannot write inside your own home that 24/7 365 days, they cannot use Vietnam rants of Walking Wounded therapy.

God Bless You from a Liberal God of Poetic Love that gave me the gift of my fingers mind. God does not Judge my heart and my reason for He sees the soul of a person, if not a poet. All I know is He wants me to write, about Blackwater godS.  

D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
7 posted 2009-07-13 05:58 AM


Wraith Of American Shadows

A)
The shifting shades shimmer shallow on shadows furrowed lines,
Quivering quill vibration sensation impregnating human thought.
Darkness of enlightenment pitch black birth riding sunlight’s shine
Finite spectrum of light waves depth of perception altered wrought.

Mind altering hallucinogenic meditative medicinal contemplations
Riding natural harmonics illumination writing outside constrictions.
Gyrating the extremes, riding human spreading potential calculations
Into the infinite elocution of the wraith of American shadow solutions.

B)
We are the legacy shadows of our words worth – epitaph.
That must never surrender God’s given gifts to human masters.
Our homes Free Speech must never be conquered as eminent domains,
But declare their divine Declaration of Independence of Free Will
Upon Constitution’s Freedom and Democracy Home Sweet Home.
That Americans will never be slaves in CorPolical redefined dwellings.
We are the shadows of the Revolution wraith, heard around the world.
Our Lady Liberty Civil Liberties, never to be crushed with Katrina’s cane.
Tory Royal Model America, fears the Whig “We the people” Artmosphere,
For our HeArt will never surrender, as a working economic - second class.

David Lester Young 07/08/09 © all rights owned by author
De-Terminated poet, somewhere in America not on company time

Ringo
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Member Elite
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes
8 posted 2009-07-13 03:00 PM


John-
I, also, am a published poet, as well as an award nominated journalist. I have had plays produced, and novels adapted to stage plays... and, yet, I seem to find that this has merit, and should be permitted to be "published" online as much as anything you have written. Well... perhaps in the America of old it would have been such.

Perhaps it is true that you were able to write universally acceptable and praised poetry from beirth, and that you never had to work on your writing, yet most of us mere mortals have not the ability, nor were we blessed in such a manner. We wre required to write that which was not at a level of perfection, and then depended on another human to give us their own objective viewpoint as to what was good and what was not. With those opinions, we improved.

I do feel you have the right to your opinion; however, that right stops where anyone else's feeling begin, and you have, in my opinion, stepped completely over the line in your replies. Just because you feel this write has no merit means absolutely nothing, in my opinion. No, it is not Robert Frost, yet neither am I,neither are you, and neither is anyone else on here. Every poet writes to their own level of ability, whatever that might be.

This poet encourages constructive criticism, and this- again, my own opinion- has crossed over to personal attack.

If you would like to assist this poet in improving his craft, then please do. We highly encourage such interaction. If all you wish to do is criticize, then, please keep your thoughts from the site.


For those who have fought for it, Freedom has a flavor the protected will never know.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
9 posted 2009-07-13 03:21 PM


I know I'm sticking my head out here, but I concur with much of what  Ringo had to say ~ and I too, am a published poet ~ for what that's worth (well, soon to be! lol). I was recently "discovered" at an Open Mike poetry night by a publisher.

Ringo, those are impressive accomplishments!

OldPoet ~ Although I may disagree with the content of your diatribe, I do enjoy your poetry and your artistic presentations. You are very talented and it is no surprise to me that you have been published.

God bless all three of you,
Love & Light,
Linda



[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (07-13-2009 04:16 PM).]

D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
10 posted 2009-07-13 04:39 PM


Delete

[This message has been edited by D.Lester Young (07-13-2009 11:45 PM).]

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
11 posted 2009-07-13 06:27 PM


Poetry is really not one big tent that anyone who is upset with their boyfriend or wife or government can just dump their thoughts without rhyme or reason.

Actually it is, and until you can come up with qualifications that will convince others that YOU are the person among us who is the one qualified to dictate what poetry is, or is not, your comments carry little weight. Actually, you will find many people here with some pretty heavy qualifications and we don't waste our time criticizing others or telling them what they write is not poetry.

Any further comments by you that are not CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms will be deleted.

D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
12 posted 2009-07-13 07:40 PM


Delete

[This message has been edited by D.Lester Young (07-13-2009 11:43 PM).]

Ringo
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Member Elite
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes
13 posted 2009-07-13 11:42 PM


D- You are not causing any problems. The reason this site was developed is to give everyone a chance to publish their thoughts online, and to give voice to those who seem to have none.
I do not read too many poems on here in the average day due to time constraints within my life, and I post even fewer for the same reason (and the fact that my writing energies seem to have moved in another direction for the mooment), yet I did actually take the time to read yours here. With 12 responses, that should show you that there are others who feel your words and thoughts are worth writing... actually, when I post, I usually get no more than 5 or 6, so I know it says that you are read by the poets on this site.

Anyhow, those are my thoughts, and I look forward to your continued additions to the Passions library.

For those who have fought for it, Freedom has a flavor the protected will never know.

OldPoet
Member
since 2009-06-30
Posts 112
The Left Coast
14 posted 2009-07-17 02:45 AM


For Ringo,
I mentioned being published. And so have you. So that is an issue, no?

No, there was nothing personal at all in the expression of my opinion. I don't know the author and don't want to. In my opinion his offering was less than average poesy.

Okay, where do you publish? And what does "award nominated journalist" mean? Now you have made it personal. And I accept the challenge. You can find me on Amazon here:  http://www.amazon.com/Poetry-Cafe-John-Newlin/dp/0979307570/ref= sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1237867610&sr=1-11

Where are you published?

"And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns,
And so it goes" - Billy Joel

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
15 posted 2009-07-17 09:51 AM


OldPoet, you don't seem to get my point, given courteously. Unconstructive opinions are out of line here. Calling something "less than poesy" falls into that category. Calling something drivel disguised as poetry does so equally.

I had thought a word to the wise would be sufficient. Apparently I was wrong. If one of your intents of being here is to judge and berate what you consider inferior writing, you are in the wrong place and may be asked to leave to find a site where insults are more the norm. There are plenty of them out there.

Also, if you wish to converse or issue a challenge to another poet, you can click on the e-mail icon and do it privately. The thread of another poet's entry is not the proper place.

You are a capable writer and your offerings are welcome. You must also follow the rules of the site, though, or you will not be welcome here. Please familiarize yourself with them.

This matter is closed.

D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
16 posted 2009-07-17 09:07 PM


I am sorry guys that I experiment with different formulas. Here is a Sonnet I hope it is, ?????

Love Devotion Sonnet Skyline

Commitment wedded vow notion
Massaged friction built love lotion.
Warmth swelling delight devotion
Lifetime circulation motion.
Germinated blossom potion
Ceaseless passion locomotion,
Bliss highlight of kissed emotions.

Soul mate poetic see shoreline
Merging together crystalline
Sparkling diamond ringing coastline
Sun rise into sunset headlines
Anniversaries entwined hotlines
Blessing heaven hugged storylines.
Love’s devotion sonnet skyline.

David Lester Young 07/17/09 © all rights owned by author
De-Terminated poet, somewhere in America not on company time



OldPoet
Member
since 2009-06-30
Posts 112
The Left Coast
17 posted 2009-07-19 02:54 AM


Just one brief comment.

"Soul mate" is incorrect. "Soulmate" is correct. The language is the bread and butter of the poet's craft.

The rhyme scheme is what separates sonnets from other forms of poetry.

Sonnet? There are two main forms,the English or Shakespearean form: ABAB CDCD EFEF GG.

And then there is the Italian or Petrarchan form: ABBAABBA CDECDE

The Spenserian sonnet is a variation of the English sonnet with the rhyme scheme ABAB BCBC CDCD EE, in which the quatrains are linked by a continuation of one end-rhyme from the previous quatrain.

Sadly, D. Lester Young has not the slightest clue as to the form of a sonnet. Now please explain to me how it is that a forum devoted to poetry can permit the complete perversion of the sonnet form by a member who has not a clue.

I have written poems in all three forms. Writing a sonnet is not easy. It demands discipline in the form of following the rhyme scheme and the adherence to the meter.

Sigh...

As for you, Balladeer, your weighing in with "Unconstructive opinions are out of line here" means that every post here is above critique and I, for one, give you the lie. So sue me. By the way, your criticism involving your suggestion that I use the private means of expressing my views was eschewed by you with regard to your unhappiness with me - right? What a hypocrite. If I'm out of line, then kick me out. Otherwise, shut the hell up.

Is this a poetry forum or just a place for those with no talent whatsoever to post their drivel without measured response?

I ask JB Stillwater and Heart-to-Heart (Katriona) to weigh in.



"And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns,
And so it goes" - Billy Joel

[This message has been edited by OldPoet (07-19-2009 03:28 AM).]

OldPoet
Member
since 2009-06-30
Posts 112
The Left Coast
18 posted 2009-07-19 03:47 AM


You think this guy has his head screwed on?

This is what he wrote, "Since Mercedes Benz banned me from writing any Poetry in my own home, I guess they also did not know, what Poetry was. Sir, one of you is wrong."

An automobile company has banned him from writing poetry in his own home?

Please. He needs help, not the kind of silly observations from moderators like Baladeer.

Get it right or shut just shut up!!

Sigh..

"And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns,
And so it goes" - Billy Joel

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