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Open Poetry #45
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2009-07-08 08:17 AM


we would lean on our elbows on ledges
looking down at the sky below us
pretending we were just trees there
together in our forest of only two

you said there was wind on your side
and you leaned into me sometimes
like a little girl pushing napkins
into the toe of a woman's too big shoe

and on other occasions you leaned away
I guess so my eyes would know the rest of you
other then what just seemed to fit together
and you looked back at me often too

as if knowing where I was looking
would write your script for the next play
and you would change your costume accordingly
just by moving  your eyes a certain way

or moistening your lips before softly speaking


_____________

daark

© Copyright 2009 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
1 posted 2009-07-08 08:34 AM


yes.. I can see this Mr Daark.. lovely as always ... RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2009-07-08 09:08 AM


"you said there was wind on your side
and you leaned into me sometimes"

I think the breeze was made just to lean women into you

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
3 posted 2009-07-08 09:19 AM


ms R&B, thanks lady friend


______________

ms suesea, then the breezes are a blessing, thank you babe...um...it is a bit drafty out here this am..care to come visit?

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
4 posted 2009-07-08 09:48 AM


I like this - it makes me think that sometimes we are luckey to be able to share the various parts of who we are.  I'd hate to be alone the pieces of me unshared.  If that makes any sense at all.  

A

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
5 posted 2009-07-08 12:26 PM


I am reading this gem while listening to "Diamante" by Zucchero Fornaciari and I find your words and his tune make for a very special moment within this day.

Again every line a highlight ... how you do this!

Love,
Margherita

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
6 posted 2009-07-08 12:52 PM


ms ali-san, I suspect I should not respond to the pieces of you ....he said as she looked at him with a puzzled expression..yes I do understand, thanks little one

______________

ms mar, thank you for soiling your musical charms with my humble penscratching..

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
7 posted 2009-07-08 04:50 PM


interesting piece ... v. well written.

sustained applause!

brneyedgrly
Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125
nowhere and everywhere
8 posted 2009-07-08 08:16 PM



~dark...

and you would change your costume accordingly
just by moving  your eyes a certain way

~love this...love all of it

browneyes    


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
9 posted 2009-07-09 06:15 AM


2ndhand..thank you so very much


_____________

ms browneyes, thanks ms

jbstillwater
Member
since 2009-07-03
Posts 216
Albuquerque, New Mexico
10 posted 2009-07-09 04:15 PM


loved it!  Visual and enticing, edgy and sharp

good writing!

Jan

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

11 posted 2009-07-09 05:53 PM


"you leaned into me sometimes
like a little girl pushing napkins
into the toe of a woman's too big shoe"

...this is so descriptively relatable...another gem...

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2009-07-09 09:16 PM


You lean well...
very well.

You lean so well it
makes one want to learn more.




Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
13 posted 2009-07-10 07:23 AM


ms JB, humble thanks ms

______________

steavenr, thanks amigo


_________________

ms sun, thanks babe, you always smile me

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