navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #41 » No Words...
Open Poetry #41
Post A Reply Post New Topic No Words... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
jbal892
Member
since 2007-11-25
Posts 58


0 posted 2007-11-25 01:04 PM


Hiya!  I'm new to the forums here and have never really posted my poetry anywhere, it's just something I do in my spare time.  This is one that I wrote a few weeks ago for my girlfriend and I was wondering what you guys thought. Everyone that's read my poems say they're realy good but every time I read them I just see some random lines so I was wanting some actual comments from some people.

No words…

No words to describe the words in my head,
No words to describe the feelings I’m having.
Some people may judge us,
Some people don’t understand,
Just how happy you make me.
Whatever they say and whatever they do,
They can never pull me apart from you.
When I see your eyes, those beautiful, endless eyes,
Time stops and I see no one but you.
When we are together, hand in hand,
I pray that time can freeze so I can forever be with you.
When you’re with me lying together, the world could end and I wouldn’t notice,
Pigs could fly, dogs could talk, and hell could freeze,
I wouldn’t care as long as you’re by my side.
When we are apart you’re always on my mind,
I can’t think, I can’t concentrate,
I find myself daydreaming of your beautiful eyes and your lovely hair.
Your name is on repeat in my head,
I can still feel the touch of your soft hands running through my head,
Those three words echoing through my head in your soft voice.
“I love you”
Oh how I do love you,
No words can describe my very true feelings for you.
I love you

© Copyright 2007 jbal892 - All Rights Reserved
Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
1 posted 2007-11-25 01:28 PM


Your words were so beautiful because they came straight from you heart, I enjoyed the read because I could feel the love you have within. Write on my friend, you indeed have a way with words and we here would all like so much to hear them. Welcome to Passions, it is a wonderful site and one you will enjoy very much, don't be shy, post away, share your work and friendship. All the best.

Rick

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
2 posted 2007-11-25 07:54 PM



Welcome to Pips, you'll be glad you joined. I quite enjoyed your first post
Very romantic. Have faith in yourself and keep writing.

Lindsay  

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
3 posted 2007-11-26 04:54 AM


Your name is on repeat in my head

I loved this line... I think I might have used it before!
Welcome to our blue pages, you will love it here and I look forward to reading more of your work.....   Be well   RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Gumpy
Member
since 2007-11-06
Posts 143
Canada
4 posted 2007-11-26 08:27 AM


Keep it up.  I liked it.  Straight from the heart is always good.
Welcome.
Gumpy

How is it that after your heart is ripped out, you feel so much?

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2007-11-26 01:39 PM


JBal~
Welcome to the greatest circle of poets and friends on the Internet~

Your words flow from a loving heart~

Enjoy your stay here and get to know us all~

We will get to know you via your replies to the poetry of others and also through your own poetry~

WELCOME !!

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -     noles1@totcon.com   

jbal892
Member
since 2007-11-25
Posts 58

6 posted 2007-11-26 06:05 PM


Hey guys thanks for the replies!  Definately a lot better then what I got on a different forum on this very same poem.  All it said was "Well, it's not the worst I've read."

I just posted another one in the dark poetry section, i wrote it a few months ago when i was goin through some hard times.

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
7 posted 2007-11-30 02:03 AM


A heart-song; a wonderful gift for your girl

Hope you enjoy Passions!  I flit in and flit out around here...but I always come back

g

"...Never regret anything that made you smile..."

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #41 » No Words...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary