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Open Poetry #41
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Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida

0 posted 2007-08-20 12:33 PM



I saw you standing with your back to me.
No longer interested in what might come up
behind you.
The road you were on was smooth and familiar to you.
You took no other

yet you were paused in mid travel
as if pondering an alternative.

You continued in the same way.
Towards the same thing,
never really caring that you had entangled me
with intentional disguise
dragging me along your road, not ours.

I feel tired, cold and angry
and still I try
to become more in tuned with your world.
Slowly I give up little pieces of
what used to be mine
all the while you keep walking.

Only paying me any mind
when you realize my weight slows you up.
Resenting my presence
Forgetting you wanted me there.
Throwing barbs back at me.

Punishment

for being everything you used to want.


"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

© Copyright 2007 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2007-08-20 12:39 PM


painful... the sentiments inside this.. the reality of this something a lot of people deal with in their own lives...

well done ma'am....

TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
2 posted 2007-08-20 01:50 PM


yes. indeed a very emotional one.
beautiful penned

enjoyed the read

Tomtoo

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2007-08-20 01:51 PM


oh hon...

*touching the screen*

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2007-08-20 01:54 PM


Damn, what a gut-wrenching, heartache write!
To have someone treat you like an anchor can be devastating. If this is personal? Please, know you are a dynamic wonderful woman, deserving only the best.

MoonShadow
Senior Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 943
Dark side of the Moon.
5 posted 2007-08-20 02:22 PM



   Effectively worded and emotions conveyed.

       MoonShadow
.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2007-08-20 03:01 PM


  thank you all..

it is personal, not to me so much, but to someone close to me..

I am an empathetic. Writing my purge of what I can't handle.

I know there are others....

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2007-08-20 04:39 PM


Nice...James
secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
8 posted 2007-08-20 07:31 PM


This 'write' is REALLY exceptional!...

[thoughtful, powerful, emotive, very 'real']

very serious, long-sustained applause!
[a poetic 'standing ovation'!!]

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

9 posted 2007-08-20 07:56 PM




I'm clapping just cuz  your here, now I'm going back to dive into your poetry



Helllowww Susan....

Nice to see you  

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

10 posted 2007-08-20 07:58 PM


Only paying me any mind
when you realize my weight slows you up.
Resenting my presence
Forgetting you wanted me there.
Throwing barbs back at me.

Punishment

for being everything you used to want.

Outstanding....I've known this guy to...can't call him a man...yup, these are guys...yanno?

so good to read you again...but a painful write...

Hugs

Lee J.

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
11 posted 2007-08-21 11:13 AM


nicely read
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
12 posted 2007-08-21 01:05 PM


Susan, it's so sad that too many times this seems to be the way of it.  I feel you pain.  A reminder to never lose myself again....I need those reminders.....thank you.   ....jo
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
13 posted 2007-08-21 04:57 PM


true grit without punches pulled
your style never waivers
liked this

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

14 posted 2007-08-21 09:10 PM


You captured the myriad of feelings well
with this:
"I feel tired, cold and angry
and still I try
to become more in tuned with your world.
Slowly I give up little pieces of
what used to be mine
all the while you keep walking."

Exceptionally worded, I think...

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
15 posted 2007-08-21 10:08 PM


Susan, my friend! Always be yourself. Never change for anyone. Be who you want to be, not who someone else wants you to be.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
16 posted 2007-08-22 08:42 AM


Thank you everyone!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

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