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Open Poetry #41
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2007-08-06 06:41 AM



some mornings on indigo
that drug of night sky behavior
she would run through the minds
of the mountains in all wheel drive

a gypsy wind with no heels perhaps
the crazy side of nowhere
tattered hair and well groomed eyes
the wild stare kind of classy

she would stop at the mirrors there
on the brick wall boredom
waiting for the long moments
dressed as shadows to arrive

and then the change would come
like broken hearted dollars
with flat sides that fall through
the day dreamer's vending machinery

she would spend another day dying

____________

daark



© Copyright 2007 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
bel1e
Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631

1 posted 2007-08-06 06:45 AM


beautifully spilled~ the twist at the end, trademark to your talent~

~love this~

  

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
2 posted 2007-08-06 06:51 AM


thanks babe,,,,donut shop prison..just had to go there, just once
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2007-08-06 07:25 AM


yes the end a trademark twist..
well done sir.. well done indeed

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

4 posted 2007-08-06 09:37 AM


Such imagery you create when you paint with words!
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2007-08-06 01:14 PM


You breathe life into poetry...You are poetry.  *skotc*
BBGrrl
Member
since 2007-07-17
Posts 181
BC, Canada
6 posted 2007-08-06 06:34 PM


Wild stare kind of classy..

I like that very much, daark

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
7 posted 2007-08-06 06:42 PM


only you could write
of those dollars

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
8 posted 2007-08-06 08:38 PM


a most fine ‘write’!

I particularly LOVE:

“she would run through the minds
of the mountains in all wheel drive

a gypsy wind…
the crazy side of nowhere”

“…boredom
waiting for the long moments
dressed as shadows to arrive”

sustained applause!

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
9 posted 2007-08-06 11:17 PM


I like this one a lot.
Can't put my finger on why,
it just struck a chord.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
10 posted 2007-08-07 06:41 AM


thanks to each of you pipcrewfamily

you bless me with the reads

Dominique-Simone
Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643

11 posted 2007-08-07 12:10 PM


she would stop at the mirrors there
on the brick wall boredom
waiting for the long moments
dressed as shadows to arrive


Just when I think it couldn't get any better... it does

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
12 posted 2007-08-07 12:16 PM


good read
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
13 posted 2007-08-08 06:30 AM


ms dom'si, thanks babe!!


___________

ms vandana, thank you

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

14 posted 2007-08-08 02:31 PM


You are so good, and yet, so hard to describe...

reading you is like reading animal tracks, or trail-hunting--I love the lack of gussy, and yet you weave intricate lace with, yes, I will say it again, primal imagery.

grin

Yep--you are primal.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
15 posted 2007-08-08 06:01 PM


I be primal yay!!  thanks serene one for noticing what is behind all that proper man stuff (grin)
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