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Open Poetry #41
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Lost Vision
| Open Poetry #41 |
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Lost Vision |
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BBGrrl Member
since 2007-07-17
Posts 181BC, Canada 
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An apple tree and daffodils on a smooth grassy hill beside an ocean serene. It was my masterpiece - but now I see flaws. Brush strokes painted in haste without deliberation. The colors have faded over time. I’ve applied a glaze hoping to preserve the cool, restful blues joyous cadmium flowers and the vermilion of sweet fruit on a spring-green tree. The apples, particularly have lost their luster. There don’t seem to be as many flowers as there used to be. The hill I climbed is flat now, the tree in a valley. When did that boulder appear? To work then. In creative frenzy, perhaps desperation? I mix, knife and daub. Violet orchids, roses of crimson Carnations of every color. Covering up the rock. Bigger apples, creamy fleshed – I stroke a wind across the sea. So involved in the changes I’ve neglected to see what I’ve really done. I may have more skill, but have lost my vision and what I have left is mud. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...it happens each time a relationship falls apart...James |
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BBGrrl Member
since 2007-07-17
Posts 181BC, Canada |
Thank you James - one of those thing that just burst out. Sometimes perspective is necessary. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
mud is lovely ms when it begins to dry and simmers it's life scent enjoyed this |
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Bronzeage Member
since 2007-07-20
Posts 197 |
I like this very much. The imagery and exposition are execellent. I was dissapointed to see the shift of tone at the end. |
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BBGrrl Member
since 2007-07-17
Posts 181BC, Canada |
Thank you daark, thank you Bronze. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
a whole canvas of truth sitting there, looking you right in the eye. Wise write, very wise. |
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BBGrrl Member
since 2007-07-17
Posts 181BC, Canada |
Thank you Magnus. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
mud is good sometimes good writing here |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
With pen strokes, you painted very vivid word pictures. I appreciated the beauty of your metaphorical writing. Lovely work.  EA |
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BBGrrl Member
since 2007-07-17
Posts 181BC, Canada |
Thank you Passing Shadows. What a lyrical comment, Earth Angel - thank you! |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. Allow for accidental color Color in Outdoor Painting (Hardcover) by Roger William Curtis http://www.amazon.com/Color-Outdoor-Painting-William-Curtis/dp/0823007405/ref=sr_1_1/102-5533977-6744919?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1185463252&sr=1-1 . |
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gwaihir Member
since 2007-07-20
Posts 58Sub-tropical, USA |
Someone once told me that sometimes the opposite of good is "better". Seems like you have captured that thought in this piece describing how in trying to make it better you ruined the whole thing. Although, I do think that mud can be lovely as well. Alas, that is a poem for a different day. |
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BBGrrl Member
since 2007-07-17
Posts 181BC, Canada |
Thank you Huan (I think? *grin) And you gwahir. there are many "happy accidents" in painting, that is to be sure. I will always write "painting" poems. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
I read this yesterday and was not able to reply at that time but wanted to be sure to come back to this today. I enjoyed the images and artistry of this very impressive write. Much enjoyed indeed! |
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