Emily in the Window - pipTalk Forums

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Nashelle
New Member

since 2007-07-14

Posts 2

0 posted 2007-07-14 04:09 PM

Emily in the Window

Feet upon the sill
waiting
she hugs her knees
and mouths words onto the glass.

Still

See her
a cock-eyed smile
a silent shout
a simple wave.

The creak of metal
a rush of air
‘Are you coming to play?’
all the children run away.

Danger

On the tarmac
all grass-stained fingers and holey knees
the laces of their trainers flapping.

Falling

Holding tight the cold frame
she dangles
her hair caught on the wind

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

1 posted 2007-07-14 06:45 PM

Oh, oh. Two children fell in our state because of the hot weather and opened windows. Screens just don't hold them. I hope this is not about anyone you love. Joyce

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2007-07-14 07:07 PM

Naomi~
Welcome to the PiP pages of blue~

A touching post~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - noles1@totcon.com

Trillium

Member Patricius

since 2001-03-09

Posts 12098
Idaho, USA

3 posted 2007-07-14 10:21 PM

I could picture this happening! Hope it is all imagination!

Welcome to the site!

Betty Lou

Betty Lou Hebert

midnightblues
Senior Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 1597
Singapore

4 posted 2007-07-15 04:05 AM

Hi Naomi,

Welcome welcome

Love,
MiCheLLe

If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues

Nashelle
New Member

since 2007-07-14

Posts 2

5 posted 2007-07-15 10:15 AM

Hi everyone.

No, it's from my imagination.

Thanks, glad you 'got' it.
Do you think the construction works or would it be better as one poem?

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

6 posted 2007-07-24 02:27 AM

I think it is just right as is. Unique and clear at the sAme time. Welcome to our site. Love, joyce

?pen4
New Member

since 2007-03-26

Posts 2
NY USA

7 posted 2007-09-10 08:12 AM

Hey--Good feeling. I had to read your piece twice to gather the meaning--all good poetry should be read twice! As to form--would you consider Enjambment?
Barbara

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

8 posted 2007-09-10 01:39 PM

good write

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

r v wooo
Senior Member

since 2007-08-07

Posts 656

9 posted 2007-09-25 12:20 PM

be truthful in a gentle manner and i won't cry.    "all dies! and not alone
         the aspiring trees and men and
         grass..."

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

10 posted 2007-09-25 05:25 PM

Welcome to Passions! Of course the name of your poem grabbed me as I have a four-year-old Emily [granddaughter] and the words chilled me...

excellent writing.

Please, check your email
for a Very Special Greeting!

" It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

clawmute
Junior Member

since 2007-10-01

Posts 24
Arkansas, USA

11 posted 2007-10-03 11:29 AM

I see myself watching children with my hands in my pockets and a thoughtful, wistful look as I read this. Thanks!

KNOWLEDGE IS A DEFENSE AND MONEY IS A DEFENSE, BUT THE EXCELLENCY OF WISDOM IS THAT IT GIVES LIFE TO THEM THAT HAVE IT.

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