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Passions in Poetry

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Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


0 posted 11-26-2008 11:44 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain


I've made up my mind
I'm done with all my thinking
Cause I know this won't work
My heart is slowly sinking

I should of told you
That this feeling deep inside me
Is eating me from the inside out
But I know that would be too hard to see.

Would it be worth it
To just come out and not tell a lie
To be myself for once
And not have to put on this disguise.

That one day you'll accept me
For the person that I am
And that one day you'll love me
Is that too much to demand?

But I see you with him
And my heart gave in
That I know this wasn't meant to be
"We" were not to begin

My heart is moving forward
But my head tells me to step back
I can't grasp the idea
That you'd ever take me back....




© Copyright 2008 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved
XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 01-20-2008
Posts 887
Neverland


1 posted 11-27-2008 08:41 PM       View Profile for XxForever.BrokenxX   Email XxForever.BrokenxX   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for XxForever.BrokenxX

Awe, that's so sad! But the flow of it was perfect. Super Duper job!  

{~~*~~}

Miss.Emmalee

"Who the **** are you?!!?.. GET AWAY FROM MY LIMO!!"

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


2 posted 11-27-2008 10:14 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Really good poem. Sad but wonderful!!! I can relate.

I love pancakes!!!

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 06-09-2006
Posts 1304
California


3 posted 11-28-2008 01:36 AM       View Profile for rhia_5779   Email rhia_5779   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rhia_5779

Its heartbreaking but beautifully written. The rythm just totally clicks.
ruskins
Junior Member
since 11-27-2008
Posts 15


4 posted 11-28-2008 07:35 AM       View Profile for ruskins   Email ruskins   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ruskins

I liked it, as for a title, how about just a simple word? Lament, or Solace. It's best not to wear a guise when you are looking for a companion by the way, it can create problems down the road. As cliche as it is, just be yourself, that way when you find someone of interest; they're falling for you, and not somebody you are pretending to be. Just my 2 cents, take it or leave it, haha =)
hunnie_girl
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Member Elite
since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


5 posted 11-28-2008 01:49 PM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hunnie_girl

love this Zach good to be back for a bit
Krysti
KandyGrl511
Member
since 11-30-2008
Posts 52
Michigan


6 posted 12-02-2008 06:41 PM       View Profile for KandyGrl511   Email KandyGrl511   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for KandyGrl511

that is sad but very nice job!?!
Ri
Member
since 02-01-2008
Posts 67
Blackburn, England


7 posted 12-03-2008 05:37 AM       View Profile for Ri   Email Ri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ri

A great poem, although sad
I can particularly relate to the well written final stanza
wolf girl
Member
since 12-03-2007
Posts 150
washington, US


8 posted 12-08-2008 12:04 AM       View Profile for wolf girl   Email wolf girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wolf girl

amazing and beautiful.

sorry no critique
Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 05-08-2008
Posts 427
Canada


9 posted 12-08-2008 09:13 PM       View Profile for Just.Another.Falling.Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Just.Another.Falling.Star's Home Page   View IP for Just.Another.Falling.Star

really good poem zach. sorry i didn't poste sooner but i haven't been on in ages.
its really beautiful, and so sad at the same time. i hope everything is going okay..?
well i'll ttyl!!!

.:~]Julianna[~:.

"Somewhere under the rainbow...there will be thunderstorms."

BrittanyJ
Member
since 06-03-2007
Posts 460
Come find me?


10 posted 12-23-2008 02:18 PM       View Profile for BrittanyJ   Email BrittanyJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BrittanyJ

How about, Never Meant to be?

Do you really love me? Or should i just let go now??

KandyGrl511
Member
since 11-30-2008
Posts 52
Michigan


11 posted 12-23-2008 07:52 PM       View Profile for KandyGrl511   Email KandyGrl511   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for KandyGrl511

~WOW~ that was amazing~!?!~ i loved it so much!
RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 06-11-2007
Posts 1062
In Love <3


12 posted 12-23-2008 08:17 PM       View Profile for RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed

Aww kid, do you know what you are doing to me today? Lol. Awwww I need this vacation. Anyways, I think "Has Been Won't Be" sums up your poem nicely.

-Kate

"Lucy: I think you are the most selfish person on the planet. George: Well that's just silly. Have you met everyone on the planet?"

 
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